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Original poster

People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

679 replies

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 15/06/2021 07:44

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 17/06/2021 11:14

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@khakiandcoral not aimed at me but, for me, I have no problems with peoples happiness, having a big party etc - I have a big wonderful family and love and knees up. For me, the wedding mindset a lot of people enter into represents the worst of society - utter wasting of money that could be spent much more wisely, buckets of environmental damage and waste, pressure and monetary expectations on guests, competitiveness and just total excess. I just hate the whole culture of it. I think I totally disillusioned by two friends marriages ending months after Them spending £20,000 plus on the day, me paying out for foreign hen dos, bridal showers, hotel stay on the big day, drinks, £100 minimum for a gift off the registry. It’s so much money! And I’m not a tight person I swear. Speaking with one of the girls who’s wedding I’m referring to and she is embarrassed that she fell into the trap. She can’t believe that it all even mattered to her when the relationship was not even strong to begin with. But I understand that is not the case for everyone.[/quote]
This is all very nice and moralistic but it's got nothing to do with couples being stressed and upset that their plans keep getting fucked over. Why are so many of you determined to derail the actual subject so you can get on a sanctimonious soapbox, at these couples' expense, about something else?

khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 11:14

Blueeyedgirl21

Fair enough.

Another way to see it is that weddings are one of the few excuses to gather people together, and yes, by definition this has a cost. People spending a lot of money on their weddings are not necessarily doing it for show, and not all guests are pressured into anything.

My wedding was a rather expensive affair, I am not sorry!
I cant' stand the concept of paid bar for a start, so we provided everything for the guests. I only invite the people I can afford to host.

I don't call an expensive wedding a waste any more than having a barbecue with 20 friends around. Life would be pretty grim if we stuck to basics only.

£100 minimum for a gift off the registry
now that's just rude. The whole point is to give a wide range of low to medium prices, and no expensive item.

CornishGem1975 · 17/06/2021 11:23

@JustLyra

I don’t get why there has to be such a race to the bottom.

FIL’s funeral was tiny and felt very impersonal because of the covid restrictions. It was horrible.

That doesn’t mean it’s not horrible that BIL’s wedding has had to be changed again for the fourth time.

It also doesn’t make him and SiL princesses that they’re gutted they can’t have all the family, or their friends, there with them.

Does it make the rest of us princesses for being gutted for them, and also gutted that we can’t be there?
Or just weird because we’d have liked to be there for a family occasion?

Makes you weird because you obviously have the ability to care about and empathise with other people's feelings. A rarity it seems!
FirewomanSam · 17/06/2021 11:44

This is all very nice and moralistic but it's got nothing to do with couples being stressed and upset that their plans keep getting fucked over. Why are so many of you determined to derail the actual subject so you can get on a sanctimonious soapbox, at these couples' expense, about something else?

This, this, this x 1000000

I find it very telling that I’ve listed about half a dozen reasons why my own Covid wedding situation had a real detrimental effect on my mental health and nobody has responded to that post at all, but people just keep posting to rant about social media and bridezillas and how that can be the only possible reason all these couples are getting upset.

notanotherusernameidea · 17/06/2021 11:46

Entirely agree with OP. Not a popular opinion but for me it's mine.

TheKeatingFive · 17/06/2021 11:48

nobody has responded to that post at all

That’s because they don’t have a answer. They just want to keep spouting their own biases without ever acknowledging the actual reality of it, which you articulated so clearly.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 17/06/2021 11:49

@FirewomanSam

This is all very nice and moralistic but it's got nothing to do with couples being stressed and upset that their plans keep getting fucked over. Why are so many of you determined to derail the actual subject so you can get on a sanctimonious soapbox, at these couples' expense, about something else?

This, this, this x 1000000

I find it very telling that I’ve listed about half a dozen reasons why my own Covid wedding situation had a real detrimental effect on my mental health and nobody has responded to that post at all, but people just keep posting to rant about social media and bridezillas and how that can be the only possible reason all these couples are getting upset.

Yep same reason why nobody has responded when we've said we literally couldn't get married because we couldn't book in with the register office. Because they're know they're wrong but won't admit it.
FirewomanSam · 17/06/2021 11:50

Amen, TheKeatingFive!

Sd352 · 17/06/2021 11:54

Also, are these the same people on MN that get stroppy because people have parties to celebrate their marriages (“fake weddings”) after getting married privately for any reason? I have seen so many threads criticising people for hosting a big wedding at alter when the couple has already got legally married prior to that.

FirewomanSam · 17/06/2021 11:55

Yep same reason why nobody has responded when we've said we literally couldn't get married because we couldn't book in with the register office.

Did you also have the world and his wife repeatedly telling you to ‘just get married, the marriage is what’s important’ while you were literally banned by law from getting married?! Because I did and I swear I had murderous thoughts!

FoxgloveSummers · 17/06/2021 11:56

@FirewomanSam

Will people please stop wanging on about Instagram as if white weddings didn't exist before social media?

And god forbid people might want to share photos of their wedding on social media at a time when half their friends and family won’t have been able to come!

But no, they’re right, all the stuff I listed on my post above is bollocks. All I really cared about is sharing a photo of myself in a big sparkly white dress #blessed

The irony of this thread for me is that I don’t even want bloody pictures of me on social media as it happens! No judgement on those who do it’s just not my thing. So god knows what my motivation for wanting more than the registrar at my wedding is. A mystery.
FoxgloveSummers · 17/06/2021 11:57

@FirewomanSam

Yep same reason why nobody has responded when we've said we literally couldn't get married because we couldn't book in with the register office.

Did you also have the world and his wife repeatedly telling you to ‘just get married, the marriage is what’s important’ while you were literally banned by law from getting married?! Because I did and I swear I had murderous thoughts!

The no weddings thing went on for a LONG TIME in high tier places, some people who didn’t have as many restrictions are just clueless. Several of my friends couldn’t even REGISTER THEIR BABIES for months last year so no weddings weren’t on.
FirewomanSam · 17/06/2021 12:13

FoxgloveSummers yup, and for every day that weddings couldn’t happen, there was a whole new batch of couples trying to rebook for when they could. We had to have a 10am wedding because it was the only slot available. Which was fine but not exactly what we’d planned!

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 17/06/2021 12:14

@FirewomanSam

Yep same reason why nobody has responded when we've said we literally couldn't get married because we couldn't book in with the register office.

Did you also have the world and his wife repeatedly telling you to ‘just get married, the marriage is what’s important’ while you were literally banned by law from getting married?! Because I did and I swear I had murderous thoughts!

We did! We tried and then though oh bollocks to this we'll wait. It wasn't worth the stress! I had murderous thoughts too.

All the people who said it have all had their own lovely weddings too which made it much much worse.

bunburyscucumbersandwich · 17/06/2021 12:16

Actually a marriage isn't as an important life event as a funeral. I lost my mum last year and we were limited to 30 people and no wake afterwards. That's far more damaging to mental health than a wedding, which in the grand scheme of things, can be done at any time. If you're desperate to get married, do it. You don't need hundreds of people there and spending thousands of pounds to make it a marriage. If you are desperate to get married you'd do it for yourselves, not for an audience.

whynotwhatknot · 17/06/2021 12:17

My dsis friend has had their wedding postponed four times now

no they cant just do it its a buffe style wedding which isnt allowed so its delayed once again till september

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 17/06/2021 12:17

@bunburyscucumbersandwich

Actually a marriage isn't as an important life event as a funeral. I lost my mum last year and we were limited to 30 people and no wake afterwards. That's far more damaging to mental health than a wedding, which in the grand scheme of things, can be done at any time. If you're desperate to get married, do it. You don't need hundreds of people there and spending thousands of pounds to make it a marriage. If you are desperate to get married you'd do it for yourselves, not for an audience.
Oh look someone else who's ignorant.

Not everyone feels the same about every event in life.

I'll refer you to the above comments about how WE LITERALLY COULDN'T GET MARRIED.

FirewomanSam · 17/06/2021 12:20

All the people who said it have all had their own lovely weddings too which made it much much worse.

Haha yep, both my sister and sister in law tried to say things like this to me and I know they meant well, but I was at both their weddings and can well remember holding their hands while they had breakdowns over favours not being right, flowers not turning up, and all the rest. And I don’t begrudge them that but yeah… being a Covid wedding couple is its whole own special kind of stress and I don’t think people who’ve had their own lovely weddings that they wanted can really get snotty with us if we get a tad upset!

DrSbaitso · 17/06/2021 12:26

My father and my brother both died before I got married and I would still have been upset if my wedding had been fucked around this way. If anything, it meant even more to me to have people there because I was conscious of who could never attend.

khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 12:33

Actually a marriage isn't as an important life event as a funeral.

maybe for you, but how sad. You shouldn't focus solely on the saddest parts. Relatives of the many couples unable to have a proper wedding might not be well enough or might know they won't be around when things finally happen.

CornishGem1975 · 17/06/2021 12:33

@bunburyscucumbersandwich

Actually a marriage isn't as an important life event as a funeral. I lost my mum last year and we were limited to 30 people and no wake afterwards. That's far more damaging to mental health than a wedding, which in the grand scheme of things, can be done at any time. If you're desperate to get married, do it. You don't need hundreds of people there and spending thousands of pounds to make it a marriage. If you are desperate to get married you'd do it for yourselves, not for an audience.
Of course, marriage is of equal importance as a life event.

By the same tack, you don't need to have a wake after a funeral to grieve. I'd also argue that you don't need hundreds of people at a funeral.

And yes, I have lost close family members recently too.

FoxgloveSummers · 17/06/2021 13:08

I have minded more the people telling us to wait til it’s over. Well, let me just pop that date in my diary - when is it again?

44to852 · 17/06/2021 13:13

This is why the UK. will never exit the cycle of lockdowns.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 17/06/2021 13:16

@44to852

This is why the UK. will never exit the cycle of lockdowns.
Because people want to get married?

Somehow I think that's a load of old shite.

khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 13:20

@44to852

This is why the UK. will never exit the cycle of lockdowns.
yes, that's why, that's exactly why. People wanting a wedding. They are the reason for the pandemic and the lockdowns.

It all makes sense. Hmm

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