People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

ODFOD
Some of us have immediate family all over the country and in other countries and funnily enough they would quite like to be at the wedding of their son/daughter. Don't even get me started on trying to work out who you may have to uninvite when the limit was 30. We only have immediate family and our very closest friends who are part of the bridal/groom parties. How do pick from those people and say you can't come anymore?
And as for "party later". Some of us have already arrange our "party" which is not huge or extravagant, three times, and paid for it whether we're having it or not. You think people can really arrange and pay for two events but only have one and take the hit?

This disproportionately affects ethnic minorities and people from abroad. Even before Lockdown most of my white British friends didn’t have more than 50-100 people at their wedding.

Having a wedding that size socially distance is much more possible than a Romany, Irish, Indian or Nigerian weddings where just immediate family may amount to a 100 people & social norms on hosting (and being a guest) also dictate who else gets invited.

Plus close family are more likely to live abroad. Additionally the ethnic minority wedding market is much, much bigger than the white-British market in the UK. Most venues, restaurants, pubs rely on their Asian weddings to make money and so if they aren’t able to get married then there will be fewer venues for all.

@Workyticket

I really hope nobody wasted a space at a 30 person wedding on some of you lot. Fuck me!

Registrars offices were SHUT for months - even if our very modest venue had been open we couldn't have got an appointment for our banns to be re-read

The registrars weren't doing ceremonies so even though Boris said you could get married - we absolutely couldn't!

This thread is vile - i hope all of you bitching about people wanting to celebrate turn down future wedding invitations

I wouldn't want you at mine

I know - People keep saying weddings were allowed 'except for a few weeks at the start'. That is not true. Weddings were not allowed again until August 2020 here. And then they stopped at the end of October until March 2021. Even then some registrars still weren't doing weddings.

Don't swear it @Workyticket there have been a lot of threads on here recently about weddings and it's apparent that Mumsnetters all hate weddings!

Yeah, so not the wedding people have planned. That is quite literally the point people are trying to make.

I didn't have the wedding I'd planned. It was upsetting. I get it. But I didn't go to the news and use OTT language about it.

@SofiaMichelle

The vast majority agree with OP, according to the vote.

But there's much more noise from those who disagree.

It says it all...

And you really think that's a good thing! What a lovely bunch you are, must be great to feel so superior and not have sympathy for people having a shit time.

I have a great deal of sympathy for couples who have had to change their wedding plans due to covid. Many have moved their dates several times already which must be very frustrating. Of course people can still get married and many have, but not everyone wants to scale down their plans and would rather wait until they can have the wedding they want.

@TheKeatingFive exactly
Mean spirited, nasty comments about people being upset they didn’t get something they’d invested time ,effort and money into
Whether it’s a wedding, a 50th birthday yadda yadda
People just hate those who can afford big weddings and those who actually have a lot of loved ones in their lives that they’d like to celebrate with. OP aside a lot of hate here...

"Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference"

@TooOldandTired
Thank you.

I think what the pandemic has shown is how well the SS would have thrived in the UK (with the number of people reporting neighbours to the police) and how lacking in empathy the country is.

Your last sentenced really resonated with me. There are some nasty, officious people about.

I hope people have nice weddings and if it doesn't go to plan then I feel sorry for them. I just think some of them need to put it into context of a global pandemic that is still killing people. I get their upset, I'm not saying they shouldn't be upset. Just try to look on as bright a side as they can.

Also now you’re policing what language people use when upset. Unless it’s someone personally complaining to you and making your life miserable/asking you to do something why do you care...?

@SofiaMichelle

The vast majority agree with OP, according to the vote.

But there's much more noise from those who disagree.

It says it all...

Yep, it truly does.

It says that, in the main, people that want to be shitty about others being upset about not getting the wedding they had planned want to do it anonymously.

But I didn't go to the news and use OTT language about it.

Presumably because it wasn’t newsworthy.

As the announcement has just been made and it affects people who’ve probably already rearranged and rejigged, this is.

HTH.

I have immense sympathy for those who have planned and paid for their weddings PRIOR to March 2020. After that date, you are simply being ridiculous. The same goes for holidays.

It was been impossible to ‘plan’ for anything since that date. They can’t even guarantee that children will be in school yet people are planning weddings. Why not wait? If it’s really the shame of TTC before marriage, everyone would understand you were unable to get married during a PANDEMIC.

@InnaBun

Yeah, so not the wedding people have planned. That is quite literally the point people are trying to make.

I didn't have the wedding I'd planned. It was upsetting. I get it. But I didn't go to the news and use OTT language about it.

Neither have I but seemingly we aren't allowed to be upset, rearrange it, or anything. We would have booked a reg office with no guests and got on with it, apparently.

I'm sick and tired of people who got their day telling me to suck it up.

In a way we are "lucky" our venue closed down but I'll never be grateful for the added stress.

@InnaBun

Yeah, so not the wedding people have planned. That is quite literally the point people are trying to make.

I didn't have the wedding I'd planned. It was upsetting. I get it. But I didn't go to the news and use OTT language about it.

So what? You felt one way, why are they not allowed to feel another way? You're certainly using this available platform to aid your views.

@InnaBun

I hope people have nice weddings and if it doesn't go to plan then I feel sorry for them. I just think some of them need to put it into context of a global pandemic that is still killing people. I get their upset, I'm not saying they shouldn't be upset. Just try to look on as bright a side as they can.

I think most DO put it into context however when you see the scenes from pubs when the football is on, or those fuckwits at the G7 having a lovely non-socially distanced, stand up drinks reception, people are feeling annoyed and frustrated, that the rules don't seem to make a lot of sense.

And it goes further, it's really not just about the couples getting married, it's about the people working in the industry. I don't know how some of them are expected to survive.

I feel a lot of sympathy for religious people, who won't live with each other till after they're married, and for whom getting married in a church with their community and family witnessing it is very much the point. I know I'm being snobby and judgemental in feeling less sympathy for people who wanted a big wedding for the look of the thing. But there we go.

Fuck off with your 'you're just bitter because you're not going to be a princess'.

I've had two reorganised weddings and hoping for a third and final one in the autumn.

Is it completely unreasonable that I'd like to have a day with all our friends and family? Like so many weddings we've been to and loved, maybe it's selfish that I want that but why would I compromise?

A day where we can hug and stand close to each other?

To have photos of our guests without them wearing masks?

As it is, it's likely half my family won't be able to attend because of travel restrictions. My best friend has already built a two week quarantine period into him attending because he's in Europe.

We haven't had an easy pandemic, my partner's industry has been destroyed, one grandparent is now ill, the other we haven't seen for nearly 2 years. A wedding isn't too much to ask!

I do think if being married is that important you’d just go to registry office. We did that with a couple of witnesses and intend to renew our vows in a few years with a big party.

@Annoymoususer

I thought weddings were about love and being with that special person forever, it wouldn't matter if you had 2 or 2 hundred at your wedding as long as you are saying your vows. And to be fair 30 people at the wedding doesn't sound unreasonable at all. Think of the money saved for having a smaller wedding in a more compact and romantic way. I've never been married and to be honest marriage doesn't appeal to me nor do weddings

If you've never wanted to get married or 'see the appeal' then you won't understand that people might be disappointed. We'd 75 at ours best day of my life, am in no way princessy bought Eur300 dress, and was a meaningful ceremony but with a great party after. Why bloody not & yeh I do feel sorry for people who were looking forward to seeing people & celebrating as well as get married. I get for some 20-30 people is their dream wedding & good for them but have bit of empathy for others. Is like the 'least you not dying' comments during covid peak used to drive me mad. People are allowed to be disappointed.

I agree OP.
I was looking forward to going to a wedding last April, but the couple saw what was coming and did a teeny tiny wedding in March via Zoom. Must have been one of the first in the country to do it that way. Yes it was a shame, but they've been able to enjoy 16 months of married life throughout a difficult period. I think it would have been bonkers to do anything else frankly. And if they want a celebration of marriage party (possibly with retaking of vows etc), then everyone would still come. That's for them to decide in the future. It's about the marriage not the wedding.
Could not agree with you more that it's rules on funerals that should be relaxed first.

@21Flora

I do think if being married is that important you’d just go to registry office. We did that with a couple of witnesses and intend to renew our vows in a few years with a big party.

Can you tell me how you'd do that when they literally wouldn't let us book in a ceremony or give notice?

I mean, I really want to know.

@21Flora

I do think if being married is that important you’d just go to registry office. We did that with a couple of witnesses and intend to renew our vows in a few years with a big party.

PEOPLE COULDNT JUST GO TO REGISTRY OFFICES. THEY WERE SHUT IN THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE COUNTRY

as you were

Yes @Ginseng1 it’s the total lack of empathy that’s startling.