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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want covid vaccine even though bf says I cant

318 replies

Trumanshow · 18/06/2021 22:47

So my bf lives with his mum who is pretty old. Apparently her dr has said she shouldn't have the covid vaccine as it's not safe and no one who has had it can come into contact with her for 10 days. So my bf says Im not allowed to have it done. As far as I know the vaccine can't shed and if his mum is old (80s but otherwise healthy) she will be fine having the jab herself! She believes crystals heal....

I'm pretty well educated and they are starting to make me doubt myself, Im booked to have first dose tomorrow (my hometown has had a massive surge in cases) but I'm scared of the fallout if I do. AIBU just to go have it done even though he says I cant?

OP posts:
Orchidflower1 · 19/06/2021 00:52

@Trumanshow the vaccine is just a little prick so you’d be used to that. In fact I’d ditch the other useless, controlling prick for an actual useful, life saving one !

PurpleSunrise · 19/06/2021 00:53

Get it!

Mothership4two · 19/06/2021 01:06

Glad you are getting the vaccine OP.

I think you should think long and hard about him and his behaviour. As well as being a liar, he is controlling and seems to be affecting your decisions, ie to come on here and ask if it's OK to go against his wishes regarding your body/health!

kittie01 · 19/06/2021 01:15

My doctor is no longer giving it out so perhaps the doctor is telling the truth. Some people are advised against getting it. Yabu listening ti him telling you what to do but you should stay away for a period of time due to shedding

ineedaholidaynow · 19/06/2021 01:18

@kittie01 what shedding?

ajs8 · 19/06/2021 01:20

[quote PastMyBestBeforeDate]@ajs8 technically some vaccines that are live give you a mild dose of the illness and you are briefly slightly infectious. The covid jabs are NOT live. Most vaccinations are also not live.[/quote]
@PastMyBestBeforeDate thank you for your words of wisdom. I love the word “technically’ it’s not proven then. Your comment is completely irrelevant.

Bananasinpyjamas21 · 19/06/2021 01:25

I’d worry about your BFs mental health frankly. That level of paranoia isn’t healthy.

Quaggars · 19/06/2021 01:26

He's talking out of his arse.
Also, he's not the boss of you.
Get the jab if you want it, it's absolutely nothing to do with him.

DeadButDelicious · 19/06/2021 01:28

If you want the jab, get the jab. It has precisely nothing to do with him.

Seriously, throw the whole man away. He is not a catch.

HoppingPavlova · 19/06/2021 01:35

I’m a Dr and can tell you either your BF is lying or has received muddled information. It may be that if his mother is very elderly she may have confused what the Dr told her and told him a load of bunk. However, he should have used his common sense when listening and checked this himself with a medical professional.

There may well be a medical reason why his mother can’t have it. It may be unsafe for her to have it. There is however no reason why she can’t be in contact with anyone who has had it. In fact it’s sensible for everyone around her to have it to help protect her. Tell your BF to discuss this with a Dr to get the correct information.

QueenBee52 · 19/06/2021 01:39

Get your Vaccine OP 🌸

ThinWomansBrain · 19/06/2021 01:43

@Trumanshow

I'm not allowed to see him for 10 days after vaccine either apparently... Because he lives with his mum (at 43) he says he will take it home with him. Never mind the countless people they both see everyday, it's just a control thing I think. I was starting to doubt my stance on this so thank you for reassuring me
Only ten days? A lifetime would be a better option.
faithfulbird20 · 19/06/2021 01:52

U can do what u like. But if it affects his mum then I'd love somewhere else for 10-14 days

FlowerArranger · 19/06/2021 01:58

@Trumanshow - If a man tells you what you can or cannot do.......

You don't walk.

You RUN

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/06/2021 02:00

So don't see him for 10 days. Then another ten and another. Until you haven't seen him forever.

Anordinarymum · 19/06/2021 02:03

He's 43 and lives with his mum would be enough for me to walk away actually, never mind anything else OP

custardbear · 19/06/2021 02:11

Have the jab abs ignore him, is he of a religion or culture who are against the vaccines or just deeply uneducated?
The vaccine prompts your body's immune system, it's not a live virus and doesn't cause you to shed the live virus

Maggiesfarm · 19/06/2021 02:12

@Trumanshow

Thank you all. I was starting to think I was a lunatic for arguing about it.

Yes Notthecatswhiskers ... That's me (and him)

What he said was 'lunatic'. I don't believe it, not saying boyfriend was lying but he may have got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

Good luck for the future - which is currently beckoning you and may be very exciting.

QueenBee52 · 19/06/2021 02:25

He is making You out to be a loon,, Gaslighting you.. controlling you.,

Get him to F*

Clumsyvolcano · 19/06/2021 02:36

Your boyfriend is seriously as thick as shit if he genuinely believes you will give him COVID from having the vaccine. I honestly would not associate with somebody that stupid, let alone date him.

Bonkers!

He is not in any position to dictate to you whether to have a vaccine and certainly not based on unfounded, illogical assertions.

Don’t breed with him Grin

Mandalay246 · 19/06/2021 02:41

Your BF is not in charge of your health - if you want to have the vaccine do so. As for not going near him for 10 days afterwards - that's an easy one, I wouldn't be going anywhere near him ever again! He's either manipulative or very stupid.

Marty13 · 19/06/2021 02:57

Hey OP. I have bad news and good news.

Bad news is, your BF is a jerk. You know this because even if he believes (mistakenly) that you having the vaccine can be harmful to his mother, the correct thing to say is : "I'm so happy for you that you can get the vaccine. Sorry, because I'm worried about my mom I think it may be better to not come in close contact for a few days, but let's have a date in ten days !" That would be a normal kind thing to say rather than "well I get to decide whether or not you're vaccinated", which is basically what he said to you.

The good news is, you don't have to spend a second longer with him, you can dump him right away.

stuckinarutatwork · 19/06/2021 03:17

They're lying. No doctor has said this. The vaccine does not contain the virus so you absolutely cannot catch it nor transmit it to others (so not like you used to be able to with the older polio vaccines).
My DDad had previous history of anaphylactic shock from a flu vaccine and even he was told that he should get the Covid jab (under hospital supervision with a crash trolley to hand). He was fine and has now had two doses.

me4real · 19/06/2021 03:20

A doctor could've said it's not safe for her, that's how I interpreted the post. But that is very rare, and I don't see that there'd be a 10 days rule against others having it.

@Trumanshow You could speak to your doctor or the vaccine clinic on the phone beforehand and ask them if anyone would be told that people who've had the vaccine can't come near any of their family members for ten days? (It does sound like complete bollox if I write it out. Grin ) You could ask for confirmation if you like.

Then block him for talking shit and lying.

georgarina · 19/06/2021 03:33

OP what are you getting out of this relationship?