No mask so school bus left my DD

[onanislandfaraway]

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

Can't believe this thread is still rumbling on with the uncaring comments !! Wouldn't it be a nicer world if people cared about others instead if 'just doing their job'

She is 13 not 7, was left at school, not at a busy bus depot.
It’s a lesson to everyone on the bus to always carry a spare mask or two.
No harm done.
Move on.

"There is law and policy that covers safeguarding"

There is but the bus driver broke no safeguarding laws or policies. If you tried to complain that he had, you would get nowhere.

As a wife of a bus driver working for a national company, who just pulled his training books to double check:
No bus company will provide masks for passengers so any spares would have to come out of the drivers pocket. You can't expect a driver to provide this.
Leaving a child behind is, however, not normally allowed. You do not leave anyone potentially vulnerable behind. Covid or no covid. Safeguarding comes first.
It's that easy, really.

We have had actual safeguarding issues regarding ds's special school transport ( not being properly secured in vehicle etc) so I have copies of all the rules/ guidelines surrounding school transport and this situation would not be counted as a safeguarding issue.

"Leaving a child behind is, however, not normally allowed."

On public transport. This is school transport.

@lollipoprainbow

Can't believe this thread is still rumbling on with the uncaring comments !! Wouldn't it be a nicer world if people cared about others instead if 'just doing their job'

The bus driver has to think about all of the children.

Imagine if the bus driver had got off the bus to personally escort the child back into school.
Child A messing around on bus without an adult around with a lighter and accidentally sets the bus on fire.
Child B gets assaulted by a group of other children.
Child C gets into a fight with Child D and ends up falling out of an upstairs window...

The best plan moving forward is to educate your secondary school child about the importance of carrying spare masks. Also, reiterate what to do if they miss the bus.

You are completely right. It was lucky your daughter had means to contact a relative. My 13 years old son would be really distressed with the situation. He once lost his bus pass and the bus driver let him travel . He was very grateful for that. I think people working with children need to have responsibility and understanding of kids limitations and bevprepared for that. They will lose things often. They are still learning

Too much of blaming other people going on nowadays. Of course it is only your responsibility to ensure she has spare masks. No one else's fault except yours 'as the parent'. She seems very sensible.

Imagine if the bus driver had got off the bus to personally escort the child back into school.
Child A messing around on bus without an adult around with a lighter and accidentally sets the bus on fire.
Child B gets assaulted by a group of other children.
Child C gets into a fight with Child D and ends up falling out of an upstairs window...*

Yeah cos all that is very likely to happen

I'd be really interested in the story from the driver's perspective.

I very much doubt it was a case of "get off, you have no mask" and then the bus drove off.

Its likely:

The child will have had the opportunity to cover her face with an alternative.
The child could have asked a friend or other pupil for a spare.
The child could have asked the office for a spare.
The child possibly said "okay, I'll call someone for a lift".

I very, very much doubt the driver thought he was leaving a child who had no alternative means of getting home or procuring a face covering.

"Yeah cos all that is very likely to happen hmmhmmhmm"

Unless it is an emergency, drivers are not allowed to leave the vehicle with children on it.
I know of incidents of teenagers climbing out of the emergency exit on the top deck of a school bus whilst the bus was moving, hanging over head first from the top of the stairway rail and setting fire to seats with lighters - On school buses from 'nice' schools.

@lollipoprainbow

* Imagine if the bus driver had got off the bus to personally escort the child back into school. Child A messing around on bus without an adult around with a lighter and accidentally sets the bus on fire. Child B gets assaulted by a group of other children. Child C gets into a fight with Child D and ends up falling out of an upstairs window...*

Yeah cos all that is very likely to happen

Oh course it could happen. Have you met teenagers?

My point being that the bus driver has responsibility for all children.

I have seen a comment on here regarding leaving a 13 year old on their own at home being irresponsible parenting. I have no idea if this was aimed at me or at others who have said similar. Whether it is or isn't, let me explain my background. I am a parent and registered foster carer of 15 years. In that time over 60 children have lived with my family. Some have come and gone, some have stayed and stayed (my very first long term FS is currently back from Uni and resided in the attic room as we speak although i haven't heard in move for a good while, I don't think he is dead). Every one of those foster children have had a care plan, and many of those care plans were court approved due to the complexity of issues. We have regular face to face with our own social workers, all the looked after children have theirs also. We have to submit weekly reports on each child, and have monthly educational reviews for each of them, and quarterly Looked After Children reviews which often include the birth parents. So if we were being irresponsible, it is likely to have been picked up. We currently have one biological child living at home, one 13 year old FD who has been with us for 3 years and two 8 year old twin FDs who have been with us for 4 years. (and our 20 yr old who comes and goes as he sees fit). The 13 year old is the one I mentioned in an earlier post as losing her bus pass regularly and being left at school one time. 13 year old FD's background is that she has a very abusive father and a mother with mental health issues which she had a very co dependent relationship with. As such, FD has associated attachment disorder, which means she forms intense and inappropriate relationships with others, usually older people. She is for example, overly attached to me in a way none of my biological children ever have been. This means obviously that she is prone to grooming. Her care plan is three fold: 1. Gradually increase independence so that she can make her own decisions and not be overly reliant on others so that 2. she does not form inappropriate co dependent relationships as she gets older so that 3. she can lead a healthy and happy life. Getting herself home twice a week is part of that care plan. In all my time looking after children, I have had only one who was unable to stay by herself after the age of 13 (there is a reason it is legal from that age) and she had very severe behavioural issues, albeit she is 29 now with a job and child of her own. My point of this rambling post is this: please don't accuse others of irresponsible parenting based on a few lines in mumsnet. You could say I am court approved as a responsible parent, albeit one who ballses up on a regular basis, being as I am, human

I thought high school kids didn’t have to wear masks anymore? Of course the bus driver shouldn’t have left her behind!

My comment about being home alone was the combination of the OP being angry that her 13 year old daughter was being expected to handle the situation of not being allowed to get on the school bus (when all she had to do was walk back into to school and ask a member of staff for help), but was perfectly fine with the same daughter being alone at home for a couple of hours without adults around to ask for help.

I am fine with my 13 year old DD being at home on her own for a couple of hours, and would be equally fine with her not being allowed on the school bus - and would expect her to be able to handle either situation safely and sensibly. In fact, she has coped with getting herself home when the bus she was on got diverted - and that was on a public road when it was getting dark, and the bus driver was completely unhelpful about where she could get a bus back.

We have had lots of conversations over the years, from 'what to do if we get separated in a supermarket' when she was younger, to 'where to find help if she feels harassed by someone' (sadly necessary now she is old enough to travel independently).

Omg it’s only taken a year to indoctrinate you. Kids don’t need masks no one does. So you’d rather leave a young girl on the side of the street just because she’s not wearing a mask that doesn’t work anyway? How moral of you.

She wasn't 'at the side of the road', she was at school.

@pinkfluff76 No, teenagers don't have to wear masks in school anymore.
If you're on public transport you do though

@Allington

And the OP has said this 13 year old spends a couple of hours at home alone after school. That is seriously negligent parenting!

Why?

Sorry, just saw you'd explained that.

@threatmatrix

Omg it’s only taken a year to indoctrinate you. Kids don’t need masks no one does. So you’d rather leave a young girl on the side of the street just because she’s not wearing a mask that doesn’t work anyway? How moral of you.

Ridiculous.

@DumplingsAndStew

I'd be really interested in the story from the driver's perspective.

I very much doubt it was a case of "get off, you have no mask" and then the bus drove off.

Its likely:

The child will have had the opportunity to cover her face with an alternative.
The child could have asked a friend or other pupil for a spare.
The child could have asked the office for a spare.
The child possibly said "okay, I'll call someone for a lift".

I very, very much doubt the driver thought he was leaving a child who had no alternative means of getting home or procuring a face covering.

I actually think it’s very likely it was a case of "get off, you have no mask" and then the bus drove off.

The point isn’t that OP’s DD was fine and sorted an alternative, it’s that it isn’t a school bus driver’s call to determine whether or not she will be fine getting home.

He doesn’t know whether she can get a lift, and she’s 5miles from home, and to be honest as PP mentioned upthread, a bus driver refused to let a Nottingham teenager on a late night bus as she was 20p short on her fare and she ended up getting raped, I wouldn’t want the school bus driver making the call as to whether my DD can get home safely or not.
If he didn’t want to break rules he could and should very simply have told her to use an alternative face covering (cardi, scarf, tissue whatever) and let her on, advising her it was a one rule exception.

*one time

a bus driver refused to let a Nottingham teenager on a late night bus as she was 20p short on her fare and she ended up getting raped

And in this case it was the middle of the afternoon and the teenager just had to walk back into school and ask for help...

It is not remotely comparable.