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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No mask so school bus left my DD

492 replies

onanislandfaraway · 14/06/2021 22:34

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

OP posts:
singsingbluesilver · 15/06/2021 11:42

She was not left behind by herself. She was at school - a building full of responsible adults.

altoran · 15/06/2021 11:54

@cherrybonbons its not about covid. There could have been many reasons why a child would be left behind by a school bus.
And amazed at those who think a bus company are going to provide masks. If they were they would charge the school for this. But schools do not have the money for this. Private comapnies do not do things for free.

alwayswithhope · 15/06/2021 12:04

So you didn’t bother ensuring your child had spare masks yet got angry when a bus driver didn’t have spare masks and want to complain about it. So bus driver is supposed to pick up the slack on you not ensuring your child was adequately prepared for school which these days includes masks, spare masks and extra spare masks!!

cherrybonbons · 15/06/2021 12:09

[quote altoran]@cherrybonbons its not about covid. There could have been many reasons why a child would be left behind by a school bus.
And amazed at those who think a bus company are going to provide masks. If they were they would charge the school for this. But schools do not have the money for this. Private comapnies do not do things for free.[/quote]
Of course it's about covid. If covid didn't exist then masks are necessary. But come on. It's just logic gone mad. Let a 13 year old on the bus without a mask. Don't just drive off and leave her there. Why are we putting children at risk because covid is more important. It's ridiculous

Iggly · 15/06/2021 12:13

@LuaDipa

I cannot believe that some people think it is more acceptable for an adult to leave a 13 year old child alone with quite possibly no way of getting home than for said child to forget a face mask. Kids forget things. What if her parents were in a meeting and she couldn’t reach them? And if she had no family nearby to step in? I would hope any adult would know better than to abandon any child like that. I certainly couldn’t do it, mask or not.

I would be absolutely furious about this and would be in contact with both the school and the bus company.

Well I bet there’s more to it than the DD is letting on. The OP’s DD is asking her to leave it….

This child was left at school not on a dark street in deepest darkest croydon.

altoran · 15/06/2021 12:20

@cherrybonbons A bus driver does not make the rules. They are given rules they have to follow.
I always think people who say these kind of things have probably never had a job where you have little control over your work. You do what your boss tells you or else.
And the girl was not at risk. She was a 13 year old in the school grounds at 3pm. What was she at risk of?

DumplingsAndStew · 15/06/2021 12:23

@pinkstripeycat

Aroundtheworldin80moves

The bus driver was in a difficult position. Let her on, he's not adhering to restrictions and others would gollow her lead.

And obviously leaving her behind isn't ideal.

Overall, I think he was right.

Oh yes he was right to leave a child on the side of the street! If she attacked I’m sure everyone would agree with you that at least she didn’t spread covid around the bus!

If she was attacked, it would be the attackers fault, not the bus driver's.
ImmyMc · 15/06/2021 12:25

It's not the bus driver's job to hand masks out to the students. If he didn't have any or didn't have any left, there's nothing that he can do. She cannot legally get on the bus without them. Perhaps it is your responsibility to ensure that she has spares, not the bus driver's?

ImmyMc · 15/06/2021 12:27

Also, your daughter was at school. It is not dangerous. She could just have gone back into school and told the office or a teacher what happened. Not a big deal.

cherrybonbons · 15/06/2021 12:30

[quote altoran]@cherrybonbons A bus driver does not make the rules. They are given rules they have to follow.
I always think people who say these kind of things have probably never had a job where you have little control over your work. You do what your boss tells you or else.
And the girl was not at risk. She was a 13 year old in the school grounds at 3pm. What was she at risk of?[/quote]
There's always a risk of anything. But the bus driver deemed covid more of a risk even though these teenagers are taking lateral flow tests and if a positive comes up they have to isolate. Yet a forgotten/lost mask means that if he allows her on the bus, she will give everyone covid. It is logic gone mad. I wouldn't like a bus driver to leave my teenager child at a bus stop for this small error. The whole thing is ridiculous

melj1213 · 15/06/2021 12:37

YABU your teenage daughter was left at school because she didn't have a mask for the school bus midafternoon on a bright June day. She wasn't abandoned down some dark back alley at midnight in the middle of winter.

It is your DDs responsibility to carry masks the same way it is her responsibility to ensure she has her bus pass. The driver could have made an exception for her but he was not obliged to do so, and considering the fact that she was in a safe place then he did noting wrong by refusing to let her on the bus without a mask.

Your DD sounds like she was sensible enough in her reaction - calling someone to collect her - but do you not have a plan in place for emergencies/if she misses the bus etc? My DD is Yr 6 and she used to walk home from school when we literally lived 5 minutes down the road, but now we have moved she gets the public bus home - there is a bus stop opposite the school gates and I can see the bus stop she gets off at from our flat window. The public bus leaves 10 minutes after school finishes but they only run every 40 minutes, so if she misses it then she knows to either walk back into the school and ask to wait in reception or she can walk a couple of minutes to a different bus stop that also drops off at our house but takes a more indirect route. She has a very basic PAYG phone that she keeps turned off in the bottom of her bag so she can call/text me or her dad if there are any problems with the bus home.

mrstt89 · 15/06/2021 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altoran · 15/06/2021 12:50

@cherrybonbons we have no idea what the bus driver thinks about covid. He could be a covid denier for all we know. The bus driver was following his rules of employment. That is all.

altoran · 15/06/2021 12:51

And the child was left at school in the school playground.
O used to fancy being a teacher, not now. It is not the children that would be the issue, but the parents.

mrsplum2015 · 15/06/2021 13:02

Gosh I am shocked that you think a driver of a council organised bus has a duty of care to a teenager

My kids have been getting the bus to school since they have been old enough to be sensible and make appropriate decisions ( and carry a phone ). If they were autistic I would consider it my responsibility to transport them myself.

If my kids get stuck or there's an issue they call me and we work out what to do. In that situation go back and wait somewhere at school til I can get there or get someone to pick you up.

This is teaching them for real life exactly as a pp said. Carry spare tampons, paracetamol, a spare mask etc. unless they have these experiences in a controlled environment they won't learn the lesson.

A bus is not a privately arranged individual transport arrangement. If you want that for your child you'll have to organise a driver.

YellowFish12 · 15/06/2021 13:19

Couldn’t she have taken her jumper off and wrapped it round her face?

Or her sports T-shirt?

ImmyMc · 15/06/2021 13:20

@mrstt89 The thing is, these rules do help to stop the spread of Covid (duh). That's why they have been made into rules. Shaving your head does not help to prevent Covid, but if it did and I could save lives, I would do it, because I'm not a selfish git.

copperpotsalot · 15/06/2021 13:32

YANBU. This whole thing is getting absolutely ridiculous now

RB68 · 15/06/2021 13:39

She sorted herself out

She needs to carry a spare

End of

Sockwomble · 15/06/2021 13:51

"There's always a risk of anything. But the bus driver deemed covid more of a risk"

No he was doing his job following the rules set by his employer. Some people have no idea.

altoran · 15/06/2021 13:54

Do you really think everyone in hospitality wiping tables with antiseptic think it is necessary? No they are doing their job as directed.
It is always middle-class people who have no idea how other people live that blame workers for doing what their job is.
If the child was really at risk, the bus driver would have alerted someone. But leaving a 13 year old in school grounds at 3pm is not a risky situation.

singsingbluesilver · 15/06/2021 13:54

I suspect that many posters who are aupporting the OP are in fact also anto masks for children. The fact of the matter is covid is spreading in our schools. Three local high schools have now had to isolate whole groups because of teens mixing out of school. There has been a huge increase in local rates. Once it gets into the area the numbers rocket.

By not allowing a child on the bus the driver was potentially not only protecting the health of the others on the bus but also preventing the school from having to close.

That is a far more likely outcome than something terrible happening to a student who was left, quite safely outside her school on a bright sunny summer afternoon.

Sockwomble · 15/06/2021 13:56

"If they were autistic I would consider it my responsibility to transport them myself."

If they were autistic then reasonable adjustments could have already been put in place for them. I doubt you would actually consider it your responsability to spend the hours it can take transporting them to and fromschool and this certainly isn't expected of parents of children with autism.

altoran · 15/06/2021 13:58

Vulnerable children will have adjustments made for them. That may include a staff member making sure they get on the bus. This 13 year old did not need any adjustments.

holdingpattern · 15/06/2021 14:01

I'm not one for complaining, but in this case you should. There will be procedures, and very likely not followed. Don't listen to all those baying when I was five I worked in the mines.

She's 13 left alone, what if she didn't know what to do. Many kids don't. Could happen to someone else.

Get in touch with the school!!!