Bitter about missing school occasions

[Rhinothunder]

Just really beginning to hate this government. Parents have been banned from sports days at all our local schools as they say its too much risk and they can't police lots of bubbles as required by govt guidelines.

We've also been banned from assemblies and shows even if can hold them outside. I haven't seen a single thing yet in my 6 year olds school career. We saw so much for the older ones and was a real high for us and the kids.

Meanwhile on the news we are watching g7 encourages, football officalls and z list celebrities swan round the world and mass together.

It's so galling and I'm getting really angry about it.

Struggling to accept it and thinking of how I can take action.

I'm with you - two of my DC are Y6 and Reception and we're not getting to see anything. Really sad for my Y6 girl who is wonderfully philosophical about it but really sad that she wasn't able to help her little brother for the one year they were in school together due to bubbles.

I at least had the great satisfaction of being able to vote in a by election on Thursday and see a safe Tory seat lost - and was also able to tell canvassers that this is why I voted the way I did.

Too late to change anything for them, though.

"It's as PP have said, no one makes money out of school assemblies therefore they don't matter."

Well that's true but when trying to minimise unnecessary contacts, of course events that contribute to a person's livelihood are going to take priority over events that are nice-to-have but not essential.

Jobs depend on the reopening of sporting events and soft play centres but not on school events - hundreds of thousands of unnecessary contacts for very little clear gain beyond I suppose 'well-being.'

When pretty much everything else is now open, with plenty of things for parents and families to do, it feels churlish to complain about a few more weeks of 'no school events' IMO. There are just a few weeks left in school now.

I'm heartbroken my DS missed his primary schools last months, and the leavers assembly. It feels as though those last days of innocence were snatched away from all of us. The memories we should have made and the times we should have looked back on never happened.

I don't blame it on the government or any other nonsense, but it is still sad.

As a family we have done eveything we could within rules for the whole pandemic - days out, swimming, soft play, short breaks, zoo trips etc. Dh and I both been out at work the whole time, and ds8 and ds3 at school and nursery. We're very matter of fact about it, and have definitely focused on what we can do, not what we can't do. We've only had 2 bubble breaks, 1 each, and DS8 sport day is going ahead with 1 parent per child, sat on chairs 2 m apart and unable to speak to each other. I thought we'd kept life as normal as possible for the kids.

Ds8 has been sleeping terribly this week, and was in tears last night as he can't remember life before covid and doesn't think its ever going to end. This is affecting them far more than we know.

My daughter was in y6 last summer.

The school held a leavers assembly in the playground, inviting 50 odd guests including the local vicar, teachers of other years, school governors etc.

Lovely. The only people not invited were parents, unless of course you were a parent governor. Their attitude throughout was quite against having parents anywhere near school, even outside.

Winding back to before the pandemic, the school was obsessed with having parents in school, in fact it got quite ridiculous. For example, the head teacher wanting to ‘push’ school meals for financial reasons, thus ‘inviting’ parents to join a school meal on a Wednesday lunchtime, which many of them took annual leave for because they felt forced to comply.

The parents were always treated as commodities at that particular school. The pandemic was a real eye opener - shouty emails in capital letters, you name it.

We are getting an outdoor sports hour this year - to keep the bubbles apart. Its caused upset with separated parents as only one adult per child can go. Because obviously more than 30 people outside is a covid risk. Unless you are a drunk Scotland fan in London and then its amusing and the police don't seem interested in breaking up groups.

My year 6 child will be going to a secondary school in September he's never set foot inside. Didn't get to do open events before we applied, no transition day this summer. They cant even do an outside meet up of the houses as there's more than 30 kids, plus adults would be needed. But Ascot is fine.

Anyway, it won't make a difference, but I'm going to write to my mp about it today. The footage from the Scottish fans partying in London and the lack of action from police over clear covid restrictions breeches has pissed me right off. (Shes a tory in a safe tory seat - with a smaller majority than the C&A seat was until this week.)

@CarrieBlue

I’m delighted that parents don’t have to attend sports day, assemblies, school productions, shell out for residential S or trips. No guilt for not being able to attend due to work, no ridiculous sobbing from parents at leavers assemblies, no over competitiveness from other parents at sports day or about SATs results. So refreshing!

OP please don’t feel the need to ‘do something’ on my child’s behalf (who really isn’t bothered as I don’t catastrophise around them so they know no different) or for me as a parent. I also appreciate that the staff at my child’s school are pretty much on their knees with exhaustion after the toughest 15 months of their careers, and all the things you are bitter about are things they do from their goodwill, extra to their job of teaching.

Another well said from me.

I can’t go to my own child’s events etc. due to working and neither can DH and because a childminder drops off and collects, I never set foot in the school anyway even during pre- Covid times. It’s not essential for being involved in their education itself and a great alternative has been using the school information app where they report what they have been doing etc.
Things like ‘nursery graduation’ are more for the parents than the child anyway.

I do however, agree with the hypocrisy of evens such as G7 BBQs and sporting events going ahead fine and yet still schools are left to suffer poor guidance, no extra funding or staff and everyone is exhausted and still getting criticised, with another month still to go.

Feel the same. My DS is in year 6 and I won’t be able to watch his final sports day or leavers assembly, it’s also looking likely the induction days at secondary school will be cancelled now. His residential trip was cancelled last month too, it just feels like endless disappointment.

I think it could easily be managed and spaced apart. We could all wear masks if they wanted us to, it’s outdoors and most adults are vaccinated now too. There’s pretty much zero risk to children from covid as well. I’m so sick of it all now.

It’s absolutely horrid to be glad about it because you personally don’t like them. I have no personal interest in football but it doesn’t mean I want to spoil it for those who do

@MargosKaftan Were there no drunk England fans gathering in groups in London? Or are you just angry at the Scottish for having a good time?

Children and their needs have been the lowest priority throughout.

This was clear last summer when the pubs opened but schools didn’t open to all years.

They have been thrown under the bus.

The double standard between the wealthy and the industries they care about and many public services that they're not relying on is frustrating.

The lack of support many schools are dealing with at an even higher level than pre-COVID, it's disheartening if not surprising some of the extras are being dropped inconsistently depending on what resources are available and what the local public health/council/trust are saying. It's draining on teachers and other staff members, it's draining on parents, it's hard that so little seems to be able to be done with the way things are.

Children may be lower risk Whyhello but they can still catch/transmit and the disruption is still very much there with classes having to self isolate with symptoms, tests etc. and some schools currently closed.

The schools are probably just desperate to have all their pupils actually able to stay in school for the next month as their priority and not have to do remote learning again.

Sadly, due to a government who keeps denying their is an issue and poor measures that are not helping reduce transmission, a more opened up world of younger unvaccinated people driving up cases and unfortunately, has driven the decision for the date moved to 19th July (which has been quoted by scientists that is thankfully close to end of term for most funnily enough, even though ‘schools are safe’ ) means that non-essential events that involve mixing from people externally, takes a hit in schools that aren’t able to put on safely (all schools are different-sizes, layout, infrastructure etc) because schools have to follow what they have been told to keep their existing pupils in school and not at home self isolating yet again.

I'm more angry now that my y6 sons transition days to his secondary have now been cancelled because of the guidelines. They couldn't look round like normal to choose a school and now the one thing helping his already extreme anxiety was the transition days.. now nothing. Yet crowds can go to pubs, football, cinemas etc. Starting to get annoyed!

@lavenderandwisteria

It’s absolutely horrid to be glad about it because you personally don’t like them. I have no personal interest in football but it doesn’t mean I want to spoil it for those who do

‘Horrid’ to be relieved temporarily that my own child doesn’t have to be upset because I haven’t been able to be at a non essential event just because I have to work?! What on Earth!?

Don’t worry, it’s only a few more months and some of us will be back to having to explain to our own children why we can’t be there. Suitable punishment I’m sure you’ll agree

@letsghostdance - ah, did you not see the Leicester Square 2 day party footage? Hundreds of Scots singing and dancing in the rain in a large group, packed in together from Thursday onwards. Doing congas up the street, in the fountains, turning the road into a slip and slide. While there might have been some breeches by England fans over 30 people, the big mass gathering was filmed for hours and it was presented and joyous fun. Which it was, but really obvious covid gathering breech and no attempt to break it up for hours.

If it was fine to just leave that, why are the theatres round the corner having to play to 1/4 audience, or end of year assemblies (including leavers assemblies) banned, even outside if its over 30 people? If its not fine to just leave it, why was no action taken?

I’ll have to do that myself chloe

I still think it’s horrid. It’s the equivalent of breaking a leg and being delighted when a match is rained out.

@Rhinothunder

I have taken it up with the school, but they said govt rules re covid and the council risk assessment of the venues with these rules in mind mean no spectators are allowed due to covid risk.

Also in response to some PP-
I'm not trying to compete with what's saddest about covid. That would be ridiculous. I also have missed funerals weddings etc and understand that there are also other issues in the world.

I'm also not here to persuade everyone that they should love attending school events.

Like the rest of the uk I've also spent a 18m getting on with these things not happening and understanding / not complaining .

What's different now is the fact that the risk is actually sod all for us to go. The kids are all already in bubbles and mixing daily. They then come home to the same family members. Yet we can't stand near each other outside to watch a brief but important moment in their childhood.

Meanwhile i can go on a tube with 60+ strangers, go to the pub in a big group, mix in the supermarket with randoms.

And even more galling is to see on TV the exceptions being made for 1000s of football fans politicians and celebrities- anyone with enough political clout or sway.

It's hypocritical and I can't help but get angry children are still bearing the brunt of restrictions.

Absolutely agree with this!

It's utter bullshit. Thousands of football fans congregating in Leicester Square? Fine! Outdoor dining (packed to the brim) in Soho? Go ahead! Stand in a field and watch your DC in a sack race? Oh No! How irresponsible.

@Baker90

I'm more angry now that my y6 sons transition days to his secondary have now been cancelled because of the guidelines. They couldn't look round like normal to choose a school and now the one thing helping his already extreme anxiety was the transition days.. now nothing. Yet crowds can go to pubs, football, cinemas etc. Starting to get annoyed!

Your poor DS. If it helps, at secondaries, the first day or two in Sept is usually only Year 7 in so they can meet teachers, tour the school, find out how and where to get lunch, toilets etc. without the ‘scary big children’. Then, often, an older pupil is assigned as a buddy to walk them to their lessons so they know where to go, and often for the first week or two, they have an earlier lunch so they can get used to it. I’d email his new school and explain his anxiety and ask them what their plan is for the start of term and also, put them him on their radar so al teachers know right from the start, that he may need extra support. Hope it goes well for him.

Just on transition days. Last years Yr 6 parents said our local secondary schools did a brilliant job last September- new Yr 7's had the school to themselves for a couple of days to acclimatise and lots of team building activities for fun and to let them get to know each other. One described as a very gentle beginning to secondary

Doesn't provide a lot of comfort I know, I gave a Yr 6 child myself - but their new teachers will know how hard it has been and will do their best to support them.

@Malteser71

Children were thrown under the bus throughout.

Exactly

Ascot was one of the test events, so needed a LFT and PCR test before attending and will need a further test 5 days after.

It’s the equivalent of breaking a leg and being delighted when a match is rained out.

It really isn’t.