People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

Oh get a grip. Of course people are disappointed! My sister has already postponed once, and now my dm is terminally ill and she's got to have a wedding (in an expensive venue that they've saved to have the wedding of their dreams at) that just won't be the day they wanted. Everyone sat at tables of six, no mingling, no dancing, in fact all the fun stuff is banned. So of course she's moaning! Especially as large scale events are happening with crowds as long as they've had a negative LFT.

I don't agree. Why can't people be sad, this pandemic been going on a year and a half and people miss having choices and everyone is entitled to admit they miss something or are missing out on something they always dreamed off. Last year i didn't have too much sympathy but this has gone on so long people want their lifes back and I can't say I blame them. They have planned this for a long time and they have my upmost sympathy.

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.

Quite!

YABU! very unreasonable.

Having had 3 people close to me pass away since March (none from covid, and 2 of them extremely young and unexpected), I am incredibly grateful that I was able to share happy times with them including at my own wedding. A big celebration with family and friends isnt about
being princessy. it's about involving those you care about in your life events.

Larger events may not be for everyone and that is fine. But some people have large families or lots of friends they want to involve. also depending on your cultural background there may be various traditions and rituals that involve extended family members.

Also - there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a big dress, fancy venue etc. Why is this frowned upon? Clearly there are some people who go total bridezilla and ignore the needs/comfort of those around them but I dont think this is the norm.

There seems to be some people on mumsnet who are just against pretty much all celebrations:

• baby showers = tacky
• large birthday partys for babies/children = pointless/showing off
• any kind of birthday event for adults = attention seeking
• weddings (with more than a handful of people) = attention seeking/showing off

Maybe for these people, funerals are the only acceptable event.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I cannot feel sympathy at all. Can’t move on with her life? Please. I was about to have fertility investigations prior to COVID and all that has been on hold. I’ve technically lost 18 months of possible treatment and I’m at an age where treatment on the NHS is becoming more and more unlikely.

So sorry but someone moaning they can only have a wedding with 30 people and not their big ‘show’ are ridiculous. It should be about your love for your partner not a big Insta worthy event

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.

Yep

YABVU

When you spent that amount of money you want what's your money is buying, and we are not having a big fat wedding.
Also after months of being apart, you want to be able to enjoy fully. I know of some covid wedding and it was saaaaaad. No dancing, no mixing with long time no see family - that's what wedding are for.

We have already had to postpone several times so we have had our fair share of concession.

In our particular situation, wedding was planned abroad in my home village, we thought let's get married now and party later, except that my parents can't even come.

Of course it's not comparable to funerals. I have not be able to go to one of my grandparents' funerals (who died from Covid) because of travel restrictions so I know both cases.

Well isn't this an emotive thread. Princess-for-a-day vs. soul-sucking Maleficent - is this a mainstay of weddings? It's becoming very much like breast vs. bottle or SAHM vs. WOHM: a treadmill to nowhere.

Agreed. There’s a healthy dose of misogyny in some of these posts as well.

I totally see why people affected are upset and disappointed. Quite apart from anything, don’t people now have to make a very short notice decision between having a very different wedding to the one they planned on the date they originally intended, or postponing their wedding (possibly indefinitely because demand is now so high)? And presumably there will be financial consequences to whatever choice they make.

I think it’s very easy to be dismissive about something when it doesn’t affect you.

@SallyCinnabon

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I cannot feel sympathy at all. Can’t move on with her life? Please. I was about to have fertility investigations prior to COVID and all that has been on hold. I’ve technically lost 18 months of possible treatment and I’m at an age where treatment on the NHS is becoming more and more unlikely.

So sorry but someone moaning they can only have a wedding with 30 people and not their big ‘show’ are ridiculous. It should be about your love for your partner not a big Insta worthy event

What is it with the nasty digs?

I barely use Instagram and yet I want my family and friends there.

Im sick of people belittling it.

Did you have the wedding you wanted?

@Getyourarseofffthequattro if not being able to get married was giving you mental health issues, would you not have a simple ceremony as soon as you could. If my DC was suffering MH because they couldn't get married that is what I would be suggesting to them, even if it meant I couldn't go. A big celebration is not worth ruining your health over.

I've just come back from a wedding . Reception . Venue disregarded all COVID restrictions. Tables of 8 , no masks , SD . Lots of mingling & hugging . Bride had invited extra 20 ( plus ) for evening who were supposed to stay outside , they didn't . Potential super spreader event . How many venues will actually approach guests at a reception & tell them to sit back down or replace their mask I wonder ?

@SallyCinnabon

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I cannot feel sympathy at all. Can’t move on with her life? Please. I was about to have fertility investigations prior to COVID and all that has been on hold. I’ve technically lost 18 months of possible treatment and I’m at an age where treatment on the NHS is becoming more and more unlikely.

So sorry but someone moaning they can only have a wedding with 30 people and not their big ‘show’ are ridiculous. It should be about your love for your partner not a big Insta worthy event

I agree that particular phrasing is insulting. There are so many people waiting for surgery to help them move on with life, or even just stop their life from ending.

"Maybe for these people, funerals are the only acceptable event."

@breedershock this made me laugh, reminds me of the book Cold Comfort Farm where the family are only allowed to leave the farm for "funerals or the churching of women". Maybe Aunt Ada Doom is on MN.

[quote ineedaholidaynow]@Getyourarseofffthequattro if not being able to get married was giving you mental health issues, would you not have a simple ceremony as soon as you could. If my DC was suffering MH because they couldn't get married that is what I would be suggesting to them, even if it meant I couldn't go. A big celebration is not worth ruining your health over.[/quote]
I don't know because I'm not in that situation. And even if I wanted to, I couldn't have got married last year it was just not possible. It's naive to say oh you'd just do it. You literally couldn't here.

Of course yabu, who wants to have a shit COVID restricted wedding!? I don’t want to go to a COVID restricted wedding even as a guest!

@FoxgloveSummers

"Maybe for these people, funerals are the only acceptable event."

@breedershock this made me laugh, reminds me of the book Cold Comfort Farm where the family are only allowed to leave the farm for "funerals or the churching of women". Maybe Aunt Ada Doom is on MN.

Oh, she is, I'm sure. What do you think she saw in the woodshed? A wedding planner?

I agree that particular phrasing is insulting. There are so many people waiting for surgery to help them move on with life, or even just stop their life from ending.

Yes @JewelGarden that’s exactly it and I haven’t missed about my situation to anyone (except to DH and on here just) because there are so many people in a worse situation, awaiting life changing surgeries…

Moaned*

Of course yabu, who wants to have a shit COVID restricted wedding!? I don’t want to go to a COVID restricted wedding even as a guest!

Why? Why is it shit? It might not be what was planned, but hardly shit. I went to a wedding that was just immediate family and it was beautiful and intimate and just for them/the people that matter. One of the best weddings I’ve been to. I get some people want a big showy event and to be centre of attention for a day but not having that I’d hardly shit (also, there are people who have been awaiting cancer treatment so… priorities)

I am a wedding photographer, since June 2020 I have photographed quite a few small weddings, so they weren’t banned except for exceptional circumstances. In fact quite a few of my couples brought their date forward so that they didn’t need to invite loads of people. I think it depends on whether you want to just be married or if you want the big white wedding. But they’ve certainly continued since last June.

And for what it’s worth, the weddings were small, intimate and actually really really lovely

To all the people saying it depends what your priorities are, whether you want to get married or have a wedding (the implication being that you're shallow for wanting the latter) well excuse me for wanting both. Excuse me for wanting the day we have been planning and saving for for two years, the day we had planned with all our loved ones (who we haven't seen for over a year) there together sharing the day with us. The day that we had planned and chosen just like everyone else who got married pre Covid were able to do, with a meal and music and dancing and maybe 100 guests, or whatever they wanted. Like everyone I have had a monumentally shit year (this past year and a bit has been so awful for so many different people in many different ways). For DP and me it won't in any case ever be the day we really dreamed of as the absolutely shittest part of the monumentally shit year is that my DF passed away three weeks ago and so the thought of him not being there is so so upsetting. But I'm not being shallow at all and only wanting some sort of crass over the top insta wedding instead of a marriage, for hoping and hoping that by the time our wedding date comes later this year, we actually can go ahead with all of the things we had planned, some unrestricted, unregulated fun.

Some of you people have no empathy! Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful and I really sympathise for those who have had their weddings cancel. Both DH and I come from large close families but its rare for us all to be together. Its nothing to do with being a 'princess' or an 'ista' wedding, its about celebrating your loved ones. I don't even like being the centre of attention but on my family weddings are a big deal for everyone. Id have been gutted being in their situation. Some people are so fucking negative on here!

I really hope you get your day @Lemonyfuckit and my condolences for the loss of your dad.

Some people really don’t get that fun, nice times are part of the circle of life that helps people through hard times. (I swear my granny lived an extra year because she was soooo determined not to miss a specific wedding...) These landmarks matter, the joy matters, people you know meeting each other matters, little children dancing up front matters, speeches matter, gatherings matter.

Of course I want to marry my partner, but I want to marry with our families and friends like people have for aeons. It’s not us that are weird...

. I think it depends on whether you want to just be married or if you want the big white wedding there a whole range between just getting married with a quick visit to the registry office and spending tens of thousands on an Insta-ready wedding in a castle. Not everyone who wants a wedding is ambivalent about a marriage