My partner called me a harridan yesterday. I’m really upset but haven’t said anything because I wanted to think it through. This is what – from my point of view – happened. He’s WFH, I’m retired but do a lot of writing and other stuff so consider this also to be ‘work’ of some kind (personal work) We’re both beyond retirement age. Just giving you context and explaining that we’re both at home all the time.
So he’s at his desk and I go upstairs (he works on a landing) just sorting out washing, and he says he can’t find the belt from one of his dressing gowns. I find it – immediately and exactly where I expected it to be, with the dressing gowns on the back of the door – so I go and give it to him, make a very mild sarcastic comment (something like, well there it was, with the dressing gown!) and as I walk away he says something that includes him calling me a harridan. I carried on doing what I was doing as it sunk in.
I’ve got no idea what he’s even referring to. He’s not stupid and I do talk a lot about feminism, so he can’t possibly not know that the word harridan would be received by me as a ghastly misogynistic insult. Or can he? Is it just his way of saying I’m a bit grumpy?
Should I let it go or say something? I feel really, really upset. He’s usually a very good man but I feel like I’ve been having these kind of conversations for fifty years now and I’m so tired. I can barely speak to him today because I feel like I’ll either cry or blow up. Help!