Can someone help me sort my life out

[stuckinrutt]

Frequent poster just name changed as I need some advice on what to do with myself.

I'm stuck in a rut and miserable as hell, I'm 25 with two DC's 4&2 I work part time 30hours at the hospital in a admin role.

OH is early thirties he is a stay at home dad but also runs a small online reselling business on eBay, some months he can bring in a good large amount some months it could be low.

Our bills are fairly low however we have debt so all our money goes on paying debt off. I'm absolutely sick of being poor all the time everything I buy is always on clearpay/Klarna. We have about 3k in savings.

I want a better life for me and my family but I don't know what to do. How do I get out of this trap, it's either I work my arse of and take as much over time as possible and not see my family, but I also need to think about starting college this year I can't deal with being stuck in a dead end job with a low wage forever.

Sorry for rambling on I just don't know what to do I need some guidance.

We were friends with someone whose relation ended up the biggest seller of small toy trains on the ebay. He was totally minted!

Be ruthless with products, ensure the margins are there, get good at spotting trends, use other avenues to sell...

I'd take an interest in the business and get it going properly. There's some really interesting returned stock wholesale places, I'd definitely be looking there...

@Taliskerskye

30 hours between 2 people. Is this a joke. You’re in your twenties! This is when you can work hard (play) family hard.

Ha, you sure have changed your tune @Taliskerskye…

@WettyHainthrop
Well yes I have! Since I got the facts and I work self employed which isn’t 9-5 so I know that people are funny about jobs!! .

And I’m happy to stand corrected always

[quote Taliskerskye]@WettyHainthrop
Well yes I have! Since I got the facts and I work self employed which isn’t 9-5 so I know that people are funny about jobs!! .

And I’m happy to stand corrected always [/quote]
I didn’t know he was raking in up to £36k a year ‘flogging bits in eBay’ either when I commented. 🤷🏼‍♀️

If their bills are low, I’m not sure how they’re not saving more and clearing debt, in which case…

If the interest on the debt is higher than what you get in savings, pay off 3k of it. That's 23% of your debt, so quite a large dent. Or, £1.3k- 10%.

Take out the maximum maintenance loan and go to university.

Train for a well-paying professional job and let your DP be a SAHD to provide free childcare.

Once your kids are at school he can grow his business or work part time alongside his eBay business.

Keep your savings - everyone needs a rainy day fund.

Definitely stop using the likes of klarna to buy things. You are both mid twenties , can one of you not get an evening job in a pub or doing deliveries for a local takeaway. Plenty people with debt have to work two jobs to get it cleared

Op what are you buying in klarna etc ? Are you both still spending recklessly?

You both need to work. Maybe work around each other to avoid childcare costs, or claim help with childcare costs - you would get help on UC.
In the nicest possible way ,I think it's inevitable that you are in this situation when you've had kids so young. Generally people either get their career established then think about having kids and this is an awful lot easier than trying to move forward in your career whilst having two pre-schoolers. You will get there it's just harder.

What's your joint annual income?

Is your debt on credit cards and store cards? Get a low interest loan, and pay all the high interest accounts off.

Can dp get an evening or weekend job so he has regular income (slightly curious what he buys and sells to make £3k on ebay - that’s a good take home page).

budget planner

Use this budget planner to work out where your money is going, and make a budget going forward.

Head over to the money matters section. They have good advice. I agree with PP that you might have to look at your outgoings. Knock Klarna on the head for a bit. You can't afford it.

You will probably be wasting money on interest with your debt. You'd be better off paying it off with your savings

Absolutely this.

Paying off or reducing the debt will give you more "spare" money, OP, so you'll be able to save more, and when you need to buy something, you won't have to use Klarna and the like.

This stuff really should be taught in schools imo.

"This stuff really should be taught in schools imo."

It is around here.

Along with drug awareness and sex ed.

Doesn't seem to prevent debt, drug abuse or underage pregnancies.

There's something I've seen, around how to organise your finances, first things first is to work out your debts and which ones have the highest interest rates and pay this off first. Then start to save, have 3 months salary behind you, then it starts to talk about investments and pensions.

You may be better off paying down the debt so you pay less interest than keeping hold of savings.

Why are you in debt?

Consolidate debts with a loan or card for lower monthly payments?
Up your work week to 38 hours.
Look for promotion opportunities in nhs

Stop buying on credit

Theres always training courses in NHS on trust website. In house training wont cost and you will have time to do it

@Taliskerskye

How is making say, 24k a year on average flogging bits on eBay. People on mumsnet are strange. If he got a job in Tesco he would be earning less, and they would have to pay for childcare.

If he got a job in Tesco, he’d be paying his National Insurance stamp (of which he’ll need 35 years to qualify for the state pension) and would have access to their workplace pension scheme. If the OP is serious about improving her family’s long term prospects then they will need to consider issues like these.

No couple I know, let alone one with children, can survive on one part time wage and whatever an inconsistent second income brings in during any given month.

OP, your present household income isn’t enough to keep you out of debt, so you will never make ends meet unless one or both of you works more hours. It’s just reality. You can’t magic up significant amounts of money otherwise.

You only do 30 hours a week? Why don't you go full time? You're only earning 80% of your potential income and can probably clear that debt in a couple years

Get the debt cleared ASAP. Husband can pick up a weekend job for extra cash on top of reselling. I'd have a nosey at Dave Ramsey baby steps

If he’s bringing in that much through eBay why are you struggling and why isn’t it paying off the debt?

Working our arses off and not seeing our families is how most of survive. We don’t have the luxury of not working and choose to live within our means rather than creating debt and adding to it each month by buying things that we don’t need on klarna etc.

@MrsTulipTattsyrup
If he’s self employed he’s paying national insurance. Do you think self employed people don’t!

Pension is a different thing.