No mask so school bus left my DD

[onanislandfaraway]

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

Whoateallthechocolate

Although not about losing her bus pass specifically, I have had a chat with her about if she ever misses the bus to go back to school or make sure she rings us, she's pretty responsible for her age. I do think this needs to be addressed though because some poor mite may not be as mature and it could put them at risk so I think I will mention it to the school. As someone mentioned there's probably at least one child a week this happens to per school of not a lot more!

Lesson learned. She'll make sure she has a spare from now on.
Not the bus driver's fault. Or the school's.
Yours, and your daughter's.

There will be multiple children everyday without a mask. They're not all being "abandoned". Yes, do talk to the school, they'll tell you what DD should have done.

The bus driver has a right to follow the rules. And the company shouldn't have to provide tons of spares.

Send her with a pack of disposables in her bag for just in case.

@onanislandfaraway

Skengman she did ask some of her friends before leaving but no one had a spare, I don't believe she was rude, I don't think she would be. She just went to get on and the bus driver said firmly she could not get on without a mask and that was it, no mention of if she could get home OK or make sure you go back to school. I mean surely any competent adult would have the common sense to check that a child was not being left when it's their job to take them home.

In my experience, these sort of jobsworths really couldn't care less.

Thanks for your replies, I will make sure she has plenty of spares from now on but still concerned that this is the procedure. I'm a nurse and couldn't imagine turning someone away from hospital because they didn't have a mask so I guess I'm just gobsmacked that other adults can't look out for the welfare of those more vulnerable.

I dunno, I have a similar age child.
Should they let all people on who have an excuse for forgetting/losing their mask?
I bet they hear it several times a day.
Which ones do you believe?
Might make them think to look after it better next time if have to get consequences.

Quaggars

In her defence she had sports sessions outside all day today where they wasn't wearing masks and her mask was kept with her possessions and when she finished for the day the mask had gone. I do get that I need to make sure she has plenty in her bag though.

@Benediction

I think this is outrageous. What if she had attempted to walk home and been abducted or run over? Yes worst case scenarios but that is what safeguarding is for. If she were an 18 year old that is different but I would be absolutely fuming if my 13 year old were effectively abandoned to her own devices like this.

Don’t be bloody ridiculous. I assume as it’s a school bus it was right outside school. You do realise the staff don’t leave at the same time as the pupils? At 13, I would expect her to go back to school, explain what has happened, phone someone to pick her up. Which is what she did. Do you also realise that walking is a perfectly normal form of getting from A to B? If a 13 year old can’t manage to walk without getting run over they need road safety lessons. What do you think the chances of her getting ‘abducted’ are? 1/10? 1/10? 1/1000000?

The bus driver will have a strict timetable. I'm not sure what more he could have done as there potentially may be many children without masks.

@onanislandfaraway

Thanks for your replies, I will make sure she has plenty of spares from now on but still concerned that this is the procedure. I'm a nurse and couldn't imagine turning someone away from hospital because they didn't have a mask so I guess I'm just gobsmacked that other adults can't look out for the welfare of those more vulnerable.

You wouldn’t need to. The 4 times I’ve been to hospital over lockdown they’ve had staff sat outside asking people what their purpose is, and handing out spare masks.

Didn't she still have a dirty one from earlier in the day? Yeah, it wouldn't be fresh, but I'm assuming the one she was putting on after PE wasn't fresh either?
Or does she wear the same one all day long?

my DD wants to just leave it as she thinks I'm making a big issue of of it but she is only 13

She’s showing more maturity than you are!

She knows the rules, she presumably has a phone, she knows adults are still in school, she knows you would help her if stuck, she made a decent decision and should be praised.

Instead you are making a fuss!

Soontobe60

It's not as simple as "I wouldn't need to", I work on a forensic mental health ward and none of the patients on my ward wear masks and I'd never refuse them care because of this.

And as you said there's going to be people handing them out in those situations, I guess I just thought there should be spares in those situations.

I would see this as a safeguarding issue. There isn't public transport in all areas, and not all parents have an adult available to collect them last minute.

Not helpful now, but any kind of improvised face covering, eg a scarf or folder t shirt would have worked.

What’s ‘way to far to walk home’?

YABU though. It’s isn’t up to the bus company to transport children who don’t adhere to the criteria to travel.

The bus wouldn’t take a child without bus fare, or a child that takes the bus over its maximum capacity for safety, or a child who has been banned

Jesus BluebellsGreenbells I'm just having a discussion! Just worried that this is their protocol. My youngest DD has Autism, if this happened to her I dread to think of the consequences! Just thought a school bus driver should have more common sense that's all.

@onanislandfaraway

Whoateallthechocolate

Although not about losing her bus pass specifically, I have had a chat with her about if she ever misses the bus to go back to school or make sure she rings us, she's pretty responsible for her age. I do think this needs to be addressed though because some poor mite may not be as mature and it could put them at risk so I think I will mention it to the school. As someone mentioned there's probably at least one child a week this happens to per school of not a lot more!

If you have taught her to go back to school if she misses the bus, then why didn't she do that in this situation?

The bus company shouldn't need to provide masks.

I don't see what the driver could have done. He can't leave the bus to find her a mask. He has a schedule to stick to.

Let us know how you get on with the school. I'm going to say I think DD wants to "leave it" because she knows their answer will be that she should have gone back into school to get a mask.

@onanislandfaraway

I was going to talk with the school, my DD wants to just leave it as she thinks I'm making a big issue of of it but she is only 13 and it's so far away from her home. They did leave her in the school grounds so not completely in the street so I can see it from the bus driver's view a tiny bit I guess! But why the hell don't they carry spares? What about a child that may have just turned 11 and thought the school is going to be closed now by the time they walk back (the car park is quite far from school entrance), then not been able to get hold of their parents, stuck in a different town not knowing how to get home, what about in winter when it's getting dark around that time. I know I'm probably overthinking it but you can't ever be too careful with our children's safety surely!

She'd even walked down to a pub car park as that's where some kids' parents pick them up as easier to get to than the school car park and the pub is on a main road at least a 10 minute walk from the school so didn't really like that she was waiting there for her nan.

‘You can never be to careful with our children’s safety’

Exactly 100%

Which is why o applaud the bus driver for not allowing a child without a mask to board, and not passing out free masks either. How is the bus driver expected to supervise that FGS

@Geamhradh

Lesson learned. She'll make sure she has a spare from now on. Not the bus driver's fault. Or the school's. Yours, and your daughter's.

Exactly

She was refused entry to the bus because she didn’t have the necessary mask. Whilst I’m far from being a fan of masks, they are currently as important as having bus fare. As she was unable to get the bus she phoned a trusted adult to help. If I were you I’d be praising the fact that she responded maturely to an unexpected situation and reminding her that she can always go back in to school if she is unable to get home.

As for complaining - what would you complain to the school for? They don’t have control of the bus driver (she/he will work for a private company rather than the school), and your DD didn’t let them know there was a problem. You could complain to the bus company, but they’d likely tell you that the driver was simply following the government guidance for buses.

@onanislandfaraway

Thanks for your replies, I will make sure she has plenty of spares from now on but still concerned that this is the procedure. I'm a nurse and couldn't imagine turning someone away from hospital because they didn't have a mask so I guess I'm just gobsmacked that other adults can't look out for the welfare of those more vulnerable.

I understand it from this point of view because a patient would probably sue if you turned them away for not wearing a mask. Their attitude is often 'ive had my vaccines anyway, but I'll pull my mask up over my nose if you insist'.

Your DD could have said she was exempt and have been allowed on, which is the silly thing.

How far is it to wss as LO? What is the procedure if her bubble bursts and she is required to go home to self isolate and can’t use public transport? I assume you have a procedure in place?