to be disappointed with money in a birthday card and not a present?

[frostythesnowmum]

I am feeling really petty but this has really bugged me. My sil and bil gave me a card with £15 in it when sil works in a department store so it would of been easy for her to chose me a present... infact she usually gets me fab girlie presents that I really love.
They have 3 kids who always request money from us so we give £20 birthdays and xmas and I always try to be really thoughtful over sil and bils presents although bil is quite difficult and recently as requested vouchers so we give him £25. It's not the amount so much that bugs me although I do wonder if they are making a statement and setting a lower limit on gifts? It's more the fact I feel they couldn't be arsed and that really hurts.
I am incapasitated by really bad morning sickness at the moment so am feeling very low and realise I might be just paranoid and being silly so I wondered what you girls thought.

im quite torn by this one really. I always receive money from my mother on birthdays and xmas, so does DP. And its not just £25 either! Trouble is, i always end up not spending the money on myself, i dip into it for essentials and before i know it it has gone. I do get upset if DP only gives me money, we are strapped at the moment and i would rather receive a small token present than a wad of cash (like, in my dreams ) That is what bothers me about recieving money.

OP, i think you are being a tad unreasonable, i have never in my life recieved a bday card from my inlaws (apart from parents in law who are lovely - they always put a tenner in a card, twenty if they are flush), i never buy them a card either - we are not close as such but we all get on and like each other. The only people i have ever bought for is parents. Oh and a couple friend of ours who bought us the year before, they bought me a lovely present the year before, i bought nothing, so last year we spent a fair amount on them, they bought us tokens - oh the politics of christmas and birthdays This year i shall buy them bugger all and not answer the door when they come a knocking

i'd be thrilled!

YABU.....grossly...

Getting cash in a card is THE BEST

if she works in a department store, like me, at this time of year then probably the last thing she'll want to do is shop. she will be sick of the sight of most of the stuff she works with. sick of tidying it, arranging it, moving it, checking the sales on it...blah blah blah. enjoy your £15, it has saved your SIL a lot of hassle.

bitty unreasonable because she remembered made an effort and actually cash is a sure winner. you get to chose whether to spend on one item or contribute toward another item, she knows it is not an unwanted/duplicate gift. don't see what the problem is frankly.send a thank you card and dont be so churlish

YABU. Anybody who complains after actually having received a present is totally unreasonable. As a grown up I cant remember last time I received a birthday present from somebody who is not my mum or husband.

Also, £20 is a lot of money, £25 even worse! I think 15 is a perfectly reasonable amount. My guess is that they do want to lower the spend, and want you to do the same. So please stop going to such expense.

And of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I like to get cash.

Maybe they just haven't the time for thoughtful presents?

Yep, YABU. You are a grown woman and any birthday present is a bonus. I certainly think £25 for "ordinary" adult birthdays is too much. We've had a £10 limit in my family for years and vouchers/cash are always accepted when ideas are lacking.