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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"I can't go out because I have a kitten" aibu?

126 replies

harrietsunshine · 14/06/2021 19:13

My friend has just got a kitten who is 4 months old.
She lives at home with her Dad (my friend not the kitten)
Anyway I said in a couple of weeks shall we do lunch ..her response
" I won't be able to because of the kitten,I can't leave her,I have to pop to the shops when she's asleep"

So I said "your dads home and lunch is only a hour"

She said "no she's too fast for him and we leave the patio doors open"
So I suggested maybe closing the doors for a hour

She said "I have responsibilities now and this is my life at home with her"

I mean surely you wouldn't let a kitten rule your life ?Grin
Imagine if she had a job ..would she never go to work again.
Aibu to think this is bat shit ?

OP posts:
Skyla2005 · 14/06/2021 21:58

If she didn't say come here for lunch instead the chances are she doesn't want to see you ! Sorry

category12 · 14/06/2021 21:58

Parking threads require diagrams, kitten threads require photos. It's in the terms and conditions of use of this site.

Maggiesfarm · 14/06/2021 22:08

Bless. When kitten grrows up a bit more she will be able to leave it for longer.

June2021 · 14/06/2021 22:09

@harrietsunshine

Your friend has turned into one of those batshit 'fluffbaby' oddballs similar to the 'furbaby' oddballs - some people completely lose their brains and all common sense when they purchase a pet cat or dog. Probably something lacking in their life and they imagine that they are a real life baby and treat as such.

Find another friend, she is lost to you now since the cat will take over her brain.

June2021 · 14/06/2021 22:13

These sorts of people always remind me of the poem that says:

"When I get old and lose my marbles I will wear purple, keep cats and smell of piss. Everyone will think it's the cats though"

Never remember who the poem is by but very apt with the cat keeping people I know.

PixieDust28 · 14/06/2021 22:16

@HappySwordMaker

Interesting. My BIL is like this, but with his two dogs. He says he can’t possibly work (hasn’t done in years), or attend social/family events (pre COVID obs). Utter frustrating madness. He gets really angry when we pull him up on it, and when I suggested he shouldn’t get another dog when these two pass away, he flew into a rage. Since then, when we’ve visited he bizarrely starts brushing the dogs’ teeth in front of us (with a human toothbrush - his own maybe? and children’s toothpaste). He does this to prove to us that his dogs are a full time job. I’ve truly barely seen him do anything else but nurse his dogs.

I have a pooch that I love to bits, but bloody hell he’s next level batshit with his.

Right. That's it.

I'm handing my notice in. Brushing my teeth is now a full time job.

You had me at his own toothbrush Grin.

saraclara · 14/06/2021 22:18

@Fluffycloudland77

4 months is still very young, if she’s not spayed and gets out she could get pg.

To a cat person it’s not unreasonable to be like this.

Do cat people not go to work?

As per a pp, we got our various cats (over a 40 year period) as kittens over half term holidays etc, then both of us went back to work, and the kids (during the kid decades) to school.

No-one would ever get a kitten if they couldn't leave the house for an hour in the first few months.

PixieDust28 · 14/06/2021 22:18

What makes me laugh is. She won't come out because the kitten needs her.

I think she has a shock coming to her when she realises that once they're bigger, sometimes they do anything to avoid you.

ichundich · 14/06/2021 22:20

That doesn't sound healthy! I know someone who hasn't been away overnight once since getting her 2 cats 3 years ago. Apparently 'because they were wild rescues they wouldn't cope with a sitter or a cattery' 😳.

saraclara · 14/06/2021 22:22

She said "I have responsibilities now and this is my life at home with her"

Insane. She's lost it. What was she like pre-kitten? Has covid got to her? And does she have a job?

BaronessOfTheNorth · 14/06/2021 22:29

@UnaOfStormhold

Cats and kittens across the internet are admiring this kitten's control of her human and would be keen to sign up for courses on the techniques she uses.
😅😅😅😅😅😅
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 15/06/2021 06:47

Yup! Get this from friends, and also with puppies. I used to find it funny then people would say that they understood my experience parenting two severely disabled children (eg the mess and night wake ups) because they got a puppy. That was annoying.

Also "I've got responsibilities now" 🤣

MiddlesexGirl · 15/06/2021 06:51

@Faranth

It sounds to me more like she can't trust her Dad not to let the kitten out, whether by accident or on purpose, and she doesn't want to risk it!
Absolutely this. It's a really hot spell. The doors will be open.
MiddlesexGirl · 15/06/2021 06:55

It's also not uncommon for breeders not to release kittens until around 14 weeks as 8 weeks is considered too young to separate them from their mum.

Original poster
harrietsunshine · 15/06/2021 08:58

I just don't think it's really realistic to say I can't ever go out now because I have a kitten.
Wouldn't you be fed up staying in every single day.
I have a dog but I couldn't sit in with him 24/7

OP posts:
EachandEveryone · 15/06/2021 09:06

I take it the kitten is due to be spayed have you asked her if she’s booked her in? After that she will be more relaxed.

stayathomer · 16/06/2021 06:15

Yes to the people saying about spaying- cats get pregnant at the drop of a hat, it was hell trying to keep them in until they went to the vets, op if her kitten gets out she could be back and your friend might have 5 for the price of one so I totally get it now!

ememem84 · 16/06/2021 06:23

@MinkeDinkie

"I mean surely you wouldn't let a kitten rule your life ?"

You have clearly never owned a cat Grin

But yeah that's bonkers. Even my cat let's me out for an hour or two Wink

Absolutely.
newnortherner111 · 16/06/2021 06:54

I think it is an extreme response, as someone who loves cats. It should not be forever though as once the kitten is a cat, I am sure that being left alone for a couple of hours will not be an issue.

It may mean your friendship is limited or sadly ends, which I can appreciate may be painful.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/06/2021 06:58

It is 100% mad but exactly what I would do Grin how could anyone leave the little baby.

Majorfluff · 16/06/2021 07:20

FFSHmm

standupsitdownturnaround · 16/06/2021 07:28

Awww if she's being a bit extra about it who cares? Either it matters to her a lot and she's taking it v seriously, or she doesn't want to go to lunch and she's annoyed with you pushing it.

I find it insufferable when I excuse myself from something and someone argues with my rationale. I'm an adult and I would've said yes if could/wanted to.

I'd leave her be and see if she wants to catch up another time.

Veterinari · 16/06/2021 07:43

I assume she's concerned an in neutered kitten will get outside?
Advise her that neutering from 4 months is recommended so she should be spayed ASAP

www.thecatgroup.org.uk/policy_statements/neut.html

looptheloopinahulahoop · 16/06/2021 07:44

Leave it a few weeks OP. Cats are way more independent than dogs and once the kitten is a bit older it will be out all day prowling around or asleep somewhere.

Unless it's a house cat? In which case you might have to give up the friendship now. I presume she doesn't have a job??

Nishky · 16/06/2021 07:53

I am allergic to cats and have to ‘own’ them vicariously - 4 pages of people who own cats and not one photo- come on people 😄

Oh and if anyone knows a cat allergy cure……