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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No mask so school bus left my DD

492 replies

onanislandfaraway · 14/06/2021 22:34

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

OP posts:
partyatthepalace · 15/06/2021 08:04

Yes of course you need to let the school know so they can make sure the bus company carry spares in future. As you say with a younger or SN child this could have been a real issue.

I imagine the bus company won’t be happy the driver didn’t let her on, but they have clearly failed to give him a protocol of what to do, and not everyone can think on their feet effectively.

It sounds like she handled it well and it’s a good growing up experience so look at it like that. (And ignore the daft replies you’ve got, of course she would normally carry spares etc.)

Boomisshiss · 15/06/2021 08:07

@partyatthepalace

Yes of course you need to let the school know so they can make sure the bus company carry spares in future. As you say with a younger or SN child this could have been a real issue.

I imagine the bus company won’t be happy the driver didn’t let her on, but they have clearly failed to give him a protocol of what to do, and not everyone can think on their feet effectively.

It sounds like she handled it well and it’s a good growing up experience so look at it like that. (And ignore the daft replies you’ve got, of course she would normally carry spares etc.)

He clearly was following the protocol and not letting anyone without a mask on. As per the law. It’s not up to the driver to carry spares for everyone. Who do you think is going to pay for that?
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/06/2021 08:11

What's the point of having behaviour rules if the driver shouldn't follow them?
So he should allow the kids to pass around a bottle of whisky, as it's more important to get them home?
Or smoke? Or throw stuff around?

Doesn't matter if you don't agree with the rule, if it's a condition of carriage you have to follow it.

MichelleScarn · 15/06/2021 08:13

This bus driver failed to transport a young girl home. He didn't know if that young girl was autistic, or had a phone on her, or lived 5 miles away or would have to walk down a dual carriageway to get home.

Unless the bus route was down a dual carriageway, why would it be in the driver's realm of knowledge/responsibility what anyone's journey was after they'd dropped at their stop?

SmallPrawnEnergy · 15/06/2021 08:15

I’m astonished at the amount of posters who think it’s perfectly acceptable for their child not to carry spare masks but are kicking off because the bus driver didn’t have one to give her. At 13 your child should be responsible enough to ensure something they have needed for months and months is on their person, and if they’re not capable of doing so then YOU as a parent do that. Notice how she didn’t forget her mobile that day? Or ever I’m willing to bet.

The bus was also on school grounds so it’s hardly like the child was abandoned in a dodgy area, at 13 or even any high school age, it’s common sense to walk the few minutes back into the school building at speak to a teacher or office staff? Yes, check protocol if you’re genuinely worried about SEN children but until you’re clear on how this SHOULD have been handled it won’t get you anywhere going in all guns blazing calling for the bus driver to lose his job over enforcing a law.

Alternista · 15/06/2021 08:24

Also really surprised at how many people think the bus driver was in the wrong here.

She was left on school premises. She was safe. She could have gone to the office and they could have rung you, same as they would if she was sick in the middle of the day (except she didn’t need to, she had a phone and options).

The busses are really strict at my son’s secondary, if you’ve not got a mask or your bus pass that’s it, you’re not getting on. I’m fine with it- it’s made him be more organised which is part of what secondary school is all about. Bet she won’t forget to put a spare in her bag again!!

MrsBungle · 15/06/2021 08:24

@Boomisshiss yes really. At every secondary I’ve worked at!

DumplingsAndStew · 15/06/2021 08:25

@lanthanum

Do they not have members of school staff overseeing pupils getting on buses?

I had to come back to this. Do you seriously think high school kids should be supervised to make sure they get on a bus?

Biancadelrioisback · 15/06/2021 08:26

I think it's a battle of emotional brain Vs logical brain (that's how I always describe this anyways).
Emotional brain = I'd always hope that people will help my child in any way they can. My child is incredibly precious to me and I always want him safe and happy.
Logical brain = you have to be prepared (either with relevant equipment or knowledge) to deal with less than ideal situations. Other people's children and families matter just as much as my own so it wouldn't be fair to put them at risk by not following the rules (regardless of what I think of the rules).

OP your child dealt with the situation perfectly. They also had other options. I doubt in future they won't be prepared again.

Be proud that they were able to deal with the situation and help them take steps to avoid in future.

twelly · 15/06/2021 08:27

Another example of how a simple task such as getting on a bus is now complicated - yes jus a mask but it is easy to forgot. The other children on the bus will have had dirty masks , shared masks and if they eat anything won't need to wear one.

Tal45 · 15/06/2021 08:29

I'm a bit confused, you think the bus driver should be prepared with spare masks for someone else's child on an occasion such as this but it didn't occur to you that your daughter should be prepared with spare masks for an occasion such as this? If she knew she'd lost it why didn't she tell the school before she got the bus? They might have had a spare. If the bus driver let her on then you can guarantee that tomorrow everyone would have 'lost' their facemasks. She was at school and had a phone so really no problem, I'd just learn from it and move on.

RestingPandaFace · 15/06/2021 08:29

@AmadeustheAlpaca

The bus driver was completely out of order, it’s his job to make sure all pupils who regularly get the bus are transported home safely. Would he have done that to a large 17 year old male pupil? Much easier to be nasty to a 13 year girl. It’s hardly the crime of the century to forget a face mask and refusing a pupil entry on to the school bus is a safeguarding issue. All the Mumsnetters who think this is acceptable behaviour should take a long hard look at themselves, it’s very worrying what lockdown has done to people’s views of what is acceptable behaviour.
It’s the bus drivers job to drive the bus safely.

People seen to be overlooking that most bus companies treat their staff, especially their drivers as disposable. If he had let her on and another parent had complained or an inspector had got on he would have been disciplined or likely lost his job.

We was leaving her in school grounds not on the edge of the Bermuda Triangle.

HarrietPierce · 15/06/2021 08:30

"It's also daylight in summer, hardly an issue IMO."

Yes it's rare but Milly Dowler was 13 and on her way home from school.

pinkstripeycat · 15/06/2021 08:32

Aroundtheworldin80moves

The bus driver was in a difficult position. Let her on, he's not adhering to restrictions and others would gollow her lead.

And obviously leaving her behind isn't ideal.

Overall, I think he was right.

Oh yes he was right to leave a child on the side of the street! If she attacked I’m sure everyone would agree with you that at least she didn’t spread covid around the bus!

bigbluebus · 15/06/2021 08:35

[quote DumplingsAndStew]@lanthanum

Do they not have members of school staff overseeing pupils getting on buses?

I had to come back to this. Do you seriously think high school kids should be supervised to make sure they get on a bus?[/quote]
They did at my DS's secondary school - and he left 6 years ago. They even had a member of staff posted at the bus stop outside the school for those catching public service buses - and the school was in a large village/small town in a rural area - not a crime ridden inner city area. But as I said in my previous post, sometimes things happen after the bus has left the premises and DCs need to learn to think for themselves - as OPs DD did - successfully. A lot of fuss about nothing here I'm afraid! No wonder our DCs get to adulthood not knowing how to use public transport or find their way around strange areas if we molly coddle them over every little thing.

Whinge · 15/06/2021 08:35

Oh yes he was right to leave a child on the side of the street! If she attacked I’m sure everyone would agree with you that at least she didn’t spread covid around the bus!

Hmm He didn't leave on the side of the street. She was at school. Honestly the hyperbole on this thread is ridiculous.

BarbarianMum · 15/06/2021 08:36

Any child who cant find their way back from the school bus stop to the school should not really be using the service. If your child has no other safe way home then surely you've talked about what to do if they miss the bus? My kids take the public bus and know what their options are if it doesnt come for whatever reason. Or what to do if it's diverted, which has happened on occasion.

BetsyJameson · 15/06/2021 08:38

I don’t understand why you think the bus driver should carry spare masks, but not your daughter. It’s your responsibility to make sure she has spare masks. It’s always someone else’s fault.

tropicalwaterdiver · 15/06/2021 08:40

Can you give her some spare masks to keep in her school bag?

MrsBungle · 15/06/2021 08:43

I had to come back to this. Do you seriously think high school kids should be supervised to make sure they get on a bus?

We do. It’s not just about ensuring the kids get on the bus. It’s to support the drivers with any immediate behaviour issues or issues like no masks! It’s to ensure the bus park which has 8 buses in it and hundreds of children is well ordered and supervised.

BarbarianMum · 15/06/2021 08:45

Is your child never allowed "at the side of the street" alone then @pinkstripeycat? Do they go nowhere by themselves ever? Some secondary school children are allowed to walk home you know. Some take public transport.

Boomisshiss · 15/06/2021 08:45

[quote MrsBungle]@Boomisshiss yes really. At every secondary I’ve worked at![/quote]
I wonder if it’s a country thing I have never seen or heard of this anywhere near where I live. Past primary school that is.

Twoforthree · 15/06/2021 08:46

It’s your responsibility to ensure
A.she has spare masks
B. She goes back into school where they should contact someone to pick her up.

It’s not anyone else’s responsibility to fund expensive masks. Stop blaming others. She’s at secondary, not primary.

singsingbluesilver · 15/06/2021 08:47

It isn't winter. She was not just left on the street. She could have asked if the school had a spare when she lost hers. She should have more than one mask with her anyway for the whole day. The bus driver may have run out of spares. What was the driver supposed to do? She could have asked around her friends for a spare.

Iggly · 15/06/2021 08:48

I would say well done to your DD for taking the initiative to ring her Nan to get her home.

Lesson learned. Spare masks galore - she won’t forget again in a hurry. Sometimes our kids need to make this (minor) mistakes for things to really stick, instead of having parents there to anticipate about every possible situation.