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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How many weekends in advance are people booked up ?

228 replies

vaccinelover · 19/06/2021 11:41

I think my social life just totally sucks clearly. Everyone I know is literally booked up for at least a month every weekend ( if not longer ). Is that how everyone's life is ? Or just the people I know ?

Lighthearted post.

OP posts:
shouldistop · 19/06/2021 12:26

@Twintwix kids activities, seeing parents, kids birthday parties, seeing friends, tickets booked for farm parks etc.

FunMcCool · 19/06/2021 12:26

My summer is always fully booked. I don’t think I ever have any free weekends ever really. This weekend is my first quiet one in a while where I only have a lunch on. Next weekend I have Friday night dinner, Saturday party, Sunday meet up. It’s always like this.

Are you not happy with the way your social
Life is? Have you tried friendship apps? Peanut, mush? Or a hobby?

ADialgaAteMyDog · 19/06/2021 12:27

@vaccinelover I can do lunch today if you're free?! Wink
Definitely got phased out by one friend who was always "busy" even at stupid times so I do think, sad as it is, that people say it because they don't want to see you. I just leave the ball in their court now. She also refused to make long term plans with me though.
I do think it's nice to say to someone, fancy the pub? And head out for a nice, unexpected drink or two, or the cinema, or whatever. I feel very much in a minority tho.

PassionfruitOrangeGuava · 19/06/2021 12:27

@Twintwix

Can people give some examples of their bush weekends? I can't imagine having all these plans for months on end. What are people doing?!
Toddler photo shoot (🤣) then lunch Visiting siblings for the day

Hen do for three days

Friends coming over
Visiting friends

Neighbour barbecue
Work drinks

Etc.

It’s mostly just seeing friends for coffee or lunch or dinner or going to their houses or vice versa rather than specific events.

PyjamaFan · 19/06/2021 12:27

I agree about the different personalities.

I used to plan a lot and have a full diary but lockdown made me realise how unhappy and stressed out it was making me. Now I enjoy doing much less organised stuff, spending more time at home and not planning so much. It's great.

On the negative side my mother is furious with me and thinks I an very selfish and neglectful. So you can't have it all!

UnChatNoir · 19/06/2021 12:28

@UnChatNoir

I'm booked until the end of June now, and then 3 weekends in July.

God knows about any other plans 🤣 That's too in advance for me.

I will admit though, only one of those weekends involves friends - the rest is family (no kids though) and going away with DH.

So, I am also a bit of a billy no mates 🤣

vaccinelover · 19/06/2021 12:30

@FunMcCool

My summer is always fully booked. I don’t think I ever have any free weekends ever really. This weekend is my first quiet one in a while where I only have a lunch on. Next weekend I have Friday night dinner, Saturday party, Sunday meet up. It’s always like this.

Are you not happy with the way your social
Life is? Have you tried friendship apps? Peanut, mush? Or a hobby?

I think I'm not that happy. It's not compatible with my friends. Anywyay I'm meeting up with a new person I met online today. We met yesterday and decided to meet today for lunch ! Maybe this is my kind of person !
OP posts:
LindaEllen · 19/06/2021 12:31

I'm only really booked up for birthdays and things like Father's Day. My family are quite chilled with plans and usually plan things on the day! 😂

FunMcCool · 19/06/2021 12:33

@vaccinelover

That’s brilliant! Enjoy your lunch. You’re brilliant for doing something about being unhappy with the status quo. Hopefully this friend will be as spontaneous as you! Enjoy op.

WhatTheFlap · 19/06/2021 12:36

I’m due to give birth any day now so don’t have plans in the diary, but pre-covid I would usually be booked up for a few months in advance. I live quite a way away from most of my friends so plans on Saturday would take up my whole weekend as I’d usually drive down and stay overnight. It’s quite normal in my group of friends to have plans for months in advance!

Notaroadrunner · 19/06/2021 12:36

I have zero plans for the future. I am free every weekend. I'll probably visit family at some point but as yet have no plans. That would be 2 weekends out of my future so won't take too much out of me Grin

VestaTilley · 19/06/2021 12:39

3 weddings in for next summer, one for 2023, one for this July.

Sunday’s are usually taken up with church and DS’ swimming lesson. We’re going to a toddler’s birthday party this afternoon and have plans to see family next weekend and friends the weekend after.

We’re seeing as many people as we can cram in this summer as possible as we’re (hopefully) moving away, and because I think Covid restrictions may return.

Pre-DS and Covid we were often booked up with plans a month in advance as we liked to ensure we saw family (all of whom live far away) and friends, while also going to the theatre, galleries, restaurants etc.

Now with a toddler I prefer to plan less, so we can do nice family outings on a Saturday if the weather is good. We’re very fortunate to have lots of friends and large families, though I did welcome the break from socialising that came with the lockdowns- though I appreciate that’s not a widely held view.

danadas · 19/06/2021 12:40

We have busy weekends but I prefer spontaneity so unless it something that I have to book travel/accommodation for then I tend to know the weekends we will be doing 'something' but I don't know what that something is yet.

We are both football fans of opposing teams so football season is hard to plan because kick off times and days change for TV. My son also trains/plays both weekend days and my daughter works so we have to figure out where everyone is going to be.

The Covid booking thing is a nightmare for people like me. Trying to decide what time I wanted to get to the museum today not knowing when son will be home, if husband will feel up to coming etc is a pain. I've taken a stab at 3pm!

nellyburt · 19/06/2021 12:42

I’m pretty booked up until November and have four holidays booked between now and January 1st.

Most are catching up on things that were cancelled/ rearranged over the last 18 months.

Two weekends have freed up with the restrictions not lifting which was a relief!

agododopushpineapple · 19/06/2021 12:43

I think I part of it at the moment is that we haveTo book things that may be previously been spontaneous- pubs, lunches etc. So people have gone ahead and booked things in.

notacooldad · 19/06/2021 12:44

So if I was your friend and asked if you wanted to hang out next Saturday, you'd say no. And if I then asked you when are you next free, you would say ' Not until November?
Maybe she is doing stuff with her friends? 🤷‍♀️

I've got plans right through summer. We are out later this afternoon and meeting friends, seeing parents and walking tomorrow.
I have some weekend walking trips and cycle rides coming up and also rescheduled gigs.
Me and dh have a weekend away planned once o amonth right through to December.
Friends have planned a few meals out.
I like having things to look forward to with a wide group of families and friends.

LadyMargaretBeauforte · 19/06/2021 12:44

Tbh honest Op, i think the whole i'm busy/booked up thing is a load of nonsense. You make time for the people you want to see. If they are as booked as they say, that tells me that you were not on their radar of people to make arrangements with initially.

I had a friend like this yrs ago. I asked her at the very beginning of a new yr if she was free for coffee ( i had recently lost my Dad and just wanted to be busy and distracted really with something to look forward to.) She rattled off months of plans but was free April 6th ( 4 mths later). I " booked " it in and then 2 days before we were due to meet she cancelled by txt saying " i cannot afford to meet as i have spent so much so far this yr , i cannot afford it". I offered to pay for her coffee ( less than £5 no big deal) to which she then replied she "was very tired from all her busy weekends". She then suggested an alternative date in the August. I replied with " I need to check my diary and come back to you" which she would have known was me being sarcastic, but i never did! Have not heard from her since either. That was 3 yrs and i was a very good friend to her helping her out often, supporting her etc.

My point is people will make time for those they want to see. All this booking months in advance is total rubbish, they are booked up yes, with the people THEY want to see or doing things THEY want to do. Fair enough, just do not make yourself so avail for them , when they find themselves at a lose end.

Try to widen and increase your circle of friends op and then you stand more chance of being someone's priority. If you hardly see this friend and then when you try to, you have to pencil yourself months in advance, that is not a friendship. I hope you find someone to go to the thing you want to do with, so you don't miss out.

vaccinelover · 19/06/2021 12:47

@notacooldad

So if I was your friend and asked if you wanted to hang out next Saturday, you'd say no. And if I then asked you when are you next free, you would say ' Not until November? Maybe she is doing stuff with her friends? 🤷‍♀️

I've got plans right through summer. We are out later this afternoon and meeting friends, seeing parents and walking tomorrow.
I have some weekend walking trips and cycle rides coming up and also rescheduled gigs.
Me and dh have a weekend away planned once o amonth right through to December.
Friends have planned a few meals out.
I like having things to look forward to with a wide group of families and friends.

If my friends told me they have no free time to see me at all, until NOVEMBER- I would not consider them my friends.
OP posts:
Steelesauce · 19/06/2021 12:47

I'm easy going and rarely book in advance. I work weekends too. Today is just whatever I fancy with the kids and whoever pops over pops over. My mum nipped over to see the kids ride their new bikes so far. Work tomorrow. Next weekend I actually have pre booked plans but they have changed slightly as the restrictions didn't lift. Other then a wedding next year and a birthday party in Nov, I have nothing booked so far! Ill probably plan my children's birthdays a month or so before.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 19/06/2021 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YellowFish12 · 19/06/2021 12:48

Pretty much to the end of august 🤷‍♀️

DizzySquirrel90 · 19/06/2021 12:51

OP I wouldn't worry.

There are many people who don't plan for various reasons. Like myself.

I plan a week at a time. At this current moment I have no plans for next Saturday and Sunday.

123rd · 19/06/2021 12:53

Just trying to arrange Some dates to meet up with different groups. I'm not saying I'm busy the entire weekend but I have something booked every week end til sept. But I also wouldn't commit myself to plans for fri evening , sat day and evening etc. It would be too much for me so would have free time planned too

StarCourt · 19/06/2021 12:53

I have one Saturday booked up for a friends birthday in a few weeks time and a couple of Saturday appointments for DD to have teeth removed.
That's it

PassionfruitOrangeGuava · 19/06/2021 12:55

@LadyMargaretBeauforte

Tbh honest Op, i think the whole i'm busy/booked up thing is a load of nonsense. You make time for the people you want to see. If they are as booked as they say, that tells me that you were not on their radar of people to make arrangements with initially.

I had a friend like this yrs ago. I asked her at the very beginning of a new yr if she was free for coffee ( i had recently lost my Dad and just wanted to be busy and distracted really with something to look forward to.) She rattled off months of plans but was free April 6th ( 4 mths later). I " booked " it in and then 2 days before we were due to meet she cancelled by txt saying " i cannot afford to meet as i have spent so much so far this yr , i cannot afford it". I offered to pay for her coffee ( less than £5 no big deal) to which she then replied she "was very tired from all her busy weekends". She then suggested an alternative date in the August. I replied with " I need to check my diary and come back to you" which she would have known was me being sarcastic, but i never did! Have not heard from her since either. That was 3 yrs and i was a very good friend to her helping her out often, supporting her etc.

My point is people will make time for those they want to see. All this booking months in advance is total rubbish, they are booked up yes, with the people THEY want to see or doing things THEY want to do. Fair enough, just do not make yourself so avail for them , when they find themselves at a lose end.

Try to widen and increase your circle of friends op and then you stand more chance of being someone's priority. If you hardly see this friend and then when you try to, you have to pencil yourself months in advance, that is not a friendship. I hope you find someone to go to the thing you want to do with, so you don't miss out.

Thing is, the people who prefer a spontaneous way would equally make the effort to plan something in with friends with full diaries if they wanted to see them. If I ask someone to coffee a month from now and get a ‘ah I dunno what I’m doing let’s see nearer the time’ in response I’m not going to keep that date open for them in case they decide to see me, it’s still free and something else will get booked in. So I think while people will make the effort to see people they want to see, ultimately the two types are just incompatible. Because the spontaneous person has more free slots due to not planning things, and the booker isn’t often free at short notice.