In thinking being a SAHM is work?

[morepizza]

Work is defined as:

noun
noun: work; plural noun: works; plural noun: the works
1 1. 
activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

I think this includes SAH parental duties. I know a lot of people don't agree with me. What else would it be called?

@DoctorSnortles

Whatever you do that isn’t lying on the sofa, eating toffees and reading trashy thrillers (or however you really like to spend your time) can end up feeling like work, because it’s not what you want to do, it’s what you have to do, whether it’s running a multinational, working at Sainsburys or trying to get Play-doh out of the carpet (or doing the first two and then having to do the latter when you get home) it all feels like hard work.

We all need more time lying on the sofa, eating toffees, in my view.

Absolutely!!!

SAHP is a lifestyle choice, not work. Looking after me and my kids is how I've chosen to live my life, I also work in a job which is paid employment.

You may think parents only benefit their families but you're wrong - we're part of a larger family. Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing.

How on earth is this relevant? Of course parents can contribute to wider society by raising decent human beings, but that has nothing to do with whether they SAH or WOH.

[quote mangojango]@Sweak it's not about being a doctor - it's about being a human being - a decent one. They don't just arrive - someone has to parent and provide for them.

Being a sahp is work and that is what this thread is about. I'm not saying one is harder than the other. For me sahparenting was harder because I didn't get financially compensated for it (obviously) and the bell rings constantly with small children - they are demanding.

We can argue until the cows come home whether one is harder than the other.

[/quote]
You don't need to be a SAHP to raise a decent human though, so what you're saying makes no sense.

[quote N0tJustY0ga]@Ylvamoon

Completely agree. In the world of work, that would be called a project manager. They’re usually paid even more.

So it is a full time job. Just because we don’t see the physical money, doesn’t mean what we do hasn’t got monetary value.[/quote]
Being a project manager involves a bit more than deciding what to cook for tea and booking a doctor's appointment.

On this definition everything is work. Inc drying my hair, eating my dinners, going to the loo, travelling. Most things require physical or mental effort to achieve something.

it's not about being a doctor - it's about being a human being - a decent one. They don't just arrive - someone has to parent and provide for them.

So decent human beings cannot be borne by working parents?

I’m surprised medical school stipulates that entrants must have had a SAHP during their childhood.

MN is illuminating at times.

Being a project manager involves a bit more than deciding what to cook for tea and booking a doctor's appointment.

And being a sahp involves more than cooking the tea and making appointments. This statement is just as silly as the suggestion being a sahp is like being a project manager.

Let's just stop bashing each other over the head now. This thread is getting out of hand.

No

How can any of this matter even remotely?

So very strange....

I can’t even figure out which poster made the Doctor comment.

Are they going to explain what I’m earth they meant by it?

What on earth

@PurpleDaisies

By that definition going to the gym is work.

Whether being a SAH parent is technically work or not isn’t that important. It’s absolutely a valuable use of time.

Probably why they call it a “workout”.

Project manager Really?

Not sure the entry requirements for medicine dictate there must have a parent not in employment.

[quote N0tJustY0ga]@morepizza

Yes it’s work. To hire a cleaner, nanny, cook & tutor would cost you money. So if you do all those things as a mother, it is providing services that would cost your family money.

Just because it does not bring physical money in (is a moot point) as it stops physical money being paid out. So therefore you might not be earning money, but your saving money.

So much that if it was not for your saving, your family could not afford to have their meals prepared. Or have chauffeurs to drive your children to & for school. Or cleaners to wash & dry their clothes & clean the house.[/quote]
How insulting to the many single parents who work - and indeed many other working parents - who do not have the money to hire a cleaner, gardener, nanny etc and do all of this themselves and work. Lots of parents alternate shifts so they use no childcare but still both have full time jobs. For goodness sake, what ignorance.

@Sweak

Being a project manager involves a bit more than deciding what to cook for tea and booking a doctor's appointment.

And being a sahp involves more than cooking the tea and making appointments. This statement is just as silly as the suggestion being a sahp is like being a project manager.

Let's just stop bashing each other over the head now. This thread is getting out of hand.

I was a SAHP until DS started school so I know what it involves. I wouldn't have dreamt of comparing myself to a project manager, it's ridiculous.

Your doctor's there because a parent somewhere did the right thing. They embody care.

You think only the children with a SAHP become doctors?? 🤣

So stopping work and being a SAHM is the "right thing"? Yet if I did that I'd probably be called a scrounger as I'd need to claim UC. I'd be told to get a job.

Waxonwaxoff0 yes it is a silly comparison to suggest sahp are like project managers, just like I said it was silly.

As you have been a sahp then you know it's more than cooking tea and making appointments so I'm not too sure why you wrote that.

@DrCoconut

So stopping work and being a SAHM is the "right thing"? Yet if I did that I'd probably be called a scrounger as I'd need to claim UC. I'd be told to get a job.

Only women who are financially supported by their husbands are allowed to be SAHMs didn't you know? A single SAHM on benefits is a lazy scrounger, but a married SAHM works much harder than her husband. According to MN.

@DrCoconut who actually said 'its the right thing' though?

Whether it's 'right' would vary on family circumstances and preferences. I don't recall anyone here saying it's always the right thing to do

You’re not getting paid by someone to carry out the work so isn’t work but it is hard work

Does this even make sense what I said ?

@Sweak

Waxonwaxoff0 yes it is a silly comparison to suggest sahp are like project managers, just like I said it was silly.

As you have been a sahp then you know it's more than cooking tea and making appointments so I'm not too sure why you wrote that.

Because I really didn't find being a SAHP difficult. Being a working parent is much harder. But then I am a single parent, so everything falls on me.

As you have been a sahp then you know it's more than cooking tea and making appointments so I'm not too sure why you wrote that.

There’s no big mystery as to what it is. The discernible difference is that SAHPs provide the child care during whatever you consider working hours to be, whereas WOHPs outsource it.