People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

I'm all for "it's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage" but that doesnt mean not been able to have a wedding isnt upsetting. And having booked/rescheduled/cut down/rescheduled a wedding must be terrible.

Oops I'm fibbing. They got 30% back. And a better menu

@merlincat21

Yes and 60% say YANBU say we have one. Weddings can wait health cannot not are u really saying your wedding is more important than somebody else getting NHS treatment if so that is selfish to the core. Go down the registry office if you are that desperate have a renewal of vows in a couple of years if it this blows over? Live with it.

The registry offices that were closed and are now overrun with rearranging bookings?

Yes, because that’s so easy....

@silverspider05 you completely missed the point. Read it again. YOU’RE the one trying to one up people by saying you wasn’t allowed to hug your mother, so people can’t be upset about their weddings. That’s what I was pointing out.

@silverspider05 and yes, there are some things people will never be able to do again. Including weddings that people have saved for years for, paid money on that can’t be refunded and have to suck up restrictions that mean it won’t be half of what they planned for, not even close in some cases. I agree with you there.

My DH and I are from different continents. If we were getting married now, I would not be allowed to have any of my family (mom, dad, brothers, elderly grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) or close friends (including my best friend) at my wedding - a day to celebrate the start of my lifelong commitment to my partner. I feel for the people in this situation. No, it's not the end of the world, but a wedding is so important to some people!

YABU.

[quote Chailatteplease]@silverspider05 you completely missed the point. Read it again. YOU’RE the one trying to one up people by saying you wasn’t allowed to hug your mother, so people can’t be upset about their weddings. That’s what I was pointing out.[/quote]
Actually I'm not trying to one up anyone. Just implying that people need to have a bit of perspective. It's not just weddings that are affected. Did I say people can't be upset about their weddings? No. But there are lots of people in this situation, lots of people can't do anything about it either. You're not the only ones. Life is a bitch sometimes. Put your big girl knickers on and push through. We have all had to in some form or another.

It’s the show party and all the finery they want. Nothing to do with the vows.

I understand why people are upset but I also think it's important to put things in perspective. We had a Civil Partnership a few weeks ago. It was just us, our baby (as we registered him on the same day) and two witnesses. We literally just signed our names and that was it.

Christ this thread is mean spirited.

Weddings mean a lot to some people so they are allowed to be upset that covid has got in the way. Don't be such dicks.

@Tigger1895

It’s the show party and all the finery they want. Nothing to do with the vows.

They are part of it.

I put more importance to my marriage and wedding than I do to buying a car frankly, and celebrate accordingly.

Reducing a wedding to signing a couple of forms is grim. If you can't see that it's more than a contract, it's very sad.

I got married last Aug, had to wait a few months, it was in a registry office with 2 witnesses. We will have a celebration when all this is over. I also had my first baby during lockdown and I do feel sad sometimes that I missed out on all the NCT classes, pregnancy yoga, friends and family being able to meet my baby, etc but I also put into perspective that people have lost lives during this and I count my blessings

Yes. I did. And yes that would be absolutely shit. I’m sorry for your friend. Genuinely I’m not saying I wouldn’t have been absolutely gutted. Of course I would. What I’m saying is that I don’t think the OP is being unreasonable for being fed up with people complaining like it’s the end of their world. You CAN move on with your life without a party. Without even being married. Losing money is awful. Having to cancel a wedding is awful. They still have their fiancés though, their jobs, houses, health. Hopefully. It’s not a full stop on your life until you get married.
The OP pointed out that she feels way more sorry for those that can’t have funerals the way they want for their loved ones. I agree. I have so many friends who have lost loved ones in the last 18 months. My best friend’s father. My godmothers father who was like a grandfather to me. I couldn’t have even got to the funerals had I been able to attend. Neither of them have even had the funerals as such. They had a burial with immediate family as was allowed and will have memorial services when this is all over and everyone can celebrate their lives together. That is way more tragic and upsetting and life-arresting than your wedding being postponed.

They can’t have the special day they want. The day they might have been saving up for and planning for many years. That many people say is the best day of their lives. So yabu. Just because a big wedding isn’t important to you it doesn’t mean it isn’t to them.
I’m not bothered about going to nightclubs, doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad for people who want to go to them and can’t.
Yes it’s not the biggest problem the world is facing but they are still allowed to be sad about it. Misery is not a competition.

I totally agree OP. I got married in April with 14 at my wedding including myself and my husband.

Weddings are not banned they are just restricted.

The only thing I will say though is that by going ahead with our wedding (originally booked pre covid) as we had already paid in full they would not refund anything for the reduced service. They have 'given' us an evening reception next year but this doesn't make up for the costs and money we've lost. Unfortunatley we had a very bad experience with the venue owners and really do not feel comfortable going back there but they are refusing to return any money and it's a considerable amount to us.

Financially I understand people being upset as a lot are still having to pay huge amounts for a much simplified version of what they wanted.

Ultimatley though to us though, getting married was more important than any of the other stuff so if people don't want a reduced wedding they should move the date.

If actually being married is what is important to them, then none of that will matter.

@Ohyou

I totally agree OP. I got married in April with 14 at my wedding including myself and my husband.

Weddings are not banned they are just restricted.

The only thing I will say though is that by going ahead with our wedding (originally booked pre covid) as we had already paid in full they would not refund anything for the reduced service. They have 'given' us an evening reception next year but this doesn't make up for the costs and money we've lost. Unfortunatley we had a very bad experience with the venue owners and really do not feel comfortable going back there but they are refusing to return any money and it's a considerable amount to us.

Financially I understand people being upset as a lot are still having to pay huge amounts for a much simplified version of what they wanted.

Ultimatley though to us though, getting married was more important than any of the other stuff so if people don't want a reduced wedding they should move the date.

If actually being married is what is important to them, then none of that will matter.

You are lucky your wedding fell in a date that was allowed

Weddings were banned for a significant periods of time so it’s not just a case of being restricted for many

Weddings were banned for some parts but have been allowed again for ages not for the people that want to make their lifetime vows and have been for some time. It’s the whole big day that was restricted but that was a non essential as the vows are the only part needed.

I was in the same position and got married with 10 guests which wasn't as planned but the main thing for me in the end was getting married. I don't understand couples though who have planned big weddings since the start of the pandemic and are now complaining. They obviously had some kind of insight that it might not go as planned.

We ended up having a small ceremony, and once things are actually open again are thinking of hosting a party of sorts. We were fortunate that we hadn't made any deposits or booked anything when the pandemic began, I do feel for those who have either lost £££s or had time restraints on when they wanted to marry for various reasons. Anyone who booked anything from scratch since it started though was also going to be disappointed

@khakiandcoral

I pity the posters who are so bitter they have so much resentment against normal big weddings and gathering all your friends and family when you want to.

Life is short, there are not many occasion (or the budget) to see most people, especially together.

I feel so sorry for the ones who can't even comprehend why it matters. Being so lonely makes you bitter.

Wah wah, no one can watch me play dress up and wear a wedding dress.

This is why the UK. keeps having lockdowns after lockdowns, people can't grow up.

@44to852 take it you got married in a bin bag in a locked room then?

What's wrong with you!!!

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Weddings were banned for some parts but have been allowed again for ages not for the people that want to make their lifetime vows and have been for some time. It’s the whole big day that was restricted but that was a non essential as the vows are the only part needed.

How many times do you need to be told that in many places you couldn't just re book? We couldn't! They had to re arrange everyone's wedding from when they were banned, then they had everyone who was originally booked on the reg office and then all those booked into diff venues which were still closed and they don't have any extra rooms or registrar's you know? Then of course there was all the original bookings to consider as well.

You spout a lot of shite without actually having any consideration for the actual situation it's infuriating! So many of us have stated it wasn't as easy to just re book in but here you still are telling us us we don't care about our vows.

@Tigger1895

It’s the show party and all the finery they want. Nothing to do with the vows.

What was your wedding like?

Wah wah, no one can watch me play dress up and wear a wedding dress.

Oh, go fly a kite.

Oh fuck off.

The stress of postponing, replanning and downsizing my wedding while constantly checking the need to see whether weddings would be banned again (which has happened TWICE so all the people saying it only happened briefly for a few weeks at the start are talking out of their arses) gave me a mental breakdown and I’m not ashamed to admit that.

And no, it was not because I was sad that I wouldn’t have my ‘Instagram wedding’ or because I just wanted to be a sparkly princess for the day. We were happy to get married just the two of us if it came to that, but believe it or not, it actually isn’t that easy to replan and rebook a smaller wedding. We had to give notice again, which meant booking another notice appointment, which we couldn’t do until our council office reopened, and a whole bunch more admin that was extremely tense and anxiety-inducing to sort out. Not to mention the stress of having to uninvite everyone!

When I was going through it people like you kept telling me I could ‘just get married and have a big party later’ and I wanted to fucking slap them because no actually, I couldn’t, not if the register office didn’t have any slots, or I wasn’t able to give notice in time, or if weddings got banned again!

Have a fucking heart.