Teen and end of year party

[Alainlechat]

Our 16 year old DD has been looking forward to her end of year party for ages. Due to the freedom day push back the date of this has been moved, to when we are away on holiday.

DD would rather miss out on the holiday and go to the party. DH and I feel she is too young to stay at home for a week, but really she will also miss out on our family holiday, which is the first one for a long time due to covid. The holiday is in the uk but looking at it it would be a 7 hour journey with 3 changes if she came back a day early say by train.

IABU to make her miss the party and come on the family holiday?

Just seen it involves going via London. FWIW the tube is very navigable so long as you can read and follow signs, and understand the difference between taking a line northbound or southbound.

The CityMapper app makes it idiot proof, but tube staff are also very helpful.

Just come home a day early - I can't see what the problem is.

Come home a day early. Maybe you can still see your friends. Do they work, is it a weekday so they couldn't see you - is that the problem?

Tell your DH that she's going hope a day early. It's a long journey but it's not difficult. I was navigating London alone by the time I was 14. There are apps for these sorts of things nowadays!

No need to cut your holiday short for a party that your DD could get to on her own 🤷🏼‍♀️

Going home**

YABU to make her miss the party if she's prepared to travel home for it independently. My 16-yr-old's school isn't doing a party of any sort but I would absolutely let her travel back for something like that if she had a friend she could go home with afterwards. They've missed most of the other rites of passage and perks associated with being in Y11 so I'd be encouraging her to take part in the one she'd been looking forward to.

Airport would have been a great suggestion in normal times we live right up the road to one.

So there are two other younger teens on the holiday so potentially they miss out on a days holiday.

I think the best solution would be for her to get the train back. She did work experience in London so I don't have any worries there and she could afford it using her birthday money.

Just got the distinct impression that DH would not be keen so I'm risking a fall out if I make that decision without him on board.

Why’s he worried about a sixteen year old getting the train?

I would say at 16 she's perfectly capable of getting the train back, unless she's incredibly immature. It's the only sensible option really.

What about stagecoach/megabus? Would be much cheaper than the train and possibly less changes though would likely take longer for your DD to get home.

Boohoo to your DH. Is he usually a domineering arse? Book it with your DD and present it as a fait accompli. Possibly on the actual day she's leaving to go home. Why should DD miss out because her father would throw a toddler temper tantrum?

I would come home a day early and see your friends on the way there instead. It's not as if it's in the middle of the holiday.

Perhaps you could bring her back if her dad objects, and let him take the train.

Why is DH seeing it as a problem?

She's 16, not 6. What's the big deal?

Is he the authoritarian type that thinks she should do as he says? It's a party and she's 16. She's not running away to join the circus.

Honestly at 16 I think it's up to her, as long as she can pay for it out of her savings or pocket money.

Can she fly from Exeter and have somebody collect her?

I suspect that this end of year party will be a massive deal for your dd, @Alainlechat, and after the year+ that kids have had, I wouldn't want to make her miss out on it.

Your Dh has said ‘you are determined to find a way to let her go’ - and I think that is absolutely right - I know he hasn’t said it in a positive way, but I firmly believe that finding a way for her to go is 100% the right thing for you to do - and your dd will really appreciate it.

You could leave a day early with her, and let your husband stay with the other two.
Get the coach or train together.
Do look at split ticket sites for the train.

If it's just one day I'd come home early and give the other kids a treat that night to make up for it.

Lots of threads on here recently with people saying they frequently leave a day early anyway!

You seem particularly worried about what DH would say. Why does he get the final say on this?

I think DH feels it's just too bad as it clashes with our holiday.

Megabus could be an option depending on what time the party starts. Thank you.

Fwiw I have no concerns about a 16 year old travelling cross country, and frankly that might well be what's going to happen.

Yeah because he has been so negative both times I've mentioned it. I'm always one to find a solution if I can but feel like I've been made to feel I'm ruining the holiday if I support DD in going

I would come back with her on the train early to help her get ready for the prom, leave the others to have an extra day, pack up and drive home.

Is it just a party or a prom?

So it's not a prom, it's a party. One of the school friends has a large garden and most of the year group is invited. They cancelled the prom due to covid. She was already staying at her friends who lives close by so no issue there.

I would def support your DD to get to the party somehow!

Why would you make her pay for the train??