To ask if you were genuinely surprised when your partner proposed?

[summersun20]

Were you genuinely surprised when your partner proposed? Or deep down did you either know on the day that they were going to, I.e came across nervous/ you were in a certain location or place and knew what was going to happen in advance?

I always wondered whether it was obvious before hand, on social media some of the videos I have seen, there is a genuine element of actual surprised and shock.

I have been with my dp 6 years and we've discussed getting married and what our wedding would be like a lot recently. I can read him like a book and I genuinely don't know how he will surprise me with a proposal without me twigging on before hand!

Also rings!! Did they get the ring size right? This baffles me, my dp would never be able to guess my ring size and I don't usually wear rings.

I very much welcome any stories on how they proposed too - a nice pick me up after a bit of a rubbish week.

Just a fun light hearted thread =)

Well, surely if you’ve discussed getting married, you’re already engaged, OP — so he knows you plan to marry him, but he still has to ‘surprise’ you by asking?

Haha I guess so @GloriousMystery

I know I know .. I am a hopeless romantic and would like to be asked like the old tradition !

We talked about marriage, but on a day I was very surprised. I wasn't dressed up or anything (I would if I knew ), but it was perfect. He chose one of our favourite spots and waited until no one was around before he proposed. There were no flowers or big gestures, just words coming from the heart. I loved it. We went back home and had a lovely dinner. To both of us it was a perfect day.

Like you I don't wear rings so it was too small, but I was able to put it on an wear it that day. The next day we went to resize it. I had to wait few days but that was ok ☺️

OP, what kind of proposal would you like?

Totally surprised. We had been together 12 years. Then he whipped out a diamond ring in the middle of a snowy field in Lapland. 😊🥰

Op, this being MN you might get a lot of get a lot of replies like pp

Most people I know did the 'vaguely discussed marriage, then the man proposes with ring'.

I knew DH was keen to marry at some point, and had been hoping for a proposal. On the actual day I didn't see it coming - he suggested going for a walk, and proposed on the local heath. The ring was a size or two too big and we got it resized the following week.

Yep I thought he was never going to do it!!

Yep. I knew he was intending to propose and we’d talked about getting married and rough timescales, but not specifics.

I was completely surprised by the place and timing, and it couldn’t have been more perfect... I didn’t even mind that my outfit could have been better

We discussed getting married. He wasn’t ready. We went away for a weekend, he said we could buy a ring but he’d propose later. I said if we bought a ring, we were engaged. We continued with our day and he said let’s go look for a ring. Found a ring. It was the wrong size so it went to be resized but we agreed we were engaged. We had our evening meal, didn’t really have any nice dressy clothes, so just wore what we were wearing. Called our parents, our tired to in my case. I finally got in touch with my mum who was at Take That tribute act and couldn’t really talk. We went to our hotel room and we’re getting ready for bed. He was in his boxers, I was sat on the bed wearing just my jumper and brushing my hair. He pulled a dummy (key?) out of the tangfastics bag on the desk and got down on one knee with a romantic speech.

I was surprised but only because I wasn’t him to be ready for a little while yet and because he got down on one knee after we agreed we were engaged.

Not in the least since we’d already discussed getting married and been to buy my ring! He felt the need to do a ‘proposal’ even so, literally the day after we collected the ring it was all ‘oh let’s go to this special place for us with great views for no reason I just fancy it’. I had to play along and it was all a bit tongue in cheek and we went to a place we love by the sea with the dog and he then made up some reason that I had to sit on the bench and he had to take the dog off and then the dog came running back with my ring tied to his collar and it was all very silly and funny and cheesy and then surprisingly romantic and heartfelt in the end too. Then we went and got chips and ate them on the beach.

In my dim and distant past I had a more conventionally romantic proposal, I wasn’t surprised that time either although that was far more a situation of me waiting to be proposed to, he chose the ring etc (he got the size right as he took a ring from my jewellery box to get sized up) but wouldn’t be the ring I’d have chosen. We talked about getting married a lot and I knew it was imminent but looking back it was very much on his terms and as it turned out didn’t mean much in the end.

With my now DH I wasn’t really interested in sitting around waiting for him to decide I was worth asking and dressing that up as romance or tradition - it was a decision we made together, I chose my ring because I would be wearing it the rest of my life, we had an amazing day the day we went to the jewellers and chose it with dinner and drinks afterwards, same again when we went to pick it up, and then the not so surprise proposal the next day so I feel like I got the most out of the experience

I asked my ex to marry me so I wouldn't know. I find the whole idea of waiting for a proposal bizarre and the concept of an engagement weird. Firstly having that little control in something which is going to shape the rest of your life, and the idea of having to sit passively by and wait for something you really want.

I'm sure some men propose spontaneously because they love their partner and want to get married and that's lovely if it genuinely happens like that. But so much of it seems to have happened when the woman has passively nudged and bullied and cajoled because she is under the impression that its "wrong" to ask. The whole culture of waiting for it is just awful. Its all about sapping women of the agency that they ought to have in their own lives.

No because we talked about it, he told me he was collecting my ring and met me with it.

I honestly think it’s odd for it to come as a surprise.

Yep. Total surprise. He'd made his views very clear on not wanting to get married, I was starting to reconcile it in my own head.

Then one night on a holiday we had such a lovely time and I was a bit tiddly so said to him shall we get married. He just laughed me off. Later that night we were sitting on a beach and he produced a ring that he'd had made for me. Utter utter shock.

I was completely surprised.

He actually proposed with a ring sizer in a box, and we chose the ring together the week after.

@Rmka we are a very outdoorsy couple and love the countryside, walking and being in nature. I would say either in a very quiet countryside spot with mountains in the background or alternatively on a holiday but in a quiet, romantic, peaceful spot.

We have this little tradition where we find a nice spot and bring with us a little can cocktail (classy I know) chink it and take a photograph. I could be way off the mark here (maybe embarrasing myself too) but we have a break scheduled in September and he's already talking about what alcohol to bring and how we will have to take a nice pic. Deep down hoping he's thinking about using this as an opportunity but I could be totally wrong!

Your proposal honestly sounds perfect!

Yes. We had been together 12 years, had 2 kids and never really discussed marriage as it wasn't important to us.

No big proposal but opened a gift from the kids on Christmas morning that turned out to be an engagement ring :)

The size was wrong and I don't do jewellery so the ring is long lost somewhere but it was definitely a surprise!

I was completely surprised. We’d been together six years, and had discussed marriage and what we both wanted from the future and stuff. But no, on the day, I didn’t see it coming.

We’d both had normal work days, and when I got home, we went for a walk on the beach, which wasn’t anything unusual. But his sister had arrived ahead of time and laid out a little champagne picnic for us, and he proposed. I was so surprised by the picnic that I didn’t believe it was for us at first, and I remember saying to DH, “We should really step away from this area, this is somebody’s lovely picnic and they’ll be here any minute!”

It was only when I recognised a particular dish that belonged to his sister that I realised what was happening. It was a lovely surprise. DH and his sister even did a “rehearsal” the day before to make sure they would get the timing right 😂

No, he didn’t get the ring size right! It doesn’t matter, it just went for re-sizing.

Yes. We were in the middle of Cafe Rouge in Greenwich, about to go into a screening of Macbeth . I said yes then had to spend the next two hours explaining the plot/Scottish accents to Russian DH - “Those are witches!”, “That man is actually a ghost!” etc.

Two years earlier we were at an isolated Moroccan rooftop tent on New Year’s Eve, sipping champagne and toasting our future, when he reached behind him and presented me with… a Kindle. To this day he doesn’t understand why I was suddenly off with him.

@Rmka like this, usually a lot prettier background mind you!

This is outing but I was so surprised that I said 'Fuck Off!' instead of yes!

I've still not lives it down 10 years later!

@EssentialHummus oh this really made me grin!!! I would have reacted the same.

Thank god for a happy proposal 2 years later 💍

It was a complete surprise, we'd been together nearly eight years. He went to great lengths to keep it hidden.
My ring was too big, but easily adjusted. He knew I had a ring of my mum's that fit my ring finger even though I don't wear it and it is a size J. It's very old though and the size didn't fit modern sizing. I actually needed an F which you can't buy anyway, so would have had to get one adjusted regardless.

OK sat on the sofa and partner just showed me a funny video of a very drunk groom being fed food by his MIL. Not sure if anyone has seen it, but he just came and sat next to me and said it is going to be him at our wedding.

Hoping this proposal is going to be soon 🙏

I was surprised 'when' he did it. We'd been together 9 years and he was quite against it at the beginning. We were very young and his parents divorced when he was 16, two years before we met. He'd gone off with a friend for the day saying he was going to look at guitars but came back without one. A few days later he was showing me a picture on his phone. I scrolled and a picture of an engagement ring flashed up. It wasn't a surprise he was going to propose as we had talked about it and he said it would happen one day. When he did propose it was in our kitchen at home on Valentine's Day. We were going to NYC for my 30th a couple of months later so I was expecting it to happen there. I loved how he did it. The ring was way too big. 10 years later we're getting married in three months.

We were living together but never talked about marriage. I was totally surprised. He had bought a ring, perfect design but needed to be resized. We were on a weekend away to the city where we met.

No, and I was surprised each time.