Leaving London - is there a promised land?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

Edinburgh

@Bouncebacker weather

Just came in to say Edinburgh.

There's no mass exodus. For years people have been leaving London. Some will be non Londoners returning to their home areas or elsewhere, others will be part of the social cleansing that's been going on for the past 30 years.

I assume you're asking about places the wealthy leavers go to? Various different places. Tony Blair is in Buckinghamshire, David Cameron in Oxfordshire, George Osborne in Somerset. Other people go to Cheshire, Yorkshire, Dorset, Hampshire, Kent, Essex, Sussex, and tbh all over the place. Those who want another city often choose Manchester or Bristol. It's very varied.

But really, despite some affluent people leaving and the social cleansing, many more are staying. 9 million people. Only a small proportion have left.

@Tealightsandd sorry you are obviously right! I suppose I meant more specifically, people with primary school age kids. It seems to be happening in larger numbers than before in my area aswell as other areas in London where friends are based.

I find it unsettling. We've toyed with the idea of leaving. I am often left wondering if life is so much better if you leave (I realise everybody's circumstances are different). There's a lot to worry about if you have kids in London, drugs in schools, muggings and knife crime, general street safety, pollution.

Bad stuff happens in the countryside too

Yup. All the lovely areas up here that us less affluent northerners will never have a cat in hells chance of living in. Priced out n all that.

Dh and I moved from london where we both grew up to Hertfordshire 5 years ago.
As much as I love london I could never move back. Went from a two bed apartment to a 5 bed detached house backing on to woods.
Best thing we’ve ever done. (Miss the tube though!)

We are now on the south coast, walking distance to the beach, and to be honest it does feel pretty heavenly compared to Tottenham! There are some things I miss about London but it was definitely the right decision for us. I was in London this weekend visiting my sister and actually found it quite exhausting.

@ilkleymoorbartat on the other hand there's convenient transport and friends that live nearby so you're not ferrying your children around, loads of stuff to do and see, and some of the best funded schools in the country. Let's see what happens when people start having to commute again. I also agree that this has always happened, people moving to the suburbs and home counties, but the pandemic and stamp duty holiday has exacerbated it, people are moving further afield inspired by home working.

The grass is not necessarily greener but it probably depends what you're into.

Also toyed with the idea- glad we didn’t! Especially now DCs are teenagers. Although we can afford a decent house in a nice area of London which makes it an easier choice. Can think of at least 5 families that moved from where we are in SW London to various desirable areas in Kent, Essex, Dorset and Surrey. All moved back within 2 years. Couldn’t afford to run their country pads, got fed up of having to drive everywhere etc etc. I grew up in a ‘rural idyll’ - happy my kids aren’t!

Liverpool

@Sanguinesuzy

Yup. All the lovely areas up here that us less affluent northerners will never have a cat in hells chance of living in. Priced out n all that.

We are in suffolk and can't even buy locally at all now. Every house has gone to people moving out of London.

I did London to Bristol to a village near Bristol. Very happy with that!

Cardiff!

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

It's not impossible to imagine unless you've never been outside of London before! We moved out of London in 2002 to a lovely, idyllic Oxfordshire village. And then decided to go more rural 7 years ago and now live on the edge of the Lake District. I lived London in my 20s, but would hate it now, and can't imagine ever living in a city again tbh.

Anywhere. London is a totally different experience to every other big city in the UK.

I've lived in London, Manchester, York and Edinburgh - London is just different from the others. It's busy and exhausting in a way that others cities aren't. And obviously it's hugely different to the countryside.

I never enjoyed living in London and many people don't. And they will leave for various other places. But, as a pp pointed out, there are still 9m staying.

However, in general, a lot of people don't see London as a long term thing. It's just too fast paced and stressful and often having young kids is when they leave. It's always been that way.

It's possible to find a happy medium between London and total rural isolation you know...

We moved out of London recently. I wouldn't say it is the promised land but it is definitely less polluted, quieter, feels much safer (I only realise now how London puts you naturally on your guard) and to live in beautiful surroundings is great. I love cities and London in particular so I think both cities and countryside have a lot going for them. I personally would have hated it here any age less than 40. Would have felt too quiet and cut off. So I'd say don't move until you know you'd be fine without the liveliness if a city.

Edinburgh might not be your first choice if you're wanting to move away from the city but it often has really lovely dry, sunny weather actually. It's much less rainy than Manchester and surrounding areas.

There's a lot to worry about if you have kids in London, drugs in schools, muggings and knife crime, general street safety, pollution.

It's definitely concerning reading the headlines. Unfortunately it's happening in other areas too - although probably not so much in the leafy shires. But then there are other problems.

London's draw (apart from family and familiarity for those born there) is the diversity, tolerance of incomers - the lack of insularity.

Not every part of London is rife with violent crime - which tends to be inter gang warfare (I wish the government would tackle it and help those affected).

Lots of perfectly safe areas especially for families. I wouldn't panic. Remember many of the people leaving won't be doing it by choice. It will be because they're priced out (made worst by Sunak further inflating the house price bubble). It's not just FTB. Growing families can't afford to upsize.

It's varied where people go. Lots just return home, to the city or town or village they come from.

If you're personally happy where you are and can afford to stay, I'd say stay. Are the schools good in your area? If people are leaving at primary age, is it the secondaries? You could try looking at other parts of London if that's the case.

School wise, some families who want grammar go to Kent or parts of Essex. Kent is full grammar.

Brighton. Has culture and good going out scene. The sea, beautiful countryside within 15 mins drive. Near London for seeing friends.
More importantly it's not boring like so many other "commuter " places that people move to...I have zero interest in living somewhere where Pizza Express is your night out.
Good schools too, it's safe for kids..we moved from NE London because DH went to quite a dodgy secondary and didn't want that for DC

Villages on edge of big city. I like Peak District edge of Sheffield, Southern edge of Bristol, Nice outskirts of Cardiff.
All benefits of close to city with nice countryside.

Lived in London for 15 years and loved it but wanted to give my kids the childhood I had growing up - clean air, space, animals. Miss certain things but to be honest by the time the kids came along we weren’t making the most of what London had to offer - we may as well be having our early nights in a 4 bed detached with a big garden. We have stayed in Surrey commuter belt though, half an hour into London on the fast train.

I lived there 17yrs and only moved out 4mths ago! I always found London transient and people either moved out to return to their home city, moved back abroad after completing a work holiday here or work visa expired, moved out once their kids got older or moved out due to work moving them or a new job. People moving away is not a new thing at all.

There isn't a promised land for all outside London. Some want to return closer to older parents and family. Others want to be nearer the sea, others want another city like Edinburgh or Manchester, but not the pace of London.