People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

Why can't people just wait till its over

@Macncheeseballs

Why can't people just wait till its over

Which will be...... When exactly?

Wedding threads here really bring out the antisocial, misogynistic tendencies of many Mnetters.

YABU OP. My friend's dad died of Covid this year. She and her family have been grateful that he was able to be with them when they married and have beautiful photos and videos from their weddings to remind them of all their loved ones who have now died. I feel sorry for all those whose wedding plans have been disrupted and all those whose livelihoods depend on the wedding industry.

@Macncheeseballs

Why can't people just wait till its over

Of everyone waited till it was over, that would be some backlog of weddings to try and deal with. The people already booked in would have to work around the people that are booked in for the next 2+ years, and many would end up having to either delay for a significant length of time, or choose weekdays and/or off season dates.

It's not really that simple.

@Macncheeseballs

Why can't people just wait till its over

well they can but theres a price on that. For one theres every chance that some of those they wanted there will no longer be alive

@Saoirse82

Some of you people have no empathy! Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful and I really sympathise for those who have had their weddings cancel. Both DH and I come from large close families but its rare for us all to be together. Its nothing to do with being a 'princess' or an 'ista' wedding, its about celebrating your loved ones. I don't even like being the centre of attention but on my family weddings are a big deal for everyone. Id have been gutted being in their situation. Some people are so fucking negative on here!

Do you know what, yes then I don’t have empathy. People can get married next year if they want the big do, DH and I may have missed my chance to have a child of our own due to delayed fertility treatment. So while you’re having you’re finally having your delayed wedding, I will still be crying about not being able to conceive and no longer qualifying for NHS treatment (I.e can’t afford private) so excuse me if I’m negative. I really don’t care.

Of everyone waited till it was over, that would be some backlog of weddings to try and deal with. The people already booked in would have to work around the people that are booked in for the next 2+ years, and many would end up having to either delay for a significant length of time, or choose weekdays and/or off season dates.

It's not really that simple.

Exactly. The people affected are faced with really tricky choices at very short notice. Dramatically change your wedding plans at very short notice - shaving your guest list right down, changing from buffet service to table service, potentially with quite a significant financial loss - or postpone until an unknown point in the future. It’s not really about having a big white wedding versus a small intimate wedding. It’s about having to make really difficult choices - that could cost a lot of money - in a very short space of time.

I know people sneer at the idea of big weddings, and despite restrictions and multiple plans and date we did finally manage to get married so according to some on here we should be skipping around with joy.

BUT we couldn't have siblings, my husbands adult daughter, one of my now sister in laws or any of the family children present (a combination of numbers issues and inability to travel from other countries).

Our wedding was lovely but it wasn't what we wanted at all, as so so many people that were special to us were unable to come. We got round this by live streaming but it isn't the same. It's the first marriage for both of us (we didn't meet each other until our late 30s) so shoot us for wanting to do it in front of all the people that have supported us throughout the shit years of shit partners and heartbreak!! We wanted to celebrate and laugh and dance. 'Big Wedding' numbers were purely down to our ages and the fact that all our special people had partners and families that we didn't want to exclude

We couldn't enjoy the lead up to our wedding at all because it was a constant 'what will happen' and the need to rearrange (often at short notice), knowing you were damaging small businesses in the process. Insurance wouldn't pay out as it was due to a government act that we couldn't get married the first 3 times. Even on the wedding day we had to do hair and makeup outside as we weren't allowed inside.

No hen, no stag, no celebratory meals the night before, no hotel stays, dress fittings late at night before the next lockdown came into effect, no reception, face masks during the wedding, no hugging, few photos (and those that we had are littered with face masks and social distancing). No friends because the numbers restrictions made it impossible not to turn it into a political nightmare. And all the time feeling guilty for dating to have feelings about it 'because it's only a wedding'.

So frankly fuck all of you who are judging, having been able to have the wedding you want (whatever that may be) fuck you

*daring not dating

In recent years, it's become badge of honour to have the smallest / cheapest possible wedding ("we had beans on toast in a tent and everyone said it was the best wedding ever"), but not everyone wants that

There is a middle ground between cheap and joyless (yes they are whatever people on here say) and instagrammable bling. The majority of people getting married have one in that middle ground.

The vast majority of guests also enjoy those weddings - seeing family and friends, meeting new people, dancing, eating and drinking and doing it all in fancy clothes.

We eloped. We thought we were cool and sophisticated and maybe a bit edgy. We thought we would enjoy it, just the two of us. Not worrying about my mother or his parents. Instead we missed out. Eloping for us was the miserable option. We regret it now 16 years later and wish that we had had our friends and family (yes even my mother and his parents) to celebrate with us.

People don't marry thinking that it will end in divorce. They marry because they want to make a commitment to each other, make it in front of their loved ones and then celebrate the hell out of that commitment with said friends and family.

I feel nothing but sympathy for those who have had their weddings postponed several times. I also feel sympathy for other people who have been affected by this pandemic. I don't need to feel less for one group in order to feel for another.

@SallyCinnabon, I am so sorry. The people I feel the most for during this whole shit pandemic are those who were up against a ticking clock to have a child and who lost an entire year and may have lost the chance to have a child forever. I simply cannot imagine that level of pain.

Do you know what, yes then I don’t have empathy. People can get married next year if they want the big do, DH and I may have missed my chance to have a child of our own due to delayed fertility treatment. So while you’re having you’re finally having your delayed wedding, I will still be crying about not being able to conceive and no longer qualifying for NHS treatment (I.e can’t afford private) so excuse me if I’m negative. I really don’t care.

That's very sad and I do feel for you. But surely you understand that other people's problems are different to your own, and you don't have to compete about who's allowed to be upset about theirs.

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.

I agree, those wanting to be married have just done so.

I wouldn’t want to get married if my partner postponed to have the big day rather than make their vows with me.

agree, those wanting to be married have just done so

Bulllllllshiiiiiiiit.

Again, my wedding was cancelled twice neither time by me. We couldnt "just book the reg office" either.

Sick of this condescending fucking bollocks coming from people who just enjoy being nasty to others.

@FoxgloveSummers

I really hope you get your day *@Lemonyfuckit* and my condolences for the loss of your dad.

Some people really don’t get that fun, nice times are part of the circle of life that helps people through hard times. (I swear my granny lived an extra year because she was soooo determined not to miss a specific wedding...) These landmarks matter, the joy matters, people you know meeting each other matters, little children dancing up front matters, speeches matter, gatherings matter.

Of course I want to marry my partner, but I want to marry with our families and friends like people have for aeons. It’s not us that are weird...

Thank you @FoxgloveSummers.

And completely agree with your post - in the midst of all the horrible year we've all had, it's not shallow to want something to celebrate, and be able to have all your favourite people there to celebrate with you and in whatever way you had planned and hoped for. This stuff matters, it's important. So fingers crossed for everyone....

last year the lockdown lovers were banging on about who those sad people who just want to go the pub and get pissed

now the pubs are open they can turn their criticism to people who want to get married

some people seem to take a perverse joy in sucking the joy out of everyone else's life

@SallyCinnabon I am so sorry about what's happened to you. I've been through the infertility journey too, and even in better circumstances it's a horribly painful, emotional rollercoaster. My heart goes out to you and everyone who is in such a sad predicament because of the handling of this pandemic.

This sort of thing is where a little empathy wouldn't come amiss. There is no comparing this sort of situation with a postponed wedding. And yes, FWIW, I've been through both experiences, albeit the postponed wedding was for different reasons.

It’s easy to say that it’s not worth getting upset over if it hasn’t happened to you! Our wedding had to be cancelled with only 16 days to go during the first lockdown... we had planned and paid for it all in full before covid even existed, so yes it was very upsetting at the time.

I do agree though that it shouldn’t stop you from moving on with your life- we decided to just leave it for now and try again when all restrictions are gone (haven’t even booked a new date) and are having a baby first instead!

I have empathy with those who are sad and disappointed. It must be gutting and frustrating, even more so if you’ve lost lots of money. :( It’s the small but vocal minority in the media who are giving people a bad name. The hyperbole from some is embarrassing.

@SallyCinnabon not shit because of the amount of people. I only want a fairly small wedding myself. Shit because of the restrictions and having to be so careful to follow rules and not dance, drink or breathe in the wrong way.

Less than 24 hours after telling couples they can't have a standing drinks reception indoors or outdoors... our glorious leader held a standing drinks reception.

Oh and Royal Ascot - thousands of pissed peoole dancing, drinking, singing... so aye op, I'll complain about wedding restrictions till I'm blue in the face.

Yes in the grand scheme of things, not being able to have a big party is nothing, and it can get a bit irritating hearing people go on like it's the end of the world.

But I also appreciate that for those who have paid a lot of money for their wedding, who may have booked before the pandemic or had to rearrange since it hit, not getting the wedding you've been planning must be gutting.

@SallyCinnabon that's really sad and shit but I also know people who have died of cancer because their treatments have been delayed due to the pandemic.
Race to the bottom helps no one...

It’s shit and people have had enough. They have a right to be sad about things that others might not find important.