No mask so school bus left my DD

[onanislandfaraway]

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

We always had bus duty at the Secondary school I taught at. It was for behaviour then.

"Safeguarding is most certainly the school transport bus companies job. It’s the job of every single person who works with children."

This wasn't a safeguarding issue because the secondary age child was left on school premises. They would have been able to go to the school office to speak to someone and have somewhere safe to wait.

I think the bus did the right thing, no mask no travel, otherwise some teenagers would take advantage and the rule would become unenforceable.

However I do think that school should have provided a replacement mask to enable her to get home - but did she ask?

I do think you would be right to approach school about the issue, not to complain but to seek information on what they have in place to help. Maybe, from now on, she could keep an emergency mask in her bag to stop this being an issue.

There should be a clear policy about this.

The bus shouldn’t be refusing transport and not alerting someone about it in the school.

It can’t be the first time it’s happened and the school must have a policy on it.

She should have a spare one in her bag. My ds's do.

Just to add. I would be furious if a bus driver let a child without a mask (unless exempt on medical grounds)onto a crowded bus to sit with my children.

What if your dd later tested positive and managed to spread it to the rest of the school because she did not have the sense to carry spare masks? I still don't understand why anyone would think one mask would be enough for the whole day in the first place.

Off topic a bit but at the age of 13 I travelled to Germany alone by train. I barely even spoke any German.
She clearly demonstrated the life skills required to sort out the problem, so why all the fuss?

I cannot believe that some people think it is more acceptable for an adult to leave a 13 year old child alone with quite possibly no way of getting home than for said child to forget a face mask. Kids forget things. What if her parents were in a meeting and she couldn’t reach them? And if she had no family nearby to step in? I would hope any adult would know better than to abandon any child like that. I certainly couldn’t do it, mask or not.

I would be absolutely furious about this and would be in contact with both the school and the bus company.

I did bus duty but there wasn't a staff member at every bus because there were more than 20 buses and minibuses. Only the most difficult behaviourly buses were policed. If a pupil had problem, they were expected to go and look for a member of staff. My local high school school buses pick up off site and are not policed.

She was not abandoned she was in school. All she needed to do was walk into school to ask for help.

@LuaDipa

I cannot believe that some people think it is more acceptable for an adult to leave a 13 year old child alone with quite possibly no way of getting home than for said child to forget a face mask. Kids forget things. What if her parents were in a meeting and she couldn’t reach them? And if she had no family nearby to step in? I would hope any adult would know better than to abandon any child like that. I certainly couldn’t do it, mask or not.

I would be absolutely furious about this and would be in contact with both the school and the bus company.

Oh yes all alone by herself in the middle of nowhere . With no one around for miles. Or just outside the school she has just left that she can walk a few meters too and get help. The over dramatising on this thread is hilarious .

Meh, couldn’t get worked up about it. When school transport resumed, we had a letter saying masks are mandatory, it’s the parents’ responsibility to provide them, so I fully expect DD to be denied transport if she loses her mask. Or if she loses her pass. Or if she breaks any of the behaviour rules. And whilst I’m far from a perfect parent, I think it’s important that she is familiar with the bus rules and that she follows them - so it doesn’t matter if I believe masks work or not, if the bus requires a mask, you wear a mask.

(Saying you were exempt wouldn’t work here as you’re meant to communicate that to the LA’s school transport team so the bus driver knows - I assume there’s something similar for children with SN.)

"I cannot believe that some people think it is more acceptable for an adult to leave a 13 year old child alone"

She wasn't alone, she was on school premises. The bus driver is not allowed to evict pupils from the bus enroute as that would be leaving them alone but that didn't happen.

She's 13 not 5.

From age 11, I was at school in the next town along, lots of people are.

She's not a young helpless child. She could have gone back into school and asked for assistance.

There has to be a rule, if they make an exception for one child then they are putting other people on the bus at risk. It feels like unless people are forced to take rules seriously then they don’t.
She should have asked at school for a spare if she lost her mask.
The research of the benefit of face masks on buses and other carriage style transport shows how effective they are.
It is not the bus companies job to provide face masks.
She was in school grounds she was perfectly safe.
I just can’t understand why at this stage people just don’t get it.
Write yourself a complaint about how you haven’t provided a spare mask for your child and then read it and then be more organised.
I hate this whole pass the buck complaining culture to avoid taking responsibility for your own failings.

The child can stay in school until someone picks them up or if it gets ridiculously late social services will be contacted to take over the care but they are not left alone.

@LuaDipa

I cannot believe that some people think it is more acceptable for an adult to leave a 13 year old child alone with quite possibly no way of getting home than for said child to forget a face mask. Kids forget things. What if her parents were in a meeting and she couldn’t reach them? And if she had no family nearby to step in? I would hope any adult would know better than to abandon any child like that. I certainly couldn’t do it, mask or not.

I would be absolutely furious about this and would be in contact with both the school and the bus company.

When I was 13 we all made our own way to school without the help of a school bus.

Anyway she wasn’t abandoned, it was 3pm, she was at school premises, she had a mobile phone and the final proof of pudding is in the eating, she made her way home quite easily.

If everyone thought the school or school bus driver would provide spare masks, I predict there would be a very large increase in those that don’t bother carrying their own.

[quote DumplingsAndStew]@lanthanum

Do they not have members of school staff overseeing pupils getting on buses?

I had to come back to this. Do you seriously think high school kids should be supervised to make sure they get on a bus?[/quote]
I've worked in three secondaries with buses, and in each case there have been staff on "bus duty" who remain at the bus pick-up point until all buses have left. I'm sure that lots of the time they are not needed, but they cover the situation where a bus has broken down and the kids are left waiting for ages, where a child is slow out of school and arrives after the bus has gone, where a child says that their mate is not here yet, and of course this one.

Maybe we just mollycoddle them in this area, or maybe experience has shown that it's a good idea. Most secondaries have 10 minutes of after-school supervision around the site anyway, although bus duty tends to be a little longer. It makes sense that students are at least lightly supervised while they are still on the premises.

If this had been at primary school, it would have been wrong.
At secondary school children are expected to take more responsibility for themselves. So nobody for example checks that children are being collected or safe to get home by themselves. If there is a problem, children are expected to alert a teacher.
It sounds OP like you are struggling with this change. Your DC managed fine. You are the one struggling with this and you sound over anxious with your talk about kidnapping.
If you really are this anxious about kidnapping and it is not just something you type on MN, then it would be helpful to visit your GP and ask for some CBT. Because this level of anxiety is not normal.

The secondary school near me always have staff on duty. It's on a busy main road and any bad behaviour could be dangerous.

It's reassuring to see how many pp have pointed out that she was left at school, not abandoned in the middle of nowhere. She organised things herself, which was fine, but if she hadn't been able to she just needed to go back into school and tell a member of staff or office.

@onanislandfaraway

0None0 she's not wrapped in cotton wool, I'm just worried that this is their protocol, more for other more vulnerable children as this muc=st be fairly common. "Too far to walk" was just easier than saying, "she has to walk from one town through a very secluded road with nothing but forest for 3 miles or more" into a village with narrow lanes then about another mile and a half through the streets".

The "outrage" isn't anything about walking 5 miles.

What you describe as a walk home sounds very similar to where we live. My kids have regularly walked the route to and from school since they were 11. The bus driver and the school have done nothing wrong. All that has happened is hopefully your daughter will remember to be more organised in the future and have spare masks on her. She sorted it herself by calling her Nan so really there was no issue. Not sure why her walking to a pub car park is so terrible. What do you think is going to happen to her?

@headintheproverbial

For all those saying the child should have had a spare mask - YES, BUT the child should never have been left standing alone on the street as a result.

Surely there is a responsibility there to ensure that she has some other way of getting home if they won't take her. Or even ensure she's handed back over to the care of the school?!

She is 13 not 3 for goodness sake. She demonstrated that she was more than capable of sorting it out herself. I am sure the bus driver does not have time to take her back to the care of the school. How utterly ridiculous.

This thread is incredible.
Children regularly walking 7 miles home from school. (Really? REALLY?).
A school bus driver is just there to drive the bus and safe-guarding isn't their issue (as a pp said it's something all adults working with children are responsible for)
Girls need to learn to remember spare tights and tampons (because God forbid a girl is seen with a ladder in her tights)
And finally, that parents honestly believe secondary school children are regularly changing their mask through the day (they're really really not!)

I need to step away from Mumsnet I think. These aren't my people...

All adults working with children have a responsibility for safeguarding. This is not a safeguarding issue.

When covid becomes a bigger risk than leaving a child behind by herself....
The logic according to some people. Ffs.