In thinking being a SAHM is work?

[morepizza]

Work is defined as:

noun
noun: work; plural noun: works; plural noun: the works
1 1. 
activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

I think this includes SAH parental duties. I know a lot of people don't agree with me. What else would it be called?

@Rosesareyellow really good point, well made.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea

I'm incredulous at all these working parents that just leave their babies at home alone while they go off to work. Do any of them survive?

WOTH parents insisting they do all the same things as SAHP are missing out the portion of the day where they pay someone else to look after their baby or toddler, feed them or change their nappy...because they are working somewhere else to their child. Neither option (imo)is right or wrong but they're not the same.
WOHP are not simultaneously (practically) looking after their child and representing a client in court or teaching a class full of children, performing heart surgery, or whatever their job is.

I think the reason why this topic gets such emotive responses is because a lot of women are looking after their children as well as having a "job".

Not a chance. Maybe back in the day, pre-modern appliances it was ‘work’ but now it’s not. It’s no hardship to do housework with washing machines, etc at your disposal. Being a SaHP is a luxury, and something that I’d deem to show lack of drive in the individual.

@TeddingtonTrashbag

SAHP is doing the same ‘work’ the WOTH 0parents also do (after their paid work) unless they pay for a cleaner/gardener etc that most WOTH parents don’t. Nice luxury to have -except that you will pay for your long holiday when the breadwinner prefers his co-worker and you divorce.

One for the bingo card then? Sahm = husband running off with his colleague

@Rosesareyellow

But what I would say is being a SAHM is hard , much harder than a 9-5

I think people who say this must never have done any kind of remotely demanding work before becoming a parent. I can imagine if whatever job you did before having kids involved just pissing about all day or not using your brain that you can then tell yourself that being a SAHP is really difficult and demanding - but there are plenty of jobs that are more physically and mentally exhausting than looking after your child and doing housework.

Says the person who doesn't look after offspring with additional needs...

I did a demanding job before DC. Then I had DC.... raising them is much more demanding by a long shot.

@pinuporc
Parenting is a lot more than changing nappies and cooking meals. This is only a small part of a child's life. Some SAHPs have in laws, friends etc to help and share the chores. Are you suggesting they aren't doing things properly too?

@SweetPetrichor

Not a chance. Maybe back in the day, pre-modern appliances it was ‘work’ but now it’s not. It’s no hardship to do housework with washing machines, etc at your disposal. Being a SaHP is a luxury, and something that I’d deem to show lack of drive in the individual.

50% of the babies in the nursery where I work have a sahm. Don’t pretend all SAHMs are run ragged doing childcare - many outsource it as soon as possible.

And how would you know that

@Pinuporc

* Ohsugarhoneyicetea

I'm incredulous at all these working parents that just leave their babies at home alone while they go off to work. Do any of them survive?

WOTH parents insisting they do all the same things as SAHP are missing out the portion of the day where they pay someone else to look after their baby or toddler, feed them or change their nappy...because they are working somewhere else to their child. Neither option (imo)is right or wrong but they're not the same.
WOHP are not simultaneously (practically) looking after their child and representing a client in court or teaching a class full of children, performing heart surgery, or whatever their job is.

That's only if you have a baby or toddler though. I have a school age child. So I'd say I do all the same things as a SAHP also with a school age child does, unless they are home educating.

@morepizza

50% of the babies in the nursery where I work have a sahm. Don’t pretend all SAHMs are run ragged doing childcare - many outsource it as soon as possible.

And how would you know that

I'm guessing because nursery parents talk? My son is at the preschool class at our nursery and most of the children have been in nursery together since they've been around a year or so, you get to know the parents over the years and what they do.

One of my close friends used nursery three days a week from about 9 months as a SAHM. I don't judge at all- if I could afford such a luxury I'd do exactly the same!

It is jolly hard work and anyone who thinks it isn't obviously hasn't done it!

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

A friend of mine has had to quit her job because they can't afford childcare for 2 children. Is that privileged

It’s a choice to have two and takes just a few minutes to work out if you can afford the expense or not. Not working is a choice they made so yes it’s a privilege I would say.

My two came out together. I asked if I could keep one inside for a few years but they said no.

@TankFlyBossW4lk

I think the reason why this topic gets such emotive responses is because a lot of women are looking after their children as well as having a "job".

They aren't looking after the children while they are at work. It's either family, nursery, nanny, childminder etc.

It’s also a real luxury to be able to dick around from home looking after children than the mental graft of a proper job

By 8 pm, with 3 small children talking/crying/whinging at me all day, I could barely put a sentence together - way harder than work!

It's not work ... it's parenting your children .
Work pays.

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

It's not work ... it's parenting your children . Work pays.

Jobs pay

I'm mainly here for the bingo.

Why has the thread turned from 'is it work' to 'what's hardest'...surely impossible to answer as what's hardest will vary based on your job, your children, your support network, your personality

Best to stop the competitive posts I think

@SweetPetrichor

Not a chance. Maybe back in the day, pre-modern appliances it was ‘work’ but now it’s not. It’s no hardship to do housework with washing machines, etc at your disposal. Being a SaHP is a luxury, and something that I’d deem to show lack of drive in the individual.

Lol. How can I get a nappy changing machine? A cuddle machine. Also a food making machine. Empathy machine. Ideal!

No it's not. How anyone could define looking after their own children as a job is beyond me. I don't go around saying I have 2 jobs, my role as a nurse and my role as a mother. I still look after my children as much as any parent who stays at home as I work shifts and a lot of nights so still there to do picks ups and drop offs, put them to bed, cook all their meals. And all the mothers I know personally put their children into nurseries/child care even the ones that don't work.

It's not a competition whether being a SAHP or going our to work and having children is more difficult. Who cares what it is called anyway, we all make our own choices to suit our individual circumstances.

Perhaps respect that rather than constantly slinging mud or comparing etc.

something that I’d deem to show lack of drive in the individual.

Get to fuck!

It is work. It isn't a job but there are plenty of worthwhile things that are not jobs. Ds's needs are such that I don't have the time or energy for a job. My physical and mental energy is taken up by looking after him and making sure he gets all the provision and services he needs.

@spanielstail

No it isn't work. It's a very privileged position to be in, to have a husband that can financially support the whole family so that you can stay home and bring up the children and have a lower stress way of life.

Except you realise lots of SAHP are SAHP because they can't afford to work and then get benefit top ups to help cover life? I can't afford full time childcare for two toddlers plus wrap around care for older DS. We might have been ok with one toddler and DS but right now we can't afford for us to both work. That's not privileged.

It’s hard work yes but terms like ‘Full time mummy’ under a job category annoy me!