to be disappointed with money in a birthday card and not a present?

[frostythesnowmum]

I am feeling really petty but this has really bugged me. My sil and bil gave me a card with £15 in it when sil works in a department store so it would of been easy for her to chose me a present... infact she usually gets me fab girlie presents that I really love.
They have 3 kids who always request money from us so we give £20 birthdays and xmas and I always try to be really thoughtful over sil and bils presents although bil is quite difficult and recently as requested vouchers so we give him £25. It's not the amount so much that bugs me although I do wonder if they are making a statement and setting a lower limit on gifts? It's more the fact I feel they couldn't be arsed and that really hurts.
I am incapasitated by really bad morning sickness at the moment so am feeling very low and realise I might be just paranoid and being silly so I wondered what you girls thought.

it's a bit of a cop-out IMHO unless they knew you were saving for something in particular- I have done this for a chum recently who wanted to spoil herself with a designer handbag so all of her friends got together & all put what we would have spent in towards that. (we would have bought the bag if we could have afforded it!!)

If she had said she was pushed for ideas even it might have helped!

Now my kids LOVE tokens /money but I always tell people first so they know we wouldn't be upset.

You are not being paranoid just sensitive probably more so because you are under par ATM as well. Galling though when you usually get a lovely girlie gift-just now you need one more than other years I would think!! Go & spend it online & treat yourself!

Maybe she forgot, and so had to go with cash because she had no time to get the gift. Maybe she remembered your birthday that day?

If she usually gives you very good presents it may be that she puts a lot of thought into it. Perhaps this time she just didn't have the time and energy for it. I meet up with a group of 8 friends on a regular basis for birthdays. After years of thinking what to buy each other we've just started giving vouchers, which is better as i think we've run out of ideas.

i think you are being totally unreasonable.

mind you, i think all posts about not being happy with gifts received are unreasonable.

i think that fully grown adults who put the value of their relationships on what they receive on one day of the year need to wise up.

what does your family do for you the rest of the year?

I think YABU, I'd be happy they remembered.

YABU, we don't all have the time/inspiration to go out shopping for presents.

yes, she may work in a dept store, perhaps she just couldn't thinkl of anything this time or have the time to go and get it. Most stores have a long winded procedure for staff buying, you can't just nip and get it whilstr you are working.

Yes, YABU - they remembered your birthday and sent money as a gift. I also think that the amount is bothering you otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it or how you give them more.

Everyone has a different idea about what makes a good present so I don't think she is being intentionally thoughtless or not putting in the effort. I suspect if you felt better (have been incapacitated by morning sickness recently too)then the prospect of taking yourself off to the shops with £15 to spend on yourself would be rather nice but right now your very ill, you feel low, the prospect of walking from one room to another is too much let alone shopping and a little surprise to open would have been nice.

Hope you feel better soon xx

Also maybe she is trying to set a lower spend limit. As someone desperately trying to do the same could I ask you to please graciously take the hint

i would much much much rather have money than a 'thing'

sorry but i think yabu i think but as you are hormonal and having morning sickness it is allowed

Happy birthday btw.

I am copping out this year with neices and nephew xmas pres's all getting a crisp £10 in a card with a little glass ladybird magnet. Baby due 31st Dec and also they are all getting older and wanting to buy computer games etc.

I'd be chuffed with the glass ladybird magnet & I'm nearly 30!!!! You wouldn't even have to bother with the crisp £10 note

Hey frosty, you're not being unreasonable in wanting a bit of thought put into a gift, but it's nice of them even sending you a card

My brothers' haven't sent me a card in god knows how long! Despite one of their birthday's being 3 days before mine

agree with Awen - unless you are 10 (which I am guessing you're not) then getting upset that someone gave you money instead of a present is completely unreasonable.

I think getting a present on your birthday once you're an adult is a bonus isn't it?

hello. i think yabu and you shud be grateful for getting any amount of money in your card

Don't think YABU as you are feeling low at the moment and wanted some spoiling for your Birthday. Do they know you are feeling unwell? When I was pregnant and feeling very low no-one knew what to buy me - too sick for smellies etc, didn't want any more maternity clothes, and was unable to come up with any ideas. Maybe the money was the best idea they could come up with - spoil yourself when you feel a bit better?
I also would take the hint on the £15 as a new spending limit - trying to introduce that with family this Xmas too.

yes, you are being completely unreasonable

aww cut her some slack people we all remember that grotty feeling & how emotional it made us surely!!

yes yabu

we don't do adult gifts though ,just kids

I remember being pg & my mam bought me a huge bottle of aloe vera moisturising cream.. I was in hosp with Hyperemisis & I opened the bottle, smelled it & threw up!!

Sorry you're feeling shitty, you have my sympathies.

My dh gave me £100 in cash once for my b/day. I never said anything but I was quite upset because he would NEVER EVER normally spend that kind of cash on a birthday it was guilt because he hadn't taken the time to go and get something and there's only so many times you can buy someone a gift from Tesco .

He did a much better job this year though.

ungrateful sod

If you don't want it then feel free to send it on to me - now that's the kind of recycled present I'd like!

Happy birthday Frosty XXX

TBH I think YANBU - it's all tied up in you feeling rough and wanting treating. And that is understandable. I do wonder if they struggled with ideas for you because you are pg - so clothes, booze etc awkward. Still a nice pair of leather gloves or whatever can be got in a department store for £15.

happy birthday!
i think you a being a little bit unreasonable, but then i always like getting money so i can choose what i want (usually bath bombs!), but if you're feeling rubbish its fair enough