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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

679 replies

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 15/06/2021 07:44

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

OP posts:
khakiandcoral · 16/06/2021 19:52

Family reunions not being reserved to funerals.

Who on earth can manage to moan about that?!

TheKeatingFive · 16/06/2021 19:56

I just want both of our (large and scattered) families to be there.

You selfish, self-obsessed arsehole.

Wink
Margerine78 · 16/06/2021 20:03

@GuidoTheKillerPimp

*Have you ever considered it's because they want ALL their loved ones there and not have to pick between then all?*

I agree with @Getyourarseofffthequattro: I’m not a princess, I just want both of our (large and scattered) families to be there.

I would hate my large and scattered family to be together right now during a plague. I'd much rather they stayed at home (as I have) and we party when it's over.
WouldBeGood · 16/06/2021 20:05

“A plague” 😂😂

Whatamess582 · 16/06/2021 20:06

Yes….. I agree. Unless there is some time dependent reason like illness or….. religious person pregnant out of wedlock (which isn’t that burning IMO but is for them) and I’m sure there are other ‘good’ reasons I can’t think of right now…. then I can’t see why mental health needs to come into cancelling what is essentially a party. I am married and I wouldn’t have been that bothered had i had to postpone my marriage. I would have carried on living with my fiancé and continued our lives. I understand not everyone is like me and many put way more stock in the importance of a wedding but no OP… YANBU… it’s irritating. Covid 19 has buggered up a lot of things over the last 1.5yrs. Many have been absolutely heart rendering and tragic. Weddings are not one that I consider to be that important.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 16/06/2021 20:10

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.
Yes to this
khakiandcoral · 16/06/2021 20:12

RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.

How rude.

It says more about haters than about a bride-to-be.

My wedding day was an amazing day, I do feel sorry for everyone missing out. I wouldn't have had children before getting married either.

silverspider05 · 16/06/2021 20:16

I couldn't sit with or hug my own mum at my aunt's (her sister's) funeral. I was lucky I could even go. People need to get a grow a pair.

RestingStitchFace · 16/06/2021 20:17

Think you are being a bit unsympathetic tbh, Op.

30 is a tiny number when split between 2 families and sets of friends. People are not unreasonable for wanting to have all their friends and loved ones at their special day.

Workyticket · 16/06/2021 20:18

Why did you get married then @Whatamess582 ? You could have just stayed living together

44to852 · 16/06/2021 20:19

A wedding lasts 24 hours. Wedding planners don't sell marriages. If you NEED the spectacle of walking down the aisle to commence new phases in your collective lives then I don't think the pandemic measures are the things that should be worrying you.

Workyticket · 16/06/2021 20:26

@44to852

A wedding lasts 24 hours. Wedding planners don't sell marriages. If you NEED the spectacle of walking down the aisle to commence new phases in your collective lives then I don't think the pandemic measures are the things that should be worrying you.
Fuck me - I have no words
Posieandpip · 16/06/2021 20:29

I agree. If marriage is what you want, the marriage should be most important, not the day. Have a party later if need be!

Workyticket · 16/06/2021 20:44

Comprehension is obviously not the strong point of some posters

Some of us have had weddings booked since before Covid

Which means money is tied up in venues, contracts have been signed with venues

Registrars are fully booked for the foreseeable so 'just getting married' isn't an option

newnortherner111 · 16/06/2021 20:52

I agree with the sentiment of the OP. No-one likes to be messed about but a wedding can still take place, with a larger celebration later. I wonder if any research has ever been done to see if smaller weddings are correlated with a lower divorce rate than larger flashy ones.

I certainly feel that other than the thousands of people who have died who would be alive were it not for Mr Johnson's government and its world-leading incompetence, one of the saddest things has been people not being able to attend funerals. My mum could not go to one for someone known to her since aged 10, and two I have been unable to go to were for a parent of people I have known since primary school.

BeckyWithTheCurls · 16/06/2021 21:03

YANBU and this is from someone whose wedding (albeit a small one) was cancelled at the beginning of the first lockdown last year.

Went ahead and got married with a couple of witnesses and close family late last year.

Was beautiful and so glad we went ahead with our small ceremony.

bretta73 · 16/06/2021 21:03

Regardless of what government restrictions say, how many people would be itching to join say 150 fellow guests in an indoor venue and on a sweaty dance floor?

Chailatteplease · 16/06/2021 21:05

@silverspider05

I couldn't sit with or hug my own mum at my aunt's (her sister's) funeral. I was lucky I could even go. People need to get a grow a pair.
I couldn’t hug my children at their much loved grandmother’s funeral. Wasn’t even allowed in, had to wait outside. Your logic means you’re not allowed to be upset because you was in the church with your mother.

See how ridiculous that sounds?

merlincat21 · 16/06/2021 21:17

Yes and 60% say YANBU say we have one. Weddings can wait health cannot not are u really saying your wedding is more important than somebody else getting NHS treatment if so that is selfish to the core. Go down the registry office if you are that desperate have a renewal of vows in a couple of years if it this blows over? Live with it.

bruffin · 16/06/2021 21:39

@merlincat21

Yes and 60% say YANBU say we have one. Weddings can wait health cannot not are u really saying your wedding is more important than somebody else getting NHS treatment if so that is selfish to the core. Go down the registry office if you are that desperate have a renewal of vows in a couple of years if it this blows over? Live with it.
If you had bothered to read the thread you will know the registry offices have been closed.
Whatamess582 · 16/06/2021 21:41

@Workyticket I got married because I wanted to get married to my fiancé, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I wanted to declare that in front of god, and be married in the eyes of the law. Of course I understand wanting to get married I just don’t understand that not being able to get married the way you want to because of a pandemic is a reason to say things like the OP quoted. Essentially they are taking about a party. Not being able to have a party should not cause mental health problems. Had I been planning to get married during the pandemic and couldn’t… I imagine I would be really sad, but I don’t think I would be claiming I couldn’t move on with my life until I could invite more than 30 people to my wedding, have a band and dance inside.….. it’s OTT and melodramatic.

I got married in a registrars office with 6 witnesses and went to lunch with them. I was married.

Yes I then went on to have a big white wedding… which had I had to postpone I would have been gutted but I don’t think I would have been complaining I couldn’t move on with my life….Hmm.

silverspider05 · 16/06/2021 21:45

I think you are massively missing the point of my message; being of a wedding can be postponed, second weddings and renewing of wedding vows frequently happen, A DEATH AND A FUNERAL CANNOT BE DONE TWICE. Trying to one up me on your "well I wasn't even allowed in" is whilst very sad unfortunately what is happening in the world right now. In no way shape or form has that got anything to with someone being more entitled than another to be upset as you are trying to imply by your interpretation of my message. Don't be so vile. I am indicating that yeah things are shit right now but we all have to deal with it. There are things that are more important than others and some things we will never be able to do again. Including seeing loved ones. Perspective is needed.

Workyticket · 16/06/2021 21:48

[quote Whatamess582]@Workyticket I got married because I wanted to get married to my fiancé, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I wanted to declare that in front of god, and be married in the eyes of the law. Of course I understand wanting to get married I just don’t understand that not being able to get married the way you want to because of a pandemic is a reason to say things like the OP quoted. Essentially they are taking about a party. Not being able to have a party should not cause mental health problems. Had I been planning to get married during the pandemic and couldn’t… I imagine I would be really sad, but I don’t think I would be claiming I couldn’t move on with my life until I could invite more than 30 people to my wedding, have a band and dance inside.….. it’s OTT and melodramatic.

I got married in a registrars office with 6 witnesses and went to lunch with them. I was married.

Yes I then went on to have a big white wedding… which had I had to postpone I would have been gutted but I don’t think I would have been complaining I couldn’t move on with my life….Hmm.[/quote]
So you got everything you wanted

Imagine you'd paid for the big white wedding you had but only had 15 guests and couldn't dance etc.

And that the venue only returned 10% of what you'd paid out for the 100 guests because they had to charge a venue hire fee and employ waiting staff (because they couldn't break even opening up for just the 15 people)

Bit shit innit. Happened to my pal. They lost a bomb

silverspider05 · 16/06/2021 21:49

@silverspider05

I think you are massively missing the point of my message; being of a wedding can be postponed, second weddings and renewing of wedding vows frequently happen, A DEATH AND A FUNERAL CANNOT BE DONE TWICE. Trying to one up me on your "well I wasn't even allowed in" is whilst very sad unfortunately what is happening in the world right now. In no way shape or form has that got anything to with someone being more entitled than another to be upset as you are trying to imply by your interpretation of my message. Don't be so vile. I am indicating that yeah things are shit right now but we all have to deal with it. There are things that are more important than others and some things we will never be able to do again. Including seeing loved ones. Perspective is needed.
@Chailatteplease
khakiandcoral · 16/06/2021 21:51

I pity the posters who are so bitter they have so much resentment against normal big weddings and gathering all your friends and family when you want to.

Life is short, there are not many occasion (or the budget) to see most people, especially together.

I feel so sorry for the ones who can't even comprehend why it matters. Being so lonely makes you bitter.