How many weekends in advance are people booked up ?

[vaccinelover]

I think my social life just totally sucks clearly. Everyone I know is literally booked up for at least a month every weekend ( if not longer ). Is that how everyone's life is ? Or just the people I know ?

Lighthearted post.

We have a few birthday Saturdays booked up and a couple of weekends of family visits through the summer. Any more than that would stress me out.

We are on a day trip today but just organised and booked it last night.

@Womencanlift I’m a SAHM and my youngest goes to nursery once a week so I relax on Wednesdays and after 7.30pm when the DC go to bed 😂😂
Oh and he still naps for a couple of hours a day so that’s my Netflix / cleaning time 😂

[quote vaccinelover]@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba yes you're so right ! I don't like planning too far in advance as things come up that can take priority and I hate letting people down. I also don't like to force myself to do things I don't feel like doing, so it's hard for me to commit.
It means I spend a lot of weekends not having plans and asking people to do stuff, when they're already booked up because they plan everything in advance. So I feel let down, like Billy no mates.

So it's not really working out for me ! I need friends like me ! But I literally know maybe just one or two people who are like me. [/quote]
if you live close enough you could pop round to watch the Hungary game with us at 2pm!😁

I know I just don't like the pressure of not being able to decide what I want to do (if anything) on any given day, on the day.
we have so many variables that could make any day go in several different directions.
I don't even know what I'll feel like doing on Monday (or able to), I couldn't possibly book things for November.

[quote Womencanlift]@PassionfruitOrangeGuava I do the same meet friends, meals etc. but it’s the planned aspect to me that is not relaxing. Having to constantly check calendars sounds like a nightmare

I suppose I’m lucky that my friends feel the same and our social life is much more spontaneous as we leave space for last minute plans[/quote]
I have lots of different friends and friendship groups rather than one main one, but I can see how it’d work if you tend to hang out with a particular group who all feel the same about plans. I would never fit into that group, it’d drive me bonkers 🤣 after the second time someone says they’re not sure what they’re doing and will see nearer the time I stop trying to make plans and only see them if they suggest something and I happen to be free.

Nothing booked but I have young kids so I'm never free. Occasionally I could do something with mates but it would take organising. If I want a night out with DH I'd have to give my mum at least a week's notice.

I hate having a busy diary. I work a week or 2 ahead at best, unless it's a birthday or wedding.

But if someone asks me if I'm free on X weekend, then I'll say im busy even if I only have eg an afternoon coffee planned on the Saturday...

Im a total introvert, and find one meeting a weekend is exhausting enough! So even if I'm technically free on Friday evening, sat am and evening, and all of Sunday, I count my weekend as fully booked

I hate the way that extroverts have emerged from lockdowns with extra vigour for meeting up

My brother and sister say they are but find ways to weasel into things as they like.

I wonder if there’s a difference too between people who are very committed to a plan no matter what and people who really can’t predict how they’ll feel emotionally on a day. For me once I’ve agreed to do something it’s happening, unless I’m really unwell. I don’t like flakiness. I know I will want to go for a meal three Fridays from now because that’s what I enjoy doing, and even if I didn’t fancy it I’d be going anyway because I’d made a plan with a friend and it’d be rude and disrespectful of their time to cancel. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be unable or unwilling to make plans because you don’t know how you’ll feel on the day.

This thread has made me feel a bit better actually. It's not that I don't have friends. I think the style of planning just doesn't match up with people I know.

I'm going to find new friends, who's style is more like mine.

I'll book my old ones in, three months in advance of course.

@HailingTaxis

I hate having a busy diary. I work a week or 2 ahead at best, unless it's a birthday or wedding.

But if someone asks me if I'm free on X weekend, then I'll say im busy even if I only have eg an afternoon coffee planned on the Saturday...

Im a total introvert, and find one meeting a weekend is exhausting enough! So even if I'm technically free on Friday evening, sat am and evening, and all of Sunday, I count my weekend as fully booked

I hate the way that extroverts have emerged from lockdowns with extra vigour for meeting up

I'm similar, I wouldn't arrange 3 different blocks of socialising on Friday Saturday Sunday with different people. I need to recharge.

So if I had plans Saturday eve and someone suggested doing something on Sunday id turn it down.

It definitely depends on your job too - my husband works a lot of weekends in the summer, so we aren't all booked every weekend, but if its something we want to do together then planning can get a bit tricky as our schedules are at odds with most other people's.

Ideally I like a mix of things booked ahead to look forward to, and some free weekends for when people ask last minute/ I or the kids fancy something on the day etc

But it doesn’t always work out that way!

We're not especially sociable people but we do have 2 weekends out of the next 4 planned in some way.

With people I know, it’s been a slow start post lockdown to put things in, as people (including me) are a. Cautious, and b. Wanted to see family first.

@PassionfruitOrangeGuava

I wonder if there’s a difference too between people who are very committed to a plan no matter what and people who really can’t predict how they’ll feel emotionally on a day. For me once I’ve agreed to do something it’s happening, unless I’m really unwell. I don’t like flakiness. I know I will want to go for a meal three Fridays from now because that’s what I enjoy doing, and even if I didn’t fancy it I’d be going anyway because I’d made a plan with a friend and it’d be rude and disrespectful of their time to cancel. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be unable or unwilling to make plans because you don’t know how you’ll feel on the day.

This is why I don't want to make plans for three Fridays away. I don't know how I'll feel. Can't we decide on Wednesday to go for a meal on Friday ? Or even better, Friday morning ?

Yes I think it’s defo a personality thing. I have a friend who sounds more like you and hates to plan - fine - but she often will get passive aggressive about it and make dogs about me being too booked out. It’s affected the friendship as I just find it offputting that she thinks it’s ok to criticise how I do things tbh. Doesn’t sound like you do this and I appreciate your frustrations, but folk just have different preferences.

OP you seem a bit annoyed with the busy people- as though they are somehow shunning you by having other things in the diary already! They could equally wonder, if you want to see them for dinner tonight, and hang out, why wouldn't you think about it a bit in advance and ask them to dinner? It feels like you want people to be available when they cross your mind, but don't want the hassle of planning your diary?

Booked next weekend and that is it.

@BlueBoob.

that's the heart of the matter. different personalities having certain habits, routines and preferences.
plus different circumstances.

neither is wrong or right.
but it's easier if friends & family have the same attitude? predisposition? (can't think of the right word) as you.
luckily we have both types, so plan ahead with those who prefer that, like yourself, and play it by ear with others.
I can work with that.

Can people give some examples of their bush weekends? I can't imagine having all these plans for months on end. What are people doing?!

*busy

@Undersnatch

Yes I think it’s defo a personality thing. I have a friend who sounds more like you and hates to plan - fine - but she often will get passive aggressive about it and make dogs about me being too booked out. It’s affected the friendship as I just find it offputting that she thinks it’s ok to criticise how I do things tbh. Doesn’t sound like you do this and I appreciate your frustrations, but folk just have different preferences.

I just feel sad and like I have no friends/ they don't care. I try not to show it though, but I probably do a bit.

It's a comparability issue and not to be taken personally though. Which this thread has highlighted to me. I feel much better !

A mix of both planning and spontaneity sounds like the best mix for me. Weddings/birthdays/concerts etc are known in advanced so I will know that I am not free then and can plan around it

If I was talking to someone about doing something and they pulled out their calendar and said “I can fit you in three weeks next Wednesday, does that work?” then that sounds more like an appointment rather than a friendly catch up.

I would make less plans with them than the friend who says “fancy lunch on Sunday?”

I'm booked until the end of June now, and then 3 weekends in July.

God knows about any other plans 🤣 That's too in advance for me.

We might have plans next weekend, might not.

Sometimes we are busy and sometimes we aren’t.

I don’t particularly like having too many plans and things booked it. It stresses me out.

I prefer to just see how I feel on a day to day basis.

We have so much going on in the week, I like to take weekends a little easier.