People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

You cannot possibly comment on something like this unless it has affected you too. Put yourself in the shoes of a bride and groom that desperately want the day of their dreams. Having postponed my own wedding until next year, I have nothing but sympathy for every couple trying to plan their special day despite the absolute joke of a government treating the Wedding industry like shit on their shoe! This thread is so unnecessary.

If it’s about being married you can do the marriage but then have a big old knees up when the restrictions go, you don’t have to do them at the same time.

I did this - I eloped with 3 people, and had the party later -- and I can see why that's different to people than having the wedding with the reception. It simply is different - doesn't make it bad, I enjoyed it that way, but it's not the same thing and there isn't anything wrong with that.

And even when weddings have been allowed, many venues weren't having them, even many registrars offices are running at a snail's pace. I had my citizenship ceremony during this delayed a few times, it got to the point the Home Office had to expand the legal limits between one getting the acceptance letter and getting the ceremony to 6 months with even more possible if it was needed for particular area. Due to the size of my local office, they can't do weddings and citizenship ceremonies on the same day, they alternate as the wedding waiting room had to become the citizenship waiting room too as they have to do them all individually now. This means it takes longer even for those who 'just want to get married' with fewer days and the additional time between each means fewer per day. That's before getting into how different religious institutions and other venues have handled things with their own risk assessments and spaces.

The media's focus on the big extravagant weddings hasn't helped, but it's a little more complicated than just those who want a big party not feeling bad enough about ill, dying and the dead. I don't entirely get big wedding - it's my idea of a nightmare dealing with all those people and potential family drama for me - but I have sympathy that there are reasons like religious convictions, immigration, and so on that the delays could just be another fork in someone of the lack of control in everyone's lives that they focus on the wedding as something that they want to enjoy and feel in control of that's still not quite as possible to control as some would like and they may feel mentally done with that.

life can be a series of HUGE disappointments, including financial ones. I don't count not having the exact wedding you'd dreamed of as one of those.

You had the wedding you planned. It's not for you to dictate how disappointed others are allowed to be.

[quote Ostryga]@Workyticket I hope you have a bloody lovely time. And dance loads and sing your heart out! [/quote]
Thank you! We're 3 days before restrictions end so I think it'll be fairly normal ;)

Our venue / dj etc have been amazing, I can't wait to theow money at them and help them back on their feet

REALHOUSEWIFEOFSTOKE..how nasty so you want me to say to my child never mind your wedding is all up in air you will probably divorce anyway . I am still with there dad my first husband .so hopefully they see that and not stupid statistics .

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil to be honest you can F right off. I was supposed to get married in April 2020. Had fully paid for the whole thing 6 weeks before and then we went into lockdown. Until July you COULD NOT get married unless one of you was terminally ill. We moved our wedding to November to hopefully get the wedding we had paid in FULL for. By October we thought 'ok, we will only have 13 guests (plus us makes 15) but will do it anyway ' as that was the limit. For us that meant our parents and siblings. No one else as we have a large family. Grandparents very upset they wont see only grandchild get married. My father very upset he cant walk his only daughter down the aisle (social distancing banned this). Then another lockdown in November. Once again marriage banned unless you are dying so we couldnt go ahead. Then in the tier situation: if you were tier 3 you couldnt marry at all unless dying, tier 2 ceremony only, tier 1 ceremony and meal after allowed. It was very confusing and I know people who woke up the day before their wedding, only to be in tier 3 by midnight and having to cancel 12 hours before. Jan, Feb and march marriage was banned unless you were dying.

We have had 2 more dates since november. One cancelled because my sister got contacted by track and trace and had to isolate over the date even though she had negative lateral flows throughout.

It's been stressful. Its horrible. Its not 'just a day'. I hope it's my ONLY wedding day. The only time my dad will walk me down the aisle. The only time my family will be together in one room. I've paid for canapes (banned), I want to sing hymns in my church (banned), I want to dance for the first time in 2 years with friends (banned). And the biggest kick in the teeth of all is watching 22,000 football fans drinking without sitting down (banned for weddings), singing (banned for weddings) and hugging and climbing all over one another when we arent even allowed to have a dance floor. Unless you had a tiny little wedding with no singing, dancing, music or drinks then shut up.

DrSba I'm not dictating to anyone.

I've had a series of MASSIVE traumas in life since my wedding.

I would trade my lovely wedding to have avoided any of those.

It's disappointing yes, but I really think we need to help people put things in perspective.

Unless you had a tiny little wedding with no singing, dancing, music or drinks then shut up.

To be honest, even if she did have such a wedding, it wouldn't matter. It's not morally wrong to want a different wedding to someone else.

In fairness - I'm more sympathetic to people who'd made all of their arrangements ever before lockdown happened.

[quote IndiaMay]@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil to be honest you can F right off. I was supposed to get married in April 2020. Had fully paid for the whole thing 6 weeks before and then we went into lockdown. Until July you COULD NOT get married unless one of you was terminally ill. We moved our wedding to November to hopefully get the wedding we had paid in FULL for. By October we thought 'ok, we will only have 13 guests (plus us makes 15) but will do it anyway ' as that was the limit. For us that meant our parents and siblings. No one else as we have a large family. Grandparents very upset they wont see only grandchild get married. My father very upset he cant walk his only daughter down the aisle (social distancing banned this). Then another lockdown in November. Once again marriage banned unless you are dying so we couldnt go ahead. Then in the tier situation: if you were tier 3 you couldnt marry at all unless dying, tier 2 ceremony only, tier 1 ceremony and meal after allowed. It was very confusing and I know people who woke up the day before their wedding, only to be in tier 3 by midnight and having to cancel 12 hours before. Jan, Feb and march marriage was banned unless you were dying.

We have had 2 more dates since november. One cancelled because my sister got contacted by track and trace and had to isolate over the date even though she had negative lateral flows throughout.

It's been stressful. Its horrible. Its not 'just a day'. I hope it's my ONLY wedding day. The only time my dad will walk me down the aisle. The only time my family will be together in one room. I've paid for canapes (banned), I want to sing hymns in my church (banned), I want to dance for the first time in 2 years with friends (banned). And the biggest kick in the teeth of all is watching 22,000 football fans drinking without sitting down (banned for weddings), singing (banned for weddings) and hugging and climbing all over one another when we arent even allowed to have a dance floor. Unless you had a tiny little wedding with no singing, dancing, music or drinks then shut up.[/quote]
We have a very similar story, so you have all my sympathy (and empathy)

Yes, it is. So why do we keep insisting that this 3must be the motivation for any woman (the men get a free pass for some reason) who has a traditional wedding? I don't

Yabu

@RockPainting

DrSba I'm not dictating to anyone.

I've had a series of MASSIVE traumas in life since my wedding.

I would trade my lovely wedding to have avoided any of those.

It's disappointing yes, but I really think we need to help people put things in perspective.

So have I and so have many other people, including many who are currently disappointed. It's not a competition. You had the wedding you wanted and it's not for you to tell others how upset they're allowed to be about not getting theirs.

@IndiaMay EXACTLY!
It’s not JUST the wedding it’s the sheer inconsistency and the fact that weddings are on the back of the list. Despite how important they are to people.
Also why is money lost in the sporting industry more important than the wedding industry

I think this thread is rather mean spirited. It's not just the current restrictions but all the uncertainty and rearranging too. Yes, I feel more sorry for people having to organise funerals, but I can also feel sorry for those whose weddings have been spoiled and whose plans have been on hold for do long. And also, many brides/grooms do have international guests as family and friends frequently live abroad today. I think that, unless you are in their position, it's hard to understand exactly how stressful this time has been for them.

As a couple of previous posters have said, wanting a 'big' traditional wedding isn't a new thing. My DF's family, and my DHs are farmers, and they have all had really big weddings with loads of people. And this was even the case when my Gran and Grandad got married in the 1940s!!!

Also, my DB is a wedding photographer and he said logistically it's been difficult trying to slot couples in with rearranged dates, some moved several times, when he has existing bookings several years ahead! Registrars have had backlogs to get through and also rearranging to do. For the couples involved it must be stressful and also there are cost implications, with some families having saved for many years to have a big wedding. You might not agree with that approach, but it matters to some people!

If you want a small wedding with few people that's great, but not everyone does. To suggest that anyone who's pissed off at having to attempt to rearrange their wedding again, is being a bridezilla, is unfair. Yes, it's not the worse thing happening in the world at the mo, but it's still crap for those involved.

I agree OP it's actually pathetic. It just goes to prove for to many people its not about the marriage but more about the wedding.

@DrSbaitso

I wholeheartedly agree! I was very fortunate to be able to have a wonderful wedding many years ago. It was a fantastic day and I have many wonderful memories. Those memories were later surpassed when my husband ended up in a coma on life support for weeks. Against all odds he survived. Walking arm in arm with him down the hospital ward took me back to my wedding day, but was so many times more special and meaningful. But despite what was a very traumatic time, and that it put things into perspective, I still have those lovely memories of my wedding too. And I wouldn't wish to deny anyone that. Just because I experienced a different perspective, it doesn't mean that others should be denied the same joy of planning their wedding.

@pabloescobarselasticband

I agree OP it's actually pathetic. It just goes to prove for to many people its not about the marriage but more about the wedding.

No what's pathetic is your ignorance.

Do you have any idea how important weddings are in some cultures?

People in my culture can't have sex, live together, go away together or do anything until they're married. We have large families. You have no idea what it's like for other people.

Life is not a zero sum game . You don’t get to trade traumatic events you can have all of them happening or none.
If we did indeed compare then nobody in the history of the entire world would be allowed to be upset over anything at all because there’s always a bigger possible catastrophe.

I think your issue is with the hyperbolic language in the news which is obviously concocted to rile people up.

@IndiaMay and @gurglebelly

I wholeheartedly agree about the football fans. I hope that at some point you get to have your big day!

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life?
Registry offices were only shut between March - July 2020 so you can still get married legally. I do agree with this point, if the marriage is fundamental in moving on with your life then go do the paperwork. However you’re a bellend for judging people for being upset about it.

I was supposed to be a 2020 bride. Postponed to 2021 (last weekend) but have now rearranged for 2023 as I couldn’t be arsed to fuck about with it again and it has mentally and financially taken it’s toll. My insurance has basically told me they won’t extend it again so that’s £150 down the pan. Venue, photographers and MUA have all increased prices which insurance wouldn’t cover (the first time before flicking me the vs) as it was “our decision to move the Wedding” because we were proactive in rearranging during lockdown rather than waiting and waiting and possibly losing our vendors (and huge amounts of money) and majorly messing them around. The whole thing has been an utter shitshow and I’m now worried with no insurance (and not being able to afford to get another insurance policy now after being made redundant and partner being on furlough for so long) something else will happen and we will loose a massive amount of money and be completely screwed.

Yes we could have had a small wedding (despite my dad having a cancer diagnosis and my grandad having a stroke weeks before 2nd date) however I don’t live close to my family so they couldn’t have travelled (in the U.K. but 4hrs away). And we had already paid substantial amounts towards our vendors, it would have made the wedding about £1000+pp or something daft!

There is a lot more to the nuances of a wedding than just “get on with it and stop moaning” especially from those who have never had to deal with rearranging a special event during something like this. It’s not as simple as just moving the dates and when you’re being fucked over left and right by shitty insurance companies and arbitrary rules and dates it’s heartbreaking and grinds you down.

Are you married @JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil? If so, I really would like to see how you would have coped with half the shit that I and any other couples affected have had to deal with. Your ignorance and lack of empathy is shockingly

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil I do have huge sympathy for those who cannot have a wedding in the way they like.

However I have far more sympathy for anyone who ends up seriously ill - or in hospital - as a result of the Indian variant.

I’d do as you say, have a ceremony - and put the big celebration on hold until the potential danger of the Indian variant has passed.

I never thought the dates were ‘set in stone’ - it was impossible for anyone to predict how the virus/vaccine would take hold. I think I would have planned my wedding taking that all into account.

And I’m just sorry for anyone in this situation.

Delta variant! Apologies.

My family live abroad and my family numbers at my wedding were 50. So 30 wouldn’t even touch the sides at my wedding. Yabu.