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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you allow your 16 year old & friends to drink in your home?

122 replies

DonGray · 13/06/2021 23:26

My teen wants to host mates to watch the Euros and someone has asked if they can bring beer - I'm undecided about this

YABU - I let them drink
YANBU - no booze when I host

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 13/06/2021 23:27

I would allow them one or two if their parents all knew and agreed

Summersun2020 · 13/06/2021 23:32

Yes I would allow it.

CoRhona · 13/06/2021 23:52

No. But we have younger DC and I don't want teens drinking here.

Pinkylemons · 13/06/2021 23:54

No, definitely not unless I knew the parents and they were ok with it.

SpiesRUs · 13/06/2021 23:57

Yes I would if the other parents were ok with it, if they are going to drink they will find a way to get their hands on alcohol.

I would rather that they do it at home, in a safe environment, rather than like I did, drinking in the woods and getting myself into unsafe situations.

SpiesRUs · 13/06/2021 23:57

Oh and beer / cider yes, spirits is a no.

nimbuscloud · 13/06/2021 23:59

No.

Aria2015 · 14/06/2021 00:00

Yes I'd allow beers. I was allowed to drink sensibly at home at that age and I think it's safer to be drinking at home than illegally out and about. I'd limit it though so no one can go too mad! If they're not used to drinking, just a few beers each should be enough.

Comefromaway · 14/06/2021 00:03

No.

I allowed dd to have one drink at that age (she liked gin) & when she went to stay with a friend for a week friends mum asked if she was allowed one there and I said yes. But I am not willing to be responsible for other people’s children drinking alcohol in my house.

BackforGood · 14/06/2021 00:05

No.
At that age, they could have some if it were a family event, and adults were there and it was going to be 'a beer', but I wouldn't want to be the parents where they think "oh, X's Mum lets all the lads round to drink", especially before 6th form.

TwatCat · 14/06/2021 00:17

No I wouldn't. I'd personally be ok with it, but I wouldn't "allow" it as I wouldn't want to be seen as condoning it. If that makes sense.

SpindleWhorl · 14/06/2021 00:18

It's not as simple as yes or no, is it?

Do their parents agree? How do you actually know?

How are they getting home?

Are any of them, or one of them, likely to feel pressured?

Is it really just beer? What strength? Stella is twice as strong as Skol, for example.

Are they going to be having snacks?

I've bored myself now; but you get my drift.

lotstolose1 · 14/06/2021 00:22

Yes I'd allow it. Make sure you tell the friends that you're only allowing it if their parents have okay'ed it - you don't want any angry parents coming for you.

Maggiesfarm · 14/06/2021 02:50

Yes as long as the other parents were in agreement. They'll do it anyway.

romdowa · 14/06/2021 02:56

I wouldn't allow it on the basis that you will make a rod for your own back and your house will probably become the place to chill out and drink. Plus I wouldn't want the responsibility of other people's inebriated teenagers

welliesarefuntowear · 14/06/2021 03:03

I would as before. If other parents knew. But it's fine and reasonable to say no. If you've got other younger children I would. It's an absolute minefield. I am of the opinion that currently drugs are far more prevalent than alcohol use in teenagers.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 14/06/2021 03:13

I can't see the voting buttons.

Occasionally, it's not a regular thing by any means. We all just let the other parents know in case they have any objection though.

Nittersing · 14/06/2021 03:17

No. Not ever.

jimmyjammy001 · 14/06/2021 04:34

YABU - it was the norm 15 years ago for 16 year olds to drink at home, a minority spoiled it and now everyone is really strict, its a few beers at the end of the day, I would want them to be having the same sort of fun I was having with my mates at that age and that involved alcohol.

itsgettingwierd · 14/06/2021 04:49

At 16 I'd allow 2 can or bottles of beer each max.

It's quite normal to have a beer at home from that age in teens that want a drink.

But I'd also want to know the parents agreed to it.

Skengman · 14/06/2021 04:51

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HarebrightCedarmoon · 14/06/2021 05:25

I'm not sure how you extrapolate that they will have "feral kids" from their asking other parents whether they mind if their kids have a can of lager round at your house. I don't think she was proposing sending them down the park with a bottle of vodka in a paper bag each.

Skengman · 14/06/2021 05:28

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Tossblanket · 14/06/2021 06:32

I will be when my son is around that age.

It's going to happen, like it did for most of us.

Better somewhere safe than out on the streets.

MoiraNotRuby · 14/06/2021 06:37

I have a 16 year old, I would allow this. And would supply chips/pizza/something to soak it up.