To think dd should save half of her wages?

[cagesnflowers]

Dd14 has her first summer job. She earns about at least 150 a week (175 will be the max in the height of summer!)

I think she should be saving at least 50 a week if not half,
Dh disagrees and says to leave her be. She's only 14. She will be babysitting most weekends though so she will earn a bit more with that!

Aibu? Wwyd?

@PlanDeRaccordement I won't be controlling anything. She has her own bank account.

Encourage her to save, talk to her about what she might like to save up for thats achievable (new phone, specific clothes, trip with her mates etc) but it’s really up to her.

Most people have to learn the lesson that if you blow all your money as soon as you have it you can’t get X thing you really want because you don’t have money left. It’s much better to learn at 14 with babysitting money than in their 20s with real wages! Speaking as someone who learned the lesson way too late!

I don't think it would be unreasonable to suggest to her that she could save some of her earnings for when she wants a new phone, concert tickets, big shopping trip with friends etc (things that could be the case in the near future, nothing too abstract or far away). But then leave it at that.

Fine to say she needs to pay board, or contribute to costs i.e. dictate expectations from you, but i don't see how you're helping her by randomly coming up with a 50% figure for saving.

Surely it's up to her to manage her own cash, and this is an excellent training ground to do it?

For what it's worth, i'm excellent at managing cash - i always had clear expectations around "£X is expected for board", the rest was mine to handle.

Board? From a 14 year old with a summer job?

If you can’t waste money at 14 then when can you. Let her be, she will soon figure it out herself.

Similar experience to a PP. I paid my parents board and had responsibility for the rest. I'm pretty good at budgeting because of that. My DH had parents who tried to instil financial responsibility so he squandered his money away as soon as he moved out and had the freedom to do as he pleased. Never got into serious debt but struggled to meet unexpected expenses. It's only in the past couple of years that he's really learned to budget responsibly.

You are getting a ridiculously hard time on here and some people really need to read the op. You know your dd best, not strangers on the Internet. If she is the kind of girl who would waste it on tat from primark then you should encourage her to save some of her wage, either by giving you a set amount so you can save it for her or better yet moving it into a savings account as soon as she gets paid. The rest she can do with what she wants as she is 14. If she is the type of child that would save anyway just encourage her to do so. I wouldn't expect her to pay for things like clothes and makeup all the time as she is still a minor. If she had a part time job at 16 then apart from providing the basics I would expect her to buy and budget for things she might want. There is absolutely no harm in encouraging her to save and it is a good habit to get into. Yanbu to encourage her to save but I think she is some way off having to save for presents for siblings (only 14) unless she wants to.

Encourage her to save for a car for future needs.

@MagentaRocks

If you can’t waste money at 14 then when can you. Let her be, she will soon figure it out herself.

Exactly If I were you, I’d love to see her blow the lot on cinema visits, tat from primark and basically going a bit crazy this summer

Similar experience to a PP. I paid my parents board and had responsibility for the rest.

When you were 14?

I'm pretty good at budgeting because of that.

I never paid a penny in board and am also good at budgeting.

@Moonshine11

She’s young to be saving I think, let her enjoy her wages.

Madness!

First wages that add up to that kind of amount is the perfect time to teach the power of saving.

@cagesnflowers does she have anything in mind that costs a decent amount of money - laptop, moped/car when she is old enough? Having a savings account that is specifically for that item might be a good thing.

Nothing to stop her blowing a proportion of her wages, but the amounts you are talking are large sums, the same as if not more than some families live off. Not something a 14 year old needs to be taught to consider 'pocket money'.

This is one of those times that MN surprises me with the apparent attitude towards money of some, suggesting frittering it away on crap and not considering the long term isn't in any way sensible, or even muhch fun. Just wasteful and stupid!

I do think encouraging saving is a great thing.

And will make life easier later if she has a good sum towards driving lessons or uni or whatever.
But at 14 all of that is a long way off.

How about showing her some budgeting/money management apps. So she at least gets into the habit of tracking her spending.

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP.

My DCs have always had to save 50% of their earnings. They each have a few thousand in the bank for when they need it. They've added half of their birthday money each year and any inheritances they've received.

DD will more than likely fritter hers away now we've handed it over. She's 20 but DS will keep saving and has said it'll go towards deposit on a house which we said we'd match for both of them. DS wants to buy a house ASAP and rent a few rooms out to friends so he's on the housing ladder early.

If they've been sensible it will give them a good nest egg and they'll appreciate the hard work they've put in to earn it or save gifted monies.

We pay for everything else, uni, schools, gifts for family, clothes etc because we think it's important for them to get into the habit of saving.

If they want a big item which they have to save for (DS mainly stupidly expensive trainers) I buy them and they'll pay me back but still continue to save 50%.

It's a good life lesson, they still have a bigger percentage of their earnings to fritter away than we do.

@quizqueen

Encourage her to save for a car for future needs.

Not everyone wants or needs a car.

While I might think that is a good idea,it doesn’t really matter
It’s entirely her decision x

@Bluntness100 and you don't agree with teaching your children that life is about giving too and not always receiving?? I know when I was her age (and still now actually) I enjoyed getting/making presents for my family and she does too

Um, I can teach my kid that but not go to thr extreme youre going to

Your husband is right, back down.

Encouraging her to save is one thing. Deciding why she needs to save and what for, and what she should spend her savings on is another matter altogether.

The only way to do it is to have a 'chatty' chat about how pleased you are she is earning so much money for herself, and ask her whether she has any plans for what to do with it. You could casually mention that if she saved X per week until she leaves school she'd have the money for driving lessons already saved up. You could mention that she might like to put some aside for larger purchases like a new phone or concert tickets or whatever. What you can't do is tell her that she should be saving. She needs to decide that for herself.

YABU. She's 14 years old.

She'll probably blow the first couple of paycheques and then start getting into the habit of saving as she gets older and wants to start paying for things like nights out, driving lessons, a car etc.

I think if she is earning but not saving, you could ask for some as "board" and save this on her behalf, then when she needs it, driving lessons, car, uni etc you can give it back to her.

I would encourage saving even just £20 a week incase they want something in future also it helps them with money management as they grow but I wouldn't force her to save it she's worked hard for it she can spend it.

@CatRatSplat

I think if she is earning but not saving, you could ask for some as "board" and save this on her behalf, then when she needs it, driving lessons, car, uni etc you can give it back to her.

Board?! She’s 14! What on earth is the matter with you?

@CatRatSplat

I think if she is earning but not saving, you could ask for some as "board" and save this on her behalf, then when she needs it, driving lessons, car, uni etc you can give it back to her.

Asking a 14 yet old for board. Are you serious?

[quote cagesnflowers]@Bluntness100 and you don't agree with teaching your children that life is about giving too and not always receiving?? I know when I was her age (and still now actually) I enjoyed getting/making presents for my family and she does too!!

@Meatshake again I never said I would "dictate" anything. I wish ppl would stop implying that I'm am going to force this. It was a mere difference of opinions between myself and dh that sparked this. That is all!! [/quote]
Well if she enjoys giving people presents she can choose to do that. She doesn’t need any hints from you about using her earnings to buy presents for you and your other children. You were obviously planning to do more than just have an opinion as your husband has already had to tell you to leave her be. She has a lifetime of managing household finances ahead of her, leave her be seems like great advice.

You can suggest it, pointing out if she wants to buy a new phone, earphones, game whatever else, any designer clothes beyond basics she will have her money to use, if not she will be without.
I'd also expect her to contribute some money towards bills etc. This has been the case for everyone I grew up with. Then got a paper round, baby sitting job etc, a little went in the family pot. I think that is a good life lesson. But these days seems unpopular..... However I would still expect a contribution.

[quote cagesnflowers]@Bluntness100 and you don't agree with teaching your children that life is about giving too and not always receiving?? I know when I was her age (and still now actually) I enjoyed getting/making presents for my family and she does too!!

@Meatshake again I never said I would "dictate" anything. I wish ppl would stop implying that I'm am going to force this. It was a mere difference of opinions between myself and dh that sparked this. That is all!! [/quote]
But telling her she should save '£50 if not half" is dictating what she should be doing.

Which is why I said be a good example, explain what you do and why and ultimately let her make the decision.