No mask so school bus left my DD

[onanislandfaraway]

Both me and my DP was at work today so my 13yo DD has to be home alone for a couple of hours until DP gets home at 6pm. I texted her asking did she get home OK and she told me she'd lost her mask during a sports session at school and that the school bus wouldn't let her on so left her at school.

She didn't want to hassle me or DP at work so rang her nan to pick her up and thank god she was able to and only lives a 15 minute drive away so wasn't waiting around too long. Her school is in the next town over to where we live so way too far for her to walk home. AIBU to think that the school bus is responsible for getting children home and should not have just left her at the school? Shouldn't they have spare masks just incase of instances like this? I will of course be making sure she has plenty of spare masks in her bag, to be honest she did use to carry a few spares but didn't happen to have any today. I am quite angry that they've done this.

@DirectionsForUse

She'd even walked down to a pub car park as that's where some kids' parents pick them up as easier to get to than the school car park and the pub is on a main road at least a 10 minute walk from the school so didn't really like that she was waiting there for her nan.

Surely there's something wrong if a 13yo can't safely walk 10 mins along a road and wait in a public place at 3pm (ish) in the afternoon.

I'm going to bet there's a process for this and she could have got a mask if she'd tried. She decided it was easier to fetch nan out.

This! My 13 year old misses the school bus sometimes...so she walks to a main bus stop a couple of miles away...and catches a normal bus home.

What's wrong with a 13 year old going for a walk!?

It’s completely out of proportion. Every working mothers worst nightmare. YANBU.

still concerned that this is the procedure

What is "the procedure" actually when a pupil is, for whatever reason, unable to board the bus home?

If your DD knew what she was supposed to do and didn't do it - for example, she didn't return to the school because she expected to be punished for losing her face covering - then you don't really have any grounds to complain.

It’s down the parent to ensure the child has a plan of action home. Lots if kids get held up in class and miss the bus . It’s not primary school where a register is taken to ensure they are all on. They are all old enough to fend for themselves . I make sure my kids have emergency money in their bags so they could get a taxi etc

I'd definitely raise it, there are some children at my child's school who think it's funny to rip the masks off other children's faces and throw them, we've gone through so many mask bacause of it even though my kids have spares in their bags.

How far do you live from the school? My children’s school is 7 miles from us and they’ve regularly walked home when the weather is nice.
Your DD could have rung you, her dad, she did ring her nan and she is fine. I think this is a non-issue.

I'd raise it. It's a school bus. They should have some spares and charge for them to stop the regular "forgetters". Yes, it was her mistake, but I think it was ott. Fwiw, I don't think not wanting your kids to walk five miles, along secluded roads is weird - i do think it's very very weird to think that's ok!

Leaving a 13-year-old stranded is awful.

Surely he could have asked her to cover her face with whatever was in her bag.

Or pointedly asked her if she had an exemption because if she does she can come on the bus and does not need to show evidence (hint, hint).

I would think an adult would make some effort to help a child find a solution on the fly, not just leave them stranded. Kids are not as good as problem-solving or dealing with unplanned contingencies as adults.

Presumably this driver has driven this bus before? If they have, they will know which stop your daughter gets off at, which suggests to me it can't be too far to walk.

It's not great that she wasn't allowed on the bus, but the driver might have thought she was older than 13, or thought that she'd have the usual freedoms 13 year olds have.

You shouldn't be having kittens at the thought of your 13 year old walking 10 minutes down the road at 3pm to a car park. She should be allowed more freedom than that.

Same goes for walking through secluded places. If she's not allowed now, then when would be a good time?

She sounds responsible and I think you're in danger of smothering her.

The bus driver was completely out of order, it’s his job to make sure all pupils who regularly get the bus are transported home safely. Would he have done that to a large 17 year old male pupil? Much easier to be nasty to a 13 year girl. It’s hardly the crime of the century to forget a face mask and refusing a pupil entry on to the school bus is a safeguarding issue. All the Mumsnetters who think this is acceptable behaviour should take a long hard look at themselves, it’s very worrying what lockdown has done to people’s views of what is acceptable behaviour.

@0None0

5 miles is not ‘way to far to walk’. 3 miles each way is considered standard legally. Every school will have dozens of children that walk 3 miles each way each day, so walking 5 miles in one direction would be less distance walked in a day than government guidelines.

And we certainly have children walking further than 3 miles.

My school was only four miles away... Along a duel carriage way. It isn't always about the distance but how safe it is to walk.

@AmadeustheAlpaca

The bus driver was completely out of order, it’s his job to make sure all pupils who regularly get the bus are transported home safely. Would he have done that to a large 17 year old male pupil? Much easier to be nasty to a 13 year girl. It’s hardly the crime of the century to forget a face mask and refusing a pupil entry on to the school bus is a safeguarding issue. All the Mumsnetters who think this is acceptable behaviour should take a long hard look at themselves, it’s very worrying what lockdown has done to people’s views of what is acceptable behaviour.

It’s also his job to follow the rules about mask wearing, it might be more than his job is worth to allow kids on with no masks. It doesn’t sound like he was nasty, just doing his job. Shes 13 not 10. She worked it out.

I don't think that the bus driver was that unreasonable. She's 13 and clearly knew what to do in this situation.

I remember both missing the school bus and not being allowed on as I'd lost my pass at that age (early 00's). I don't think I even found it scary. I'd try and call home on my mobile and if that wasn't an option I'd go back up to the school office. There was always at least 1 after-school club you could sit in on while you waited.

I'd raise it. It's a school bus. They should have some spares and charge for them to stop the regular "forgetters"

What, really, you'd expect the bus to have spares for people saying they don't have a mask on the?!
Errrr, no.
Keep your mask on you.
I say this with a late teen who is always bloody forgetting his mask. Consequences, innit?!

Masks do absolutely nothing, he was out of order.

@Stompythedinosaur

She wasn't abandoned in the middle of no where, she was at school. If she hadn't been able to get a lift she had adults she could ask for help.

I think it is yours and your dd's responsibility to have a mask plus spares. It be happy that the driver is keeping dc safe by sticking to the rules.

Perfect parent eh!

The school bus left her at school, on the grounds. Not on the street. Stiill, I agree that leaving her was dangerous. The bus driver no doubt expected her to return to school, and she proved that children make bad decisions snd cannot reliably be left behind to sort themselves out.

I would talk to dd about what to do in an unexpected situation, because she made some poor choices (leaving school to wait in a pub carpark) and some good ones (calling Nan). She got herself home safely.

That bus needed to weigh up the risk of lesving her v the risk of lettiing her on and I think they chose wrongly.

@AmadeustheAlpaca

The bus driver was completely out of order, it’s his job to make sure all pupils who regularly get the bus are transported home safely. Would he have done that to a large 17 year old male pupil? Much easier to be nasty to a 13 year girl. It’s hardly the crime of the century to forget a face mask and refusing a pupil entry on to the school bus is a safeguarding issue. All the Mumsnetters who think this is acceptable behaviour should take a long hard look at themselves, it’s very worrying what lockdown has done to people’s views of what is acceptable behaviour.

No it’s not his responsibility is to drive the bus. His responsibility is the protection of himself and all the other children on the bus who are wearing masks. He is told to follow the rules no exceptions(unless for a medical need ) which the OPs daughter clearly doesn’t have . As he will see her wearing one everyday . When the parents apply for the bus they are told rules will have to be followed . If not no bus pass . They are not primary aged children .

It's not the bus drivers responsibility to ensure your daughter obides by their rules its your daughters. At 13 she is old enough to ensure she has what she needs for the say with her and at the moment that includes a mask.

She has now learnt to be more careful and to carry spares. Tbe driver has helped her to learn a valuable lesson. You should be grateful tbe bus driver is teaching her an independence that you appear to be failing to do.

Do schools not keep spares for kids or staff who might lose theirs during the day?

@AmadeustheAlpaca

The bus driver was completely out of order, it’s his job to make sure all pupils who regularly get the bus are transported home safely. Would he have done that to a large 17 year old male pupil? Much easier to be nasty to a 13 year girl. It’s hardly the crime of the century to forget a face mask and refusing a pupil entry on to the school bus is a safeguarding issue. All the Mumsnetters who think this is acceptable behaviour should take a long hard look at themselves, it’s very worrying what lockdown has done to people’s views of what is acceptable behaviour.

Exactly this. Masks aren’t the be all and end all of life, they shouldn’t be becoming such normality for kids to the point they're banned from a SCHOOL BUS for forgetting/losing one, it’s absolutely ridiculous and whilst yes they should be wearing them, there has to be some common sense and leeway.

People are failing to realise that schools that have an actual school bus are usually schools in rural and secluded areas, so whilst a 5 mile walk in a city might not be as bad, a 5 mile walk through forests, country roads etc etc would be incredibly dangerous. So no YANBU. He has failed to properly safeguard a child, I’d be fuming!

He hasn’t failed to safeguard anyone she was left at the school not in the middle of nowhere . She could have went into to school and said what she had done and why she wasn’t allowed on the school bus and they would have contacted her parents . Infact it is actually the law that face masks must be worn on designated transport for all those over 11. So he in-fact was just following the law. Would you break the law at your work I know I wouldn’t risk my job.

I think by now your daughter should know the rules regarding masks, as should you. She should be aware to carry spares, it's not due to the bus company to have them. She also was left on school premises, no safeguarding risk. Maybe remind her there are consequences rather than trying to blame the bus company for no spares.

The bus driver was right. He followed the rules to protect the others on the bus, and left her in school. Not in the middle of nowhere. Why didn't she walk back inside and find a teacher?

She's 13, she has a phone, she rang someone and they collected her.

If her nan hadn't been available, then one of you would have had to collect her. It is your responsibility as parents.

Don't you have a 'get home' plan? My ds (12) knows that if he gets stuck anywhere he is to ring me or his dad and I will arrange for someone to collect him, or I'll call him a cab. His phone is set to reverse-charge call ours.
If his phone is flat, he is to find someone in a uniform - police, traffic warden, NHS, M&S / JLP assistant, postman and ask to use a phone.

Having said that, our school keeps spare masks, as I expect your daughter's school does if she had asked. But surely she would have been wearing a mask all day in corridors and communal areas. What happened to that one?

The bus driver should have been supplied for spares, exactly for this situation.

It's like when a young child on their own tries to board and doesn't have enough money - sometimes you have to consider whether leaving the passenger behind would be a safeguarding concern. I remember reading many years ago about a young girl who was refused boarding who was later attacked when trying to walk home instead. I thought bus drivers were supposed to use discretion following that.

If you do the same route day in, day out, you're going to have a fairly good idea of which teens are taking the piss, and are quite safe in a large pack off your bus, and which kids have made a genuine mistake and would potentially be vulnerable if you left them off.

I'd say the bus company are probably in the wrong for not giving the bus driver the right equipment. The bus driver is possibly in the wrong for not shouting down the bus to ask if any of the kids had a spare mask to give to your DD. I'd imagine at least a few of the more responsible ones were wearing a cloth mask and had some disposables in their bag.

Leaving a child behind has got to be a last resort, and only something you do after radioing the depot to check that there's a solution in place.