#whataboutweddings

[Workyticket]

Thousands of people are gathering for the Euros and at Edgebasten.

Pissed people hugging and dancing in pubs when someone scores

Boris and his pals flying in from Amber countries had a lovely garden party.

BUT weddings are super spreaders apparently and it's looking like we'll miss out on having friends and family at our OUTDOOR wedding by 3 days if pushback rumours are true.

250,000 couples are waiting for tomorrow's announcement. Could these businesses are facing closure..

#whataboutweddings

[quote LeopardHawk]@Dervel But OP's not shown any empathy for anyone. She has dismissed and mocked everyone who has shared their often very distressing experiences.[/quote]
Because she wants to discuss an issue that matters to her. There are plenty of threads to discuss bereavement.

Thank you to those of you who understand. I'm not engaging with shite comments, I'm already probably too messy for aibu!

I've re-read my comments and even in my fuzzy state I don't think I've been horrible about people's loss. I'd be heartbroken if I thought I had.

This stings a bit. Canapes, drinks and chat, a bbq, a cute kid to fuss over... throw in a registrar and they're not far off what we were aiming for

[quote LeopardHawk]@Dervel But OP's not shown any empathy for anyone. She has dismissed and mocked everyone who has shared their often very distressing experiences.[/quote]
The OP is allowed to have a thread where she complains about how restrictions are affecting her. It does not change how restrictions are affecting others.

FWIW I think that people who had to cancel weddings are deserving of sympathy for having a major life event cancelled. Yes we all have had events cancelled but today OP is feeling low about things and is not unreasonable in the slightest for feeling sorry for herself. If I was in her shoes then today and tomorrow would be dragging on massively.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

I bet everyone saying "it's not about the party" had the fucking party as well.

Sorry, you lose your bet. I didn't 'have the fucking party'.

I find it difficult to believe that a woman in her forties can have this attitude to something as meaningless as a bloody wedding party at a time when so many people have lost so much, and continue to do so, both in the UK and around the world.

[quote LeopardHawk]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

I bet everyone saying "it's not about the party" had the fucking party as well.

Sorry, you lose your bet. I didn't 'have the fucking party'.

I find it difficult to believe that a woman in her forties can have this attitude to something as meaningless as a bloody wedding party at a time when so many people have lost so much, and continue to do so, both in the UK and around the world.[/quote]
As meaningless as a wedding party?

Frankly that's disgusting. It's not meaningless to any normal person.

It's not misery top trumps. My wedding has been cancelled twice and I'm fucking disappointed.

You want sympathy for your situation but you're totally devoid of any empathy for anyone else. Why the fuck should op care about you when you clearly don't give a fuck about her?

@TotorosCatBus

The OP is allowed to have a thread where she complains about how restrictions are affecting her. It does not change how restrictions are affecting others.

Her entire premise is to complain about things that other people are doing (G7, sports events), and to ignore and dismiss all the people pointing out why these are different.

When people are losing close family members, jobs, education, dying alone, spending months or years in isolation, when disability and poverty are skyrocketing, when families have been unable to see each other for extended periods of time, and people are dying of cancer because of waiting lists, and here we have a 42-year-old woman moaning that she can only have 30 people at her wedding.

Sure, she is allowed to have a thread. And other people are allowed to respond to it.

I’m sorry op it’s rubbish. I am 31 so peak friends wedding time in life. All my friends have postposed indefinitely and a lot of them are now pregnant or have had a baby. Fingers crossed all goes ahead for you.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

As meaningless as a wedding party? Frankly that's disgusting. It's not meaningless to any normal person.

It's completely meaningless, in reality.

You want sympathy for your situation but you're totally devoid of any empathy for anyone else. Why the fuck should op care about you when you clearly don't give a fuck about her?

I wasn't talking about my situation and I wouldn't expect any sympathy. I read through the entire thread. There are posters on here whose partners are terminally ill, people with horrendously upsetting stories, and she has just dismissed them completely.

[quote LeopardHawk]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

As meaningless as a wedding party? Frankly that's disgusting. It's not meaningless to any normal person.

It's completely meaningless, in reality.

You want sympathy for your situation but you're totally devoid of any empathy for anyone else. Why the fuck should op care about you when you clearly don't give a fuck about her?

I wasn't talking about my situation and I wouldn't expect any sympathy. I read through the entire thread. There are posters on here whose partners are terminally ill, people with horrendously upsetting stories, and she has just dismissed them completely.[/quote]
Maybe it's completely meaningless to you, but not to most other people. You don't get to decide what's meaningless, you know? It clearly means a lot to op and literally fucking thousands of others. You're the minority here.

She hasn't dismissed them at all but the reality is that just because worse things happen to others doesn't mean she can't be annoyed and sad about something that matters TO HER.

Again, it's not misery top trumps. She is allowed to be disappointed and it won't go away because someone on mn says it should.

This wedding might not be just a run of the mill party.

She might not have not seen some of the guests in a long time. This could be the last time she sees some or the guests. Or her husband and her might have overcome lots of hurdles (even people passing) and want to have a celebration even if it's just for the day.

I'm not engaged or married but I would also be watching the footage of people of people getting drunk and thinking about the link between football matches and domestic violence and feeling bitter.

Restrictions and reopening generally favoured men eg golf courses and hunting over playground equipment and beauty treatments that could be done away from faces eg leg waxes

Our (minimal, Covid) wedding party wasn't meaningless. It was probably one of the last chances DH will have to celebrate.

Thank you, some of you are really kind and i needed those last few posts ❤

Dp and I have been together years. We're still sickeningly smitten with each other - we've just not got round to getting married before

Our families get along great - there's not been a wedding on either side for years and there's unlikely to be another while our parents are around to enjoy it.

We don't need a party - we absolutely don't but we're sociable. We work at the same massive place and, weirdly, people seem to like us and want to celebrate with us.

I'll be so sad if we can only have a quiet meal with our lively but not 'our kind of fun' families. Our venue is amazing - an open barn and a marquee in the country side

It's cheap, pretty and the perfect place for a proper party. It'll be such a waste just to have a meal and go home.

*lovely

Our families are lovely, but definitely not lively

@bloodywhitecat

Our (minimal, Covid) wedding party wasn't meaningless. It was probably one of the last chances DH will have to celebrate.

I cant even contemplate what you're going through, I really can't. I'm so glad that you got to marry him and him you ❤

I strongly agree that it’s not misery to trumps and to point out how others have suffered does not actually change the OPs painful situation. Weddings are important to people for many other reasons beyond “the party”. Having those you love there as you make that lifetime commitment is really precious. It’s something people took for granted until this year, and it’s OK to mourn that. In my family there are people who now won’t be able to have the wedding they wanted because those they loved are not alive to attend… it’s not trivial to want to have a wedding as we used to! For what it’s worth I don’t think that the OP has been dismissive either. You can be sad for big tragedies and still disappointed for yourself, the two are not mutually exclusive! OP, I hope your wedding is wonderful and good luck with it.

The Government have made a right mess of this by using inconsistent rules. It's too soon for large weddings - but it's also too soon for plenty of other things they've okayed. It makes people feel a sense of injustice, and it makes them less inclined to take anything seriously.

I was horrified by the behaviour at the G7 summit. Yes, there were some carefully staged socially-distanced photos. However, the photos and videos taken in between those photos told a very different story. I couldn't believe how much touching and standing close to each other there was. Bunch of hypocrites.

OP, I'm sorry it sounds like your wedding plans about to be scuppered. Whether or not it's the right thing, you're more than entitled to feel sad about it. I know I would too in your situation.

@TotorosCatBus I agree with you! In addition though, my sister had her rescheduled wedding of 15 guests last week and it was very special for that exact reason- a proper celebration with immediate family who we hadn't seen in so long- but it was a celebration with that few people- and it was really joyous.

A compromise can be reached here- OP I allowed to be gutted that her 'pre-covid' style wedding may not be allowed to go ahead, but should also take on board that the same wedding with only 30 guests will be just as special, just in a different way. Dare I say it- perhaps more special in many ways than her larger pre covid wedding would have been because of what everyone has been through over the past year.

What do you think you'll do then OP? Stick to the date you have with smaller numbers, or re book?

@JewelGarden

What do you think you'll do then OP? Stick to the date you have with smaller numbers, or re book?

We'll go ahead. 100%

Like I said though - it's not a day I'll look forward to if I'm completely honest.

I'll smile tomorrow and say "it is what it is" whixh I've been saying for months. Then I'll cry in the shower because there's actually fuck all I can do about it.

I teach dozens of teenagers and adults day in day out. I love it and have thrown myself at the new challenges and dealt with the weirdness of being in a small room with 20 odd people but it smarts when I compare my working day to what we'll be allowed at our OUTDOOR venue.

I hear you, OP. No-one really gets how few people 30 is until they start writing a list. Once you get past the couple, parents, siblings and partners, we found we had about five people each left. That rules out friends, godparents, cousins etc.

We're due to get married in a garden on 26 June having pushed it on from last June and it's just impossible

Got to be honest, I don’t give a flying fuck about weddings. I know others do give a fuck though.

My issue is the hypocrisy. If pubs are ok, and gyms are ok, why aren’t worship and secular events. My eldest can’t go back to full orchestra rehearsal, as there are too many people, but she could go to the pub with many more people without an issue.

The scale of risk seems to be very skewed.

@IncyWincyGrownUp it's not hypocrisy though. Not all things can be allowed at the moment- which means choices have to be made. There is literally no way that everyone can be happy with those choices. Your post is once again demonstrating that people are failing to see that this isn't an all or nothing situation- there will be very comparable events where one is allowed and the other isn't, but if both were allowed then cases would probably go through the roof.

[quote postnatalworries]@IncyWincyGrownUp it's not hypocrisy though. Not all things can be allowed at the moment- which means choices have to be made. There is literally no way that everyone can be happy with those choices. Your post is once again demonstrating that people are failing to see that this isn't an all or nothing situation- there will be very comparable events where one is allowed and the other isn't, but if both were allowed then cases would probably go through the roof. [/quote]
It absolutely is hypocrisy when you're saying to people you must social distance, you must elbow bump and then you go and do neither of those things.

You must not travel. Oh except these people they can travel.

It is hypocrisy, of course it Is.

Why can't a wedding be allowed with testing? If everyone attending is negative, how exactly will it spread?

It's so hypocritical

I want to have a nice time with friends and family at an outdoor wedding that we can choose to distance in.

Today thousands jumped about pissed twitter.com/MirrorFootball/status/1404090801844633602?s=19

On Saturday Boris and his cronies had drinks, canapes, a bbq and the Queen cut a cake with a sword.

All of that is hypocritical

@Getyourarseofffthequattro guests test. Guests travel to venue whilst mingling with others at train stations, petrol station, hotels etc. Guests spread virus to other other guests. Of course it would cause a spread.

If you don't want the 'hypocrisy' that you speak of then the only options are opening and allowing absolutely everything up, or not allowing anything at all.

It's really, really galling for the OP though, and she is 100% justified in feeling upset.