Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

679 replies

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 15/06/2021 07:44

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

OP posts:
Annoymoususer · 15/06/2021 09:42

Maybe you got lucky but tell that to the millions who died and stop being ignorant.

RealhousewifeofStoke · 15/06/2021 09:42

Nowhere near as irritating as the ‘devastated’ ‘furious’ ‘heartbroken’ daily mail sad faced holiday makers who pop up every time Portugal goes off the green list Wink

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2021 09:43

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.
Wanting to hug your family, have a bit of a boogie and celebrate with more than immediate family now makes someone a princess?
kittycat863 · 15/06/2021 09:43

I do wonder, if there were no wedding restrictions at all, how many people would seriously offend the bride and groom by not attending because of the risk of it becoming a superspreading event? I particularly would not want to fly, pregnant and with only one vaccine, to a wedding this summer where people are packed into an indoor space, but I'd also be afraid of the repercussions of angering a friend who wanted to be a 'princess for a day'

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2021 09:45

I'd also be afraid of the repercussions of angering a friend who wanted to be a 'princess for a day' sounds like the issue is your taste in friends

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/06/2021 09:45

@Annoymoususer

Maybe you got lucky but tell that to the millions who died and stop being ignorant.
What's that got to do with me being statistically unlikely to die of covid?

I don't get your point.... I'm not being ignorant. I've been told I'm lucky to be alive, well yeah generally we all are but it was v unlikely covid would have killed me.

What's your point?

Goldenbear · 15/06/2021 09:46

To be fair, some people like to celebrate with a party not just a quiet, sit down meal. One is not better than the other, it depends on preferences, the number of friends you have and the extent of your families combined. We had about 60 people at our wedding, the day would not have been as memorable without the people who attended and the party element.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/06/2021 09:46

@kittycat863

I do wonder, if there were no wedding restrictions at all, how many people would seriously offend the bride and groom by not attending because of the risk of it becoming a superspreading event? I particularly would not want to fly, pregnant and with only one vaccine, to a wedding this summer where people are packed into an indoor space, but I'd also be afraid of the repercussions of angering a friend who wanted to be a 'princess for a day'
You have bad friends if you think they'd react like that. I would have understood completely like any normal person.
PigBiscuit · 15/06/2021 09:46

I think this is a bit short sighted. Lots of people have stumped up 20k for their dream day, only to find in reality, even with some of the measure relaxed that it will be nothing like what they had imagined. I would not want to pay 20k for a wedding where no one could dance or do any of the special bits that make it your day. I have quite a few friends who have had to rearrange their weddings multiple times. They finally thought they had the green light and it has been snatched away from them again.

Its another case of "i'm alright jack" unless you are the one facing losing out on thousands of pounds you have put down I don't think it would seem a big deal. To the ones who are set to miss out again its a kick in the gut.

Goldenbear · 15/06/2021 09:47

Do 'princesses' only like parties then? Bizarre!

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 09:48

This Princess for a day stuff is so sexist

Gensola · 15/06/2021 09:50

weddings have not been allowed "throughout the pandemic" - they were not allowed at all from March-July 2020!

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2021 09:50

@PigBiscuit

I think this is a bit short sighted. Lots of people have stumped up 20k for their dream day, only to find in reality, even with some of the measure relaxed that it will be nothing like what they had imagined. I would not want to pay 20k for a wedding where no one could dance or do any of the special bits that make it your day. I have quite a few friends who have had to rearrange their weddings multiple times. They finally thought they had the green light and it has been snatched away from them again.

Its another case of "i'm alright jack" unless you are the one facing losing out on thousands of pounds you have put down I don't think it would seem a big deal. To the ones who are set to miss out again its a kick in the gut.

But this is MN. If you really love each other, you pop down the registry office in a dress from your wardrobe and get married quietly without telling anyone. Anything more - hen do's that exceed a quiet drink in your local for example, are just about you being a Princess, the worst crime in the land, and therefore you're too vacuous to deserve a nice wedding
GoingGently · 15/06/2021 09:50

A bit harsh, OP...

Xenia · 15/06/2021 09:50

I have been against all CV19 mandatory measures since March 2020. My child was married in April 2021 postponed from March because of the complete wedding ban since about 29 Dec in London (unless you were dying) by which time (April) 13 guests distanced and in masks and no meal/food was allowed. Given we were in a massive church with 13 guests and masks on and big tape across rows so people were apart I really think the state banning singing of 2 hymns is utterly disgusting. It is not since the 1500s the UK has had a ban of this kind on Catholic (and indeed other) weddings and even now the state is restriction how people can practise their religion in a supposedly free society (although religions allowed by law to marry people without the civil bit so I think hindus and muslims if they stuck to the number limited WERE allowed religious marriages something Christians were forbidden during the ban so a lot of discrimination going on too.

mustlovegin · 15/06/2021 09:50

YANBU OP

Pedalpushers · 15/06/2021 09:50

This is mumsnet. On here the only acceptable wedding is if you get married at the local tip, wearing a dress made from binbags, with witnesses dragged off the street, before going home for a microwave ready meal. Anything more and you're a spoilt insta princess who doesn't care about your marriage.

My partner has a huge, close family. I have a LOT of very close friends. My family all live abroad. Am I sad that I can't have all of my nearest and dearest with me on my wedding day, can't celebrate my marriage the same way we have wonderfully celebrated others, can't host everyone I love with fun and food and dancing? Of course I am, and I'm sick of miserable people telling me there's something wrong with that.

IliveonCoffee · 15/06/2021 09:51

I've had to postpone. Yes, I want my family there and what some might consider a 'big wedding' - 70 guests max including evening. The marriage is important to me, but part of that is I want to declare it in front of all my close family and friends. I did plan it down to about 35 but even that fell through. I only plan to get married once. So yes, I'll hold out to do it my way, and feel upset when I even my compromised compromises are thrown out.

My thoughts are the for every person declaring 'have a big party later' there is someone who would get upset over evening guests - or 'two tier' guests. Who get upset when someone gets married the week before and has 'show wedding' with a celebrant. For every person declaring its a waste to do a big party, there is someone offended they didn't make the cut.

I know full well, if I decided to just get married and plan a party later, that party would never happen because 'you're married now, do you really need all the fuss?!?!?'

I'm certainly not spoilt princess wanting a big day but I also feel like my marriage is something to be celebrated, not done in an hour with the bare minimum of guests.

You know, I'm predicting this time next year, covid cancellation will be all forgotten, and mumsnet will be awash with people posting about their 'summons' to a party - when they got married last year and isn't it unreasonable the bride and groom are expecting us to celebrate their anniversary/want to prolong their wedding. I mean they got married without us...I'm not buying a gift....

StripyHorse · 15/06/2021 09:51

@RJnomore1

YANBU I was at a wedding two weeks ago and without all of the shite that seems to accompany them these days and just a small number of people the couple wanted there it’s was a lovely day and the nicest wedding I have been at in years.

Weddings have got out of control recently and mostly are identikit opportunities to show off.

I wouldn’t have minded a wee dance but otherwise this was beautiful.

I felt exactly the same at my brother's wedding. Yes it would have been nice to have a bigger guest list (they were limited to 15 so it was literally parents, step parents and siblings) but it was touching by being such an intimate wedding. It made me want to go back and do the same - certainly the guest list stress we had would be gone.

DB and SIL were the most relaxed bride and groom I have seen.

That's not to say I am not looking forward to celebration pt II if it every happens!

Melitza · 15/06/2021 09:51

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil

If it’s about being married you can do the marriage but then have a big old knees up when the restrictions go, you don’t have to do them at the same time.

It’s disappointing yes but it’s not worthy of being on the news to complain saying you’re being prevented from moving on with your life. I can’t see what not being married is stopping you from doing unless you’re desperate to hold hands with your partner in Saudi Arabia or want to be married before TTC but if that’s the case you can still get married and do the party bit after.

That’s just a party though not a wedding.
GoingGently · 15/06/2021 09:52

YABVU

LateAtTate · 15/06/2021 09:53

@InnaBun that same argument is exactly what people use to tell other people that they shouldn’t be upset, ever. It’s a slippery slope but it goes something like
‘You didn’t get Christmas presents because you’re poor, at least you still have food, other people in other countries are dying without food’
And so on.

starfishmummy · 15/06/2021 09:53

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.
Exactly this.
DrSbaitso · 15/06/2021 09:53

@InnaBun

This Princess for a day stuff is so sexist
Yes, it is. So why do we keep insisting that this must be the motivation for any woman (the men get a free pass for some reason) who has a traditional wedding?
user1497787065 · 15/06/2021 09:55

I agree but as I see it, people are obsessed with the 'wedding' and the actual marriage takes second place.