People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

Again because nobody is lisening

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache In most areas, they were shut March-July, Nov-March.

It can be upsetting, as others have said, because 30 might not accommodate all a couple's close family.

People should have not counted on the limit going up, though - we haven't for daughter's bat mitzvah in a few weeks (which it looks like will remain at 30 ). We told some guests we hope to have them, but it will depend on rules, but I kind of assumed it would be 30 - I briefly had hopes of full list (60) about 6 weeks ago, but when Delta variant became apparent I revised that back down.

On mn if you want more than watery quiche and limp salad in your village hall with a bit of bunting then you're a bridezilla. It's not selfish or unreasonable to want to have your friends and family with you on your wedding day and to be able to mingle and dance. This site is so miserable sometimes.

Jesus wept, there’s some miserable, neggy fun sponges on this thread. Imagine looking down on someone because they wanted a big party after their wedding ceremony to celebrate with everyone they love? Imagine! The absolute bitches. And it has to be bitches, a derogatory female name, because of the unabashed sexism on this thread. Men who want a big party are apparently fine, it’s just women who get called names.

Also, how dare someone be sad about their own misfortunes because elsewhere, someone has died.

I wonder where I fall in the ‘MN hates brides’ scale, as I had a fuck-off festival for my wedding. Three days of music, food and partying. Only I made my own favours and my own wedding cakes and my dress cost under £500. It was brilliant and we loved it. I think anyone who doesn’t get the day they’d like, regardless of what that entails, has every right to be sad.

@Onairjunkie I don’t think that having a different opinion about what I’d want personally for a wedding and thinking getting into crippling debt for one makes me a bitch!!

Lucky you that what sounds like hundreds of people were able to take three days off work for your wedding! It sounds really fun.

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@Onairjunkie I don’t think that having a different opinion about what I’d want personally for a wedding and thinking getting into crippling debt for one makes me a bitch!!

Lucky you that what sounds like hundreds of people were able to take three days off work for your wedding! It sounds really fun.[/quote]
I didn’t call people who want small weddings bitches?

I was being sarcastic about those criticising those of us who chose to have/want big weddings, and in turn referring to the general MN scorn towards the ‘princesses’ who want anything more than a registry office job with no party.

It was over a bank holiday weekend and it was fun, thanks.

@Onairjunkie my own family wouldn’t be able to come on a bank hol weekend. This is one of the reasons I am aiming to have a tiny wedding if it happens one day. Most of my family and friends work in emergency medical and cannot book weekends etc off unless it’s a real emergency. Then most of my friends are teachers so can’t do week days either ! It’s a mare

I see where the confusion in my tone lay @Blueeyedgirl21

Imagine looking down on someone because they wanted a big party after their wedding ceremony to celebrate with everyone they love? Imagine! The absolute bitches.

The ‘absolute bitches’ was tongue in cheek and sarcastically referring to us apparent ‘princesses’. HTH.

Just read an article on the bbc website which says that the 30 people limit will be lifted. So it won’t just be 30 people but it will depend on the venue and capacity with regards to social distancing

@cadburyegg I saw that too I assumed weddings will have no number limit but each venue will have its own risk assessment with masks etc so will be like when you’re in a restaurant and you have to wear a mask to move around

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@Onairjunkie my own family wouldn’t be able to come on a bank hol weekend. This is one of the reasons I am aiming to have a tiny wedding if it happens one day. Most of my family and friends work in emergency medical and cannot book weekends etc off unless it’s a real emergency. Then most of my friends are teachers so can’t do week days either ! It’s a mare[/quote]
Well, I hope you get the exact day you wish to have. Just as anyone should be able to, be it large or small, and be they man, woman etc…

I just don’t understand the scorn towards people who want a big party, rather than a little one. It’s hardly a new idea created by Instagram is it?

My friends brother was due to get married in the first lockdown and has had to rearrange twice. I do feel for them and others who have had to rearrange multiple times, constantly dealing with changing dates and government deadlines/restrictions. It must have been a constant hassle.
It is an element of life that has been limited by the lockdown and I don't see why people can't find a bit of empathy for that situation, I don't see why they are being judged as "shallow" for wanting more than 30 guests, it's not exactly a lot. Some people have massive families and would find it hard to whittle it down. At a minimum everyone has had severe restrictions put on their lives through this pandemic , with others having been through much worse. I don't know why you would limit your sympathy for just certain situations, we have all been through this, and should just support each other rather than being divisive FFS.

Some cultures have huge weddings because it's seen as stingy, miserly, ungrateful and joyless not to be hospitable and celebratory towards as many people as possible when having a wedding. It implies you're not actually happy about marrying.

I'm not saying that's the right way to look at it. I'm just saying that once you start moralising about the size of a guest list, the door swings both ways.

The rules are stupid though.

More people than allowed have been able to go to wedding fairs. Many strangers in rooms in close contact, they won't be 2m apart and some won't even be wearing masks properly.

Yet a wedding has a reduced number of people who mostly hang out together, can't drink, can't hug, can't dance, can't sing etc.

But the wedding fair is OK.

Come on? A wedding without dancing or singing? Masks between tables and no hugs outside of bubbles . I completely understand why people feel sad about it and don't feel like they can do it properly.

@Mrgrinch no one says you can't get married! You just can't have a huge wedding!

I had a wedding without singing or dancing, as we didn't have an evening reception, just the ceremony and a meal. So those bits aren't necessary, but I can understand masks and no hugging being hard. I do feel for people who are having to rearrange their wedding or not having what they originally planned, but I do feel that if people are saying they can't move on with their life until they are married could have a simple ceremony now, and then have a big celebration later.

One of my favourite weddings, was one where the bride and groom did the legal bit at the registry office in the morning with just witnesses, then a massive party in a field afterwards. They did their own vows in front of the guests and then danced and ate into the night, with many people then camping in the field.

I have always felt the most important bit about a wedding is the vows, but actually didn't feel as if we had missed anything by not being at the registry office. Their own vows in front of the guests were so special, and then there was no faff with signing the register etc. No formal photos either, so very very relaxed.

So people could do something like that, when restrictions are finally lifted. Guests will be a lot more understanding after a pandemic that the legal bit has already been done.

I agree, but I think big weddings are an absurd spectacle and a ridiculous waste of money at the best of times.

@CaptainThe95thRifles

I agree, but I think big weddings are an absurd spectacle and a ridiculous waste of money at the best of times.

Then you don't need to have one.

@CaptainThe95thRifles

I agree, but I think big weddings are an absurd spectacle and a ridiculous waste of money at the best of times.

Don't have one then. Problem solved.

@CaptainThe95thRifles

I agree, but I think big weddings are an absurd spectacle and a ridiculous waste of money at the best of times.

I feel the same way about football, perhaps we can ban football too

The legal bit can be arranged quickly and have a party when this madness ends. No big deal.

I bet those who say "just have a big knees up later on" will be the same ones sneering at them later on and declaring them naff, attention seeking, grabby and not to mention ridiculing the bride if she wore anything resembling a white wedding gown. How dare she! Does she think she's a fucking princess or something.

I got married 15 years ago, before IG was invented and would have been hugely disappointed if covid restrictions would have happened then. I don't like being the centre of the attention which meant my hen do was a modest dinner at a restaurant for example. But I still wanted to have my turn as a bride, wear the dress and celebrate with family and friends. Some comments here are sickeningly misogynist, blaming women wanting something for themselves. Yeah, how dare they!

Also, if I was marrying now, I really would dislike having a party at a later day. I fully understand it's the marriage that counts but a party, 1-3 years from now is just not the same at all. To me it would feel bit pointless and also because I could be either pregnant or have a baby/toddler by then. It doesn't bother some people but I wouldn't have wanted it when I was getting married.

There is nothing wrong with feeling disappointed and sad for not being able to have something that all the previous generations were able to have.

I haven't RTwholeFT so if it's said elsewhere sorry, but I think a lot of people are directing their ire in the wrong direction and have been for the whole pandemic.

Why would you be annoyed with people who want a big celebration for their wedding and are annoyed they can't have one after 15 months of this crap? As said above, if you don't want a big wedding, don't have one, but don't criticise those for whom this is important.

It is probably slightly hyperbolic to say you can't move on with your life because of the new restrictions, but not everyone wants to have a small wedding now and a big party later - they just want to do the whole thing properly (for them) once, and are upset the rug has been pulled from under them again.

And, of course, us plebs spend our whole time throwing mud at each other for being upset about the wrong thing when others have worse problems or have even died, when literally ALL of the mud should be sitting on the faces of the Government. We wouldn't be here now if they had closed the borders to India when they did so for Bangladesh and Pakistan, or at least put in place a stringent test and trace and hotel quarantine system. After all the sacrifices people have made in lockdown (whether they agreed with them or not), the Government couldn't be arsed to do their job properly, as they have failed to do all the way through this. They had an excuse at the beginning maybe, but not now.

Don't criticise the upset brides and grooms (or those of us who were looking forward to festivals, gigs or other large events that now won't go ahead this year (AGAIN)) - aim your anger at its proper target.