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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No mask so school bus left my DD

492 replies

onanislandfaraway · 14/06/2021 22:34

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

OP posts:
Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 15/06/2021 06:25

I'm sure you know your own situation best and whether, in the specific circumstances, it was unsafe for your DD to be left. However, she seems switched on and aware about personal safety, so it must be reassuring for you to know that she will be able to deal with it should she find herself in a similar situation in the future.

I find it quite difficult to imagine that a 13yo was in particular danger in this situation, but I'm aware that's probably because of where we live. Around here (urban area), kids are quite used to travelling to school and around the city by themselves from around 11 onwards. Lots of them travel a fair distance to school by themselves using public transport, not school buses, and so they would be more than capable of fending for themselves if something like this happened. However, that's in the context of a busy urban area with lots of transport options, which I accept is probably completely different to where you live.

Sleepyblueocean · 15/06/2021 06:36

School are not responsible for school transport and it is the bus drivers decision who gets on, following whatever regulations he is given. School have no authority to intervene in this. Any problems you have should be taken up with school transport ( the council) or the transport operator if the transport isn't organised by the council. Although school would have supported her with allowing access to phones etc, if she said she couldn't get home.

Ariela · 15/06/2021 06:39

I thought you were going to say 9 or 10...but you know your child best. Sooner or later though she's going to have to do stuff off her own back - another 5 years on her won at Uni perhaps?
Given she's 13, masks are readily available often free in many places, personally I think it's great your daughter thought not to worry you and used her initiative and rang her nan to solve her problem, but also that now she will think ahead and carry a spare and maybe label her mask so nobody else pinches it?
It's also daylight in summer, hardly an issue IMO.

Caramellatteplease · 15/06/2021 06:46

She needs to keep a spare in her bag

Tumbleweed101 · 15/06/2021 07:01

A safeguarding issue. My children are ten miles from home and really wouldn’t be able to get home if the bus refused them. Would they have also refused if she’d said she was mask exempt? These children are likely mixing all day at school and I wouldn’t think all of them wear the mask correctly once on the bus and out of adult sight anyway.

Child safeguarding is far more important than wearing a mask. Most secondary school children are testing twice weekly anyway and wouldn’t be at school if they had any sign of Covid.

In that situation mine wouldn’t have had anyone to get them. I work til 6.30 and wouldn’t be able to leave my workplace.

DirectionsForUse · 15/06/2021 07:06

@Tumbleweed101

A safeguarding issue. My children are ten miles from home and really wouldn’t be able to get home if the bus refused them. Would they have also refused if she’d said she was mask exempt? These children are likely mixing all day at school and I wouldn’t think all of them wear the mask correctly once on the bus and out of adult sight anyway.

Child safeguarding is far more important than wearing a mask. Most secondary school children are testing twice weekly anyway and wouldn’t be at school if they had any sign of Covid.

In that situation mine wouldn’t have had anyone to get them. I work til 6.30 and wouldn’t be able to leave my workplace.

But in that situation, they'd go back to school and if you really couldn't get them home or school couldn't keep them safe until you got there, a Social Worker would be contacted. Of course safeguarding is important, but it's not the bus company's job.
Boomisshiss · 15/06/2021 07:07

Tumbleweed but she isn’t mask exempt so that point is irrelevant . If she was she wouldn’t have been wearing one the rest of the year. Not a safeguarding issue either she was left at her school. The parents sign up to agree to the rules when they apply for the bus pass. So it’s up to them to get the child if they aren’t following the law and aren’t allowed on the bus .

Cadent · 15/06/2021 07:07

@onanislandfaraway

OK I think some of you are missing the point so i'm off to bed after long ass day at work
YABU I’m afraid. She won’t forget again I bet.

I don’t think people are missing the point, just disagreeing with you.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 15/06/2021 07:08

“School are not responsible for school transport”

In rural areas they are. It is not public transport, it is a school bus, specifically to ensure that children can get to and from school because there is no other means of getting to and from school. The buses have behaviour policies, are funded by the council and are free if over 2/3 miles and within the catchment area. The drivers and buses are often local contractors but are very much commissioned by the local council.

Boomisshiss · 15/06/2021 07:10

Yes they are commissioned by the local council as you said and the school take nothing to do with them. Any issues with the school transport should not be raised with the school but the council who organise the bus.

headintheproverbial · 15/06/2021 07:11

For all those saying the child should have had a spare mask - YES, BUT the child should never have been left standing alone on the street as a result.

Surely there is a responsibility there to ensure that she has some other way of getting home if they won't take her. Or even ensure she's handed back over to the care of the school?!

newnortherner111 · 15/06/2021 07:12

I have often used the phrase 'face covering' as it need not be a mask, and saddened that no-one (driver, teacher, other pupil) did not recognise this and suggest it.

Are you 100% sure it was a refusal to be allowed travel, or the expectation this would happen?

Pootle40 · 15/06/2021 07:12

Anyone who thinks this is ok should give their head a wobble.

Boomisshiss · 15/06/2021 07:13

@headintheproverbial

For all those saying the child should have had a spare mask - YES, BUT the child should never have been left standing alone on the street as a result.

Surely there is a responsibility there to ensure that she has some other way of getting home if they won't take her. Or even ensure she's handed back over to the care of the school?!

She is 13 she was left at the school . I’m sure she can manage to walk back into the school she just left . The driver didn’t have to walk her back same as I’m sure he doesn’t go into the school and collect all the children and walk them to the school bus. She is 13 not 7.
Pootle40 · 15/06/2021 07:13

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

Masks do absolutely nothing, he was out of order.
Precisely what an insane world this is.
DirectionsForUse · 15/06/2021 07:15

My DSs often walked the 3 miles home because they missed the bus, from age 11. That was their choice, but if they'd admitted their mistake gone to the school office, school allowed them to use the phone and wait there until I got there.

I really think DD handled this fine, but if she'd needed/asked for help she would have got it.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/06/2021 07:17

When my children used school buses we had to sign a behaviour contract. Not following the rules led to not being able to use the the bus. I expect Covid restrictions are in the contracts now.

(Which are more logical than promising my 4yo won't smoke or drink alcohol on the bus...)

At secondary, the bus driver was only responsible for those who turned up for the bus. The longest distance was 90minutes for 40km.

custardbear · 15/06/2021 07:18

That's really awful, some people are so bloody pedantic and yet unhelpful - which is particularly awful for kids - I'm not saying the bus driver was but he /she could have been a bit more accommodating by telling her to ask the office fir a spare etc - I can't believe they wouldn't have at least 1 spare

I'd make sure she always has an extra hidden emergency spare - as well as a big standard spare or two, so there's always something hidden in her bag
Very crappy

DirectionsForUse · 15/06/2021 07:20

If he'd let her on she wouldn't be the only one, that day or any day and you'd have a raft of parents complaining that masks on buses wasn't being enforced

DirectionsForUse · 15/06/2021 07:21

Loving the idea that the bus driver would only need one spare Grin

lollipoprainbow · 15/06/2021 07:21

I would have been livid, definitely complain.

Billandben444 · 15/06/2021 07:22

5 miles is too far for a 13-yr old girl to walk safely on her own through country lanes - come on people!! Going back into school to get a new mask would have been sensible but the bus still wouldn't have waited for her. She coped admirably and made the right decisions though she might have had spare PE kit in her bag she could have used as a temporary cover? Anyway, your post was about whether the driver was right or wrong and I think he was in the right actually - I'm surprised nobody on the bus offered up a spare one though. Your daughter did well and is mature enough to not want mum to make a fuss. I suppose you could buy a box of disposable masks to give to the bus driver in case it happens again to a younger/less socially aware child? That would be a good result.

Looneytune253 · 15/06/2021 07:22

She's THIRTEEN I think most are missing this point. Nothing wrong with a thirteen year old being alone for a while. People are so dramatic. Do the school not supply spare masks if they've forgotten or whatever? They probably should but stick a few in her bag for now. I can see where you're coming from but it's defo not the schools or the bus drivers fault. He's just following the rules

lollipoprainbow · 15/06/2021 07:24

She is 13, she is not a young child. My dd always has a handful of masks in case she looses one. She needs to take responsibility.

Patronising much ??????

Brefugee · 15/06/2021 07:25

she's 13 and has now learned a valuable life-lesson: carry spares (tampons, tights, masks) and it's not as if she were left in the middle of a dodgy area at midnight.

Don't make a fuss to the school and definitely not about the driver - he was right to exclude a maskless kid. (you might ask the bus company if they could keep spares to sell to the forgetful ones, but then she'd have to remember to have cash too)

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