Page 11 | People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 2021-06-15T06:44:35+00:00

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding? They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests. Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic. There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later. I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

diddlediddledump · 15/06/2021 09:55

I had 100 guests at my wedding and it was hard enough to draw the cut off line back when I got married a few years ago
due to budget reasons. Getting married is a once in a life time big experience and no one gets married to get divorced. I can sympathise with people who want to have a wedding especially when it's ok to be on a packed tube, packed supermarket and packed beach in Bournemouth and now it's ok to be in a stadium.

But saying that, I kind of would have preferred to have 30 people at my own wedding (I wish). It's cheaper and much more intimate. What would upset me is not being able to go on a honeymoon though!!

SpeakingFranglais · 15/06/2021 09:57

It’s very sad but the way I look at the whole thing, and yea I’m peed off with the whole lockdown, is that this is serious. The worst thing I have experienced in my lifetime, and millions have lost their lives to it, including my own DF.

And yet, I haven’t lived through a war as millions have, which will have been massively more disruptive and life changing and for that I’m bloody grateful.

If it means I can’t go abroad or to a large wedding for a bit, so be it.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2021 09:59

You know, I'm predicting this time next year, covid cancellation will be all forgotten, and mumsnet will be awash with people posting about their 'summons' to a party - when they got married last year and isn't it unreasonable the bride and groom are expecting us to celebrate their anniversary/want to prolong their wedding. I mean they got married without us...I'm not buying a gift....
Hahaha yes, this, absolutely. We didn't even make the 30 so why should we go? If they loved is the most we'd have been at their first wedding.

ChequerBoard · 15/06/2021 10:00

"That’s just a party though not a wedding."

And most big weddings still only invite a smaller guest list to the main ceremony and much larger guest list comes just to the evening party.

EmbarrassingMama · 15/06/2021 10:00

I think it's highly irregular that you can't see why people wouldn't be upset by this. Maybe you are the type of person who would only want a register office wedding and good for you. But a lot of people want the ritual that comes with your friends and family watching you make a declaration to the person you love.

And come on, a wedding without dancing. Really?!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/06/2021 10:01

Totally agree
Get married now and have a party later if you want

Not ideal but hardly the worst thing in the pandemic

GintyMcGinty · 15/06/2021 10:02

I feel sorry that people can't have the weddings they want.

30 would have limited us to close family only.
I enjoyed having my friends at my wedding too.

It's pretty lacking in empathy to be annoyed by this.

GintyMcGinty · 15/06/2021 10:04

Also spare a thought for the wedding industry and how this affects all the cake makers, florists, DJs, fancy car hire places, venues etc.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/06/2021 10:04

My niece has rearranged her wedding 3 times.

It hasn’t prevented her from moving on with life or given her mental issues in anyway.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 15/06/2021 10:05

I don’t get why people get married in the first place never mind spend more than a months wages on one! I know a girl who’s grandma sold her holiday caravan to pay for her wedding it’s been cancelled twice and it’s like someone’s been told they’ve got a terminal illness ffs the way they go on about it. Spending £50k plus on one day when you can’t actually afford it is madness l... it’s madness if you can afford it’

80sMum · 15/06/2021 10:06

I agree with you, OP. The restrictions have not prevented anyone from getting married.

What has been restricted is parties. The people who are complaining are upset (understandably so, as it is bound to be disappointing) that they can't have a big party on their wedding day. But nothing has prevented them from getting married and moving on with their lives.

DeathByWalkies · 15/06/2021 10:06

Do you know why I'm pissed off about the continuing wedding restrictions? Because weddings are a substantial proportion of my livelihood.

Because due to the nature of my business I charge on a per head basis. I'd actually LOSE money (and be working for free - each wedding takes up around 2 days of my time due to all the prep work) on a wedding for 30 people. I have to charge for a minimum of 50 people for that reason, just to break even.

Because - due to being messed around by the government and the lack of certainty - the majority of my 2021 couples have already postponed to 2022/23. I'm now turning away new custom for the dates in 2022/23 because I can't be in two places at once. In other words, their postponing has cost me the ability to take on a new booking.

Because throughout the pandemic I've had fuck all support from the UK government - £0 in SEISS last year and a total of £700 this year, because I went self employed just under a year before COVID hit. If I was in exactly the same job at exactly the same time but employed rather than self employed, I'd have received furlough. I didn't get any funding linked to having premises either because the events sector is like that - you work at venues. No UC either.

For a great many people, weddings are not "just a party", they're how we pay our rent and put food on the table.

#ExcludedUK

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2021 10:07

@GintyMcGinty

Also spare a thought for the wedding industry and how this affects all the cake makers, florists, DJs, fancy car hire places, venues etc.

Ah but none of them should exist anyway surely. Wedding cakes, flowers, disco, travel, venue - you oy do that if your a vacuous self obsessed insta-princess. All the people who actually love their partner go to the registry office in secret and never bore anyone else with the details of their life. See also having babies. If you have any kind of celebration you're just attention seeking. No-one cares

Blueeyedgirl21 · 15/06/2021 10:08

@DeathByWalkies despite my non understanding of big weddings I do have the utmost sympathy for the industry and people like you it must be awful

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/06/2021 10:09

@80sMum

I agree with you, OP. The restrictions have not prevented anyone from getting married.

What has been restricted is parties. The people who are complaining are upset (understandably so, as it is bound to be disappointing) that they can't have a big party on their wedding day. But nothing has prevented them from getting married and moving on with their lives.

Yes. They. Have.

Goldenbear · 15/06/2021 10:09

Sweeping generalisations on here about people who want a bigger celebration than a sit down meal are shallow and obsessed with the wedding over the commitment of marriage- load of rubbish! I got married in my mid 30's when my youngest was 4 and she was a bridesmaid! We had other commitments before then, career ones and financial ones so could not justify it or make the time prior to then. We were already committed to each other but wanted to be married, nothing to do with having a party. However, a wedding for us had to include the people we cared about and in our case my DH has loads of friends, Best Man flew back from Hong Kong and DH has a huge extended family. The friends who attended definitely wanted to celebrate with us and were excited by it, I think that was because only one friend had got married by that stage. I would love for my friend's or DH's to get married as I love weddings!

Roonerspismed · 15/06/2021 10:11

Oh my god. I’m heartfelt sorry. Weddings are a part of the joy of life.

It’s been over a year now. Enough!!

Blueeyedgirl21 · 15/06/2021 10:13

@SleepingStandingUp it’s not that you have to have this mumsnet secret ceremony with only a greggs sausage roll to celebrate after, it’s the assumption that people do have the headspace and money to care about your wedding as much as you do, no one really cares except for normally parents, close friends who are in the wedding party etc. really we went to 8 weddings in one year and whilst lovely we spent probably £5000 as a couple or more at them and I can’t tell you a single thing about any of them except one had a really exceptional band and one had Krispy Kreme donuts. A member of my partners family has a wedding coming up and it is ALL my mil talks about. How everything will be so special and expensive and better than other weddings. It won’t. Believe me it won’t. It will be a lovely day and the couple are lovely. But realistically weddings just ... aren’t that good 🙈

Bobholll · 15/06/2021 10:13

I have sympathy with those who want the big, flashy day that costs £20k (bonkers). But I agree the idea your life is on hold & it causing depression are ridiculous. People have lost complete sight of what a wedding actually is 🙄

I’m getting married in August. 30 people, my closest family. It wasn’t a hard decision. Parents, siblings, their partners & children .. after that, family members we see regularly. Covid is a great excuse not to invite family neither of us ever see! Costs are looking at about £5-6000.

Friends have been really supportive. As we haven’t invited any, there’s no hard feelings. We’ll have a party later, there’s no rush. We’ve got a couple venues scoped with plenty of availability in later 2022.

Honeymoon wise, we have booked a lodge with private hot tub & sauna for 5 days. It looks amazing. We will go abroad when able but can save up a bit now.

For us, we just want to be married. We are so excited to do so! And have a special week together. That’s what a wedding is, the party can wait.

elliejjtiny · 15/06/2021 10:13

I find that it's easy to dismiss things that don't affect us personally as being not that bad. Weddings and holidays abroad don't affect me personally so I'm not bothered by that but not being allowed to visit my 12 year old son in hospital was awful. I struggle with masks but not enough to be exempt so I'm desperate for masks to go. Other people might be fine with masks but really want to have their wedding or go to a toddler group.

RancidOldHag · 15/06/2021 10:14

I predict there will be a boom in anniversary parties on 1st, 2nd or maybe 5th anniversary (they're relatively uncommon at the moment before silver)

I think the issues here might be summed up as the divide between people who think it's meant to be the best day of your life, and those who think it's meant to be a special day, but not 'the best' as that implies it's downhill all the way after that.

It's not a question of 'superior' thinking, just different. And if you're not in 'the best' camp, it's probably easier to find another special

CornishGem1975 · 15/06/2021 10:14

@80sMum

I agree with you, OP. The restrictions have not prevented anyone from getting married.

What has been restricted is parties. The people who are complaining are upset (understandably so, as it is bound to be disappointing) that they can't have a big party on their wedding day. But nothing has prevented them from getting married and moving on with their lives.

You're wrong. Marriages were not allowed for a good chuck of the past year. Only August, September and October. And it's really not possible for EVERYONE to get married in that small window of time.

My friend was due to get married twice in the last part of 2020 but they were banned, unless they were dying. It wasn't possible to get married until March 2021.

bruffin · 15/06/2021 10:15

ll the people who actually love their partner go to the registry office in secret and never bore anyone else with the details of their life.

nonsense,

aprilanne · 15/06/2021 10:15

Just to say op you are wrong in the first lockdown weddings were completely cancelled unless you were dying and got a special licence. Everyone else completely cancelled. So please get facts correct .and why shouldn't folk have the day they want. It's only once in a lifetime you cant rerun it ..

gurglebelly · 15/06/2021 10:16

@80sMum

I agree with you, OP. The restrictions have not prevented anyone from getting married.

What has been restricted is parties. The people who are complaining are upset (understandably so, as it is bound to be disappointing) that they can't have a big party on their wedding day. But nothing has prevented them from getting married and moving on with their lives.

Not true, not true, not true