People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

Ooo lots of nastiness on this thread. I’m a September bride and the venue, suppliers etc were booked over 2 years ago. It’s not as simple as just getting married and having a party later - what about all those deposits and if suppliers aren’t able to make a future date?

Surely this is mostly not about those unable to have their ideal wedding, but about those who had planned their ideal wedding and now cannot have it? It's one thing to be told, prior to planning, you can have no more than 30 guests. It's a totally different scenario to have planned a wedding for 100 guests from all over the UK & internationally, and then having to uninvite 70 of them (who might have already paid for accommodation and travel), possibly change the venue, change the catering, entertainment and everything else that comes with planning a wedding.

Absolutely @Alaimo

I've had dozens of messages saying "woop, the wedding is on"

When in reality I'm cutting people from our list again because 6 at a table = less tables

The venue can't cope with our 118 guests because they've not got the staff for table service - and can't recruit just for a 4 week period.

Also having to tell people there'll be no drinks reception, no dance floor...

It's shit.

We were due to get married last June when it still wasn't allowed and so moved to this June. My problem with Monday's developments is that we have to entirely restructure our wedding with just over a week to go. For instance, we're having our reception outside and had only ordered a few tables, thinking people would have more space to distance that way. We also only had arranged staff for a short drinks reception at the beginning.

Now everyone needs to be seated at a table the whole time they are eating and drinking, and served from there, which means a mad panic to source enough tables big enough that each person can be 1m apart. Also forking out for staff for the whole day or looking at spending a lot of the day serving people ourselves.

I get that things can't go ahead as normal but I'd rather the government had been cautious and put this new plan out there a few weeks ago so we could have started to plan then. We had always been quite conservative in our plan so it's a bit galling to have to scrap it and scrabble to make things work with just a week to go.

I actually agree with you. I’d have a quick ceremony at a registry office and a party later. Just marrying the man I love would be enough.

… that said reading some of these posts I understand more why it’s hard.

I'm team OP here. I have empathy for those that have had to arrange, than re-arrange, than re-arrange again their wedding (some at a cost), I have a cousin doing that currently and the whole family just want to see one another and have a lovely day, and I think the Gov are unfair letting sorts events happen but not weddings (no logic), but the woman OP refers to saying she can't start her life was OTT. What does she think happens after the wedding? It's just the same old.

I think in a pandemic there are worst things to worry about - businesses going under, people dying.

I think you’re being unfair. On the surface I can see why people judge but in reality it’s not as easy as
‘Just get married’.

Many people are in contracts with suppliers, meaning if they cancel or downsize they lose thousands - not an option for many couples who quite fairly saved for the wedding day they want.

We were supposed to marry March 2020 with 120 people from across the UK, had to cancel the week before. Airlines etc wernt as reasonable then and many friends. lost money on flights and hotels, we felt awful. We set a new date for November 2020 and went into lockdown the week before our second date - we married without my husbands family, groomsmen etc but with 25 of our close friends. It was incredible and we wouldn’t change it for the world. But was it stressful & gutting going through 9 months of unknown. There are also the suppliers - their mortgages and families depend on weddings of all sizes. If you’re a DJ and music has been banned for a year it must be awful.

I really feel for people going through it. They shouldn’t be sorry for wanting the day they want with their loved ones. Not many people have been forced to cancel their wedding due to circumstances outside of their control, it’s confusing, sad and unfair and often without notice because this government make decisions so last minute. Give them a break!

Well I have family scattered in 3 countries so fuck you. Can you not understand that people want to celebrate with their families? 100 or 30 people, people want to dance, drink, to share the joy of a very special unique moment in their lives. Women are not "princesses" for wanting to do that. And no, you can't get married legally now and have a party later, that's so fucking lame. Yay let's party because of this event from 3 years ago lol.

@Hurr8cane84

Well I have family scattered in 3 countries so fuck you. Can you not understand that people want to celebrate with their families? 100 or 30 people, people want to dance, drink, to share the joy of a very special unique moment in their lives. Women are not "princesses" for wanting to do that. And no, you can't get married legally now and have a party later, that's so fucking lame. Yay let's party because of this event from 3 years ago lol.

I think this is a bit harsh, I think the OP is just trying to say that given we're in a bit of a life and death situation there are other bigger things to worry about, and there's ways around it.

My sister got married in Australia with no family, just her and her husband and a witness. They then had a big family party about 6 months later as they had to save, my sister wore her massive wedding dress and it was wonderful. It didn't feel weird and the party very much felt like a celebration of the wedding even though it happened much later.

Of course its ideal to have all the family there but if the marriage itself is the important thing to you, that can still be done and the rest can follow - I think that's all the OP is saying.

My wedding has been postponed twice as both dates fell in the period of time that weddings were banned. A couple the first date my OH ‘s sister died, a month or so after the 2nd date OH’s mum was diagnosed with end stage terminal cancer very little likelihood she will make it to the 3rd date. The 3rd is based on availability we’d be happy with 30 people we’d be happy with a wedding. I don’t want empty chairs at the wedding where family members we’ve lost should be sitting. I am with others if I can meet with 35 of my guests in a pub/restaurant but sit on separate tables why can’t I do it at my wedding venue?

Well I’m one of those people. I’m up to 3rd go (October 2021) I was due to get married last November, then moved it to may 2021 last September. Originally it was planned way before COVID And we’re having a church wedding. My partner has a big family and close to them. We saved and planned for what we could afford made a list of our important family and friends. Comes to 70 (40 for him 30 me) the rest at the night do. So how do you split it 15 each when you factor in sisters n brothers and parents. If we got married as you suggested we’d be stood in a church with only parents. No hymns and limited service, to ensure we was out in 40mins top. I don’t want that, I want to take my vows before god and family and friends. I want them to look back and think what a great day we had. Your either bitter about marriage or you got what you wanted or haven’t had the opportunity to plan it. But yabu I don’t want to go to council building in the same office as citizens advice in a white dress that was bought in February 2019 when no one expected this. Maybe you need to think it through more.

Get a grip folks weddings are not that a priority given the new rising covid cases and the health of the population and the strain on the NHS preventing other treatments cancer for example. Folks just don,'t get it will never go back to pre-Covid so live with it, make the best of it given the restictions and stop moaning.

It's ok for everybody else who had the CHOICE to have the big/small wedding they wanted. Rude and nasty to judge when it's not you!

Just because MN tend to have some superior hatred against weddings, doesn't mean it's not a really shit situation for those who can't get married as they want.

YABU

They can't have their wedding. It sucks.

Folks just don,'t get it will never go back to pre-Covid so live with it, make the best of it given the restictions and stop moaning.

of course it will. Why wouldn't it, most people are already ignoring all restrictions anyway.

A wedding doesn’t make a marriage and those that think it does are sorely mistaken.

We had a 15 person wedding in tier 3 restrictions so could only have a ceremony. Not even ring exchanging was allowed. It cost us £8k because of the things we’d already paid for that we still needed (dress, suit, hair & makeup, venue hire, transport, photographer, first venue kept £1k of the money because they’re arseholes!)

For me, I’ve dreamed of my wedding since being a little girl. We went into tier 3 two weeks before my wedding which had already been postponed twice before. I couldn’t have any aunts and uncles there, I couldn’t have two of my bridesmaids, my one remaining bridesmaid couldn’t bring her 4 month old who is like family to us.

And the extra things like hen/stag, honeymoon etc were all cancelled.

You might find it annoying but it’s pretty disappointing for people who have planned and dreamed of the day. It’s going to take me a while to get over the loss of it! No one is comparing it to planning a funeral; why can’t people be disappointed? There have been so many losses this past year and a bit, for some people their loss has been their dream wedding.

If someone’s wedding was cancelled because of a fire at the venue, or another disaster would you be more sympathetic?

So no I don’t get annoyed at this, I get more annoyed when people decide how others should feel. 🙄

@csigeek

A wedding doesn’t make a marriage and those that think it does are sorely mistaken.

it doesn't mean weddings can't matter for some people.

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil

If it’s about being married you can do the marriage but then have a big old knees up when the restrictions go, you don’t have to do them at the same time.

It’s disappointing yes but it’s not worthy of being on the news to complain saying you’re being prevented from moving on with your life. I can’t see what not being married is stopping you from doing unless you’re desperate to hold hands with your partner in Saudi Arabia or want to be married before TTC but if that’s the case you can still get married and do the party bit after.

YABU.

Some of us have postponed twice and set a date we knew the elderly and vulnerable would be vaccinated by. Which was supposed to be the whole point of restrictions. Now that’s happened, the goal posts have changed. When everything’s been paid for, it’s not as simple as having a party at a later date.

This upcoming date is the first time I’ve been excited for it, I didn’t get my hopes up on previous postponements. Having my guests not be able to dance or socialise with each other has put a dampener on it, I’m disappointed and entitled to be.

@MrsGee20

We had a 15 person wedding in tier 3 restrictions so could only have a ceremony. Not even ring exchanging was allowed. It cost us £8k because of the things we’d already paid for that we still needed (dress, suit, hair & makeup, venue hire, transport, photographer, first venue kept £1k of the money because they’re arseholes!)

For me, I’ve dreamed of my wedding since being a little girl. We went into tier 3 two weeks before my wedding which had already been postponed twice before. I couldn’t have any aunts and uncles there, I couldn’t have two of my bridesmaids, my one remaining bridesmaid couldn’t bring her 4 month old who is like family to us.

And the extra things like hen/stag, honeymoon etc were all cancelled.

You might find it annoying but it’s pretty disappointing for people who have planned and dreamed of the day. It’s going to take me a while to get over the loss of it! No one is comparing it to planning a funeral; why can’t people be disappointed? There have been so many losses this past year and a bit, for some people their loss has been their dream wedding.

If someone’s wedding was cancelled because of a fire at the venue, or another disaster would you be more sympathetic?

So no I don’t get annoyed at this, I get more annoyed when people decide how others should feel. 🙄

Ditto. I’ve just had this on another thread. Someone calling me ‘entitled’ for being disappointed 🙄

Sorry you didn’t have the wedding you’d hoped for. I hope you get to celebrate with all those who were missing at some point

30 guests is nothing.
15 per person, that's at most 7 couples if you don't include children.

It's not fair and people missing out have very good reason to be upset they are missing out.

So bloody judgemental. And so easily annoyed. Why should it bother you if someone says they are sad about their wedding. Everyone is different. What is sad for me won't be sad for someone else. doesn't make it not hurtful for me in my world. And you can't make everyone feel the same. So let people be sad about what they want if they want to. You don't have to listen. You cant make everyone feel the same as you and if you let stuff like this wind you up, you must spend your life in constant state of anxiety.

What about all the wedding photograup their up th thphers, make up artists, musicians that have lost two years of income. Most of whom if they were self employed weren't supported till later in the pandemic.
People who have spent years building up their careers have had them all but ruined.

@merlincat21 nobody’s moaning at YOU
I’d understand if this post was about someone moaning to the OP about their cancelled wedding. But this is just a couple of news pieces from outlets known to start catfights to sell papers. So what’s with the judgement?
Anyway whoever it was being goady , they’ve won because we’re 18 pages in and still arguing. I’m going to unwatch this thread...

Have you ever considered it's because they want ALL their loved ones there and not have to pick between then all?

I agree with @Getyourarseofffthequattro: I’m not a princess, I just want both of our (large and scattered) families to be there.