Leaving London - is there a promised land?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

None of these places would be the promised land for me if my family weren’t there.

RickiTarr

Definitely not a London borough

@awaketoosoon

I know someone from Mitcham who vehemently believes she lives in Surrey. 😆

From Wiki: Mitcham is an area within the London Borough of Merton in South London, England. It is centred 7.2 miles southwest of Charing Cross. Originally a village in the county of Surrey, today it is mainly a residential suburb.

….so she’s clinging to the word ‘originally’. Which is a bit like a person in a village in Northern France claiming to be cockney because it was once part of the English monarch’s lands.

Yes. I live in it and I'm not telling any of you where it is!

That's a good point @Divebar2021

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. It's interesting to get such a wide range of perspectives.

Out of interest, if you have moved out of London with kids to somewhere else, do you still end up with 'worries' about things? So for example in London it's knife crime, mugging etc. But in the Home Counties it's glue sniffing, speeding cars knocking them over (this are probably ridiculous examples, but you get the gist)!

I don’t think any parent is free from worry. Sometimes the worry isn’t about the physical environment but the relationships that are formed. Eg The unsuitable friend who is involved in crime or drugs or is just obnoxious. Some places are not that progressive either …. As much as people want to claim otherwise some places are more insular or less liberal than you might want or are used to. That of course doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for you that can offer all the things you might want.

not sure there is - but one poster mentioned harrogate, it may look it on the surface, but its not.

South London born and bred here, now living in a small market town. It's nice, but I still miss London.

There is no place like it I moved to Hampshire years ago when my son was a baby he's now 15 and leaves school next year I've been working in London for the last few months but seeing the Hussle and bussle of oxford street having convenience on your doorstep transport 24/7 I actually feel quite sad when I get back to Hampshire I'm seriously considering moving back after all this time I'm 40 now but being in London that vibe gives me so much energy and I feel alive there really is no place like it and never will be

@ilkleymoorbartat I honestly think there are stresses everywhere. I moved out of London and was concerned about having a postage garden, knife crime, pollution etc. Mainly though I moved for space. But I now live in the Home Counties and there is a lack of diversity (income wise) which I hate. There is actually a huge diversion nationality wise in our state school which surprised me. Drugs are still prevalent (wealthy area) and mental health issues in kids sky high (grammar system). I also dislike everyone driving everywhere and the relative lack of cultural and restaurant options. The general small minded suburban attitudes also drive me slightly bonkers. Bin collection obsessions and all! There are pros and cons to everything.

Grew up in central/west London. Lived there until I was 18 then moved and went to uni in Brighton. Stayed in Sussex ever since now have 2 small dc and live in Worthing, West Sussex. We are just a stones throw from the beach, which is such a mood and game changed. 3 bed house very cheap when we bought just pre pandemic.
We have the beautiful and idyllic Sussex countryside (the downs) just a short 15 minute drive away. So many families live here with an abundance of parks, farms, beach and water activities, nature, baby groups, lovely soft plays etc for the little ones.
The people are genuine and friendly. There are also lots of cool new restaurants and bars opening up too around the town. The Sunday times recently called it Hackney on sea (for the hipster hospitality scene that's emerging). Couldn't recommend it more. Never been happier.

My parents moved us out of London to the Home Counties when I was 8 or 9 (can't remember exactly). It was incredibly boring where we lived, and most of my friends when I was a teenager smoked a lot of drugs, drank a lot, and had sex in fields. As soon as I could, I moved back to London. I'm sure lots of kids like living in the suburbs, but I wasn't one of them.

If you like/love London, but fancy a change, look for another city.

I have lived in different areas of home counties and it was pure death by boredom. Even the "hip" places. Stone dead in winter and weekenders from Peckham in summer. Nothing against the weekenders or Peckham! In fact, I was sitting alone all winter waiting for the "fresh blood" in summer to arrive...

But then again, I'm not after naaaice and a picket fence...

Yes, I live there! For stunning beauty, nature and wildlife on your doorstep, peace and quiet, safety, loads to do, a healthy lifestyle, and a heap less pollution that London PLUS 30 mins on a train to London, you would find it impossible to beat the Surrey countryside. We live just outside of an idyllic village, there are no drug issues here, people love the outdoorsy life, that’s how the kids get their kicks. Mountain biking, hiking, horse riding, wild swimming, the list of stuff for children, and adults, to do is endless. I know loads of kids, none of them ever complain about where they live, they bloody love it!

I lived all over London including centrally for 20 years. How anyone can say they would rather bring children up there than here, well its just utter nonsense. There is nothing like it for kids. London is great for young singles and couples but pretty shit for families 🤷🏼‍♂️

I would hate to live in the burbs. The Home
Counties isn’t just made up of suburban housing estates you know. Ever heard of the Surrey Hills or the South and North Downs? Surrey is the country’s most wooded county!

The Home Counties are not for me. I know Surrey well and while agree parts of it are beautiful, it is so overpopulated and teeming with CEOs roaring round the countryside in their Teslas, it would drive me mad to live there.

When they're not in their Teslas they're doing the full mamil, holding up everyone else's Teslas as they cycle around the county.

Just so many cars, so many bikes, and a twee fake countryside vibe. Not for me at all!

I live in Surrey and there are a lot of Teslas! Agreed! Love it here though and I'm one of the oiks.

@DangerouslyBored I think we live in the same area, I could have written your post word for word. I've also grown up and lived in London most of my adult life, it suited me when younger but I love the space and beauty and friendliness, and how easy it is to get around , it used to take me an hour to drive out of London! I can be at the beach in an hour now after a lovely drive !

The North.

Moved out of London for the same reasons as most better quality of life bigger property schools not as over crowded. Love London but I out grew it.

If you actually own a house in London then yes. Sell it and move up north. You may end up mortgage free and change your life.

I moved out 15 yrs ago . I'm not London born n bread , I moved for work . I always thought London was a good career move and it was because it set me up financially.
I loved living in London but moved out to the south coast. I still get my London fix though by going back regularly to meet friends

My parents moved us out of London to the Home Counties when I was 8 or 9 (can't remember exactly). It was incredibly boring where we lived, and most of my friends when I was a teenager smoked a lot of drugs, drank a lot, and had sex in fields. As soon as I could, I moved back to London. I'm sure lots of kids like living in the suburbs, but I wasn't one of them
I was born & raised in z3 & considered that the suburbs. The home counties are the countryside to me!

PLUS 30 mins on a train to London, you would find it impossible to beat the Surrey countryside.

The journey times always confuse me because again my z3-1 journey would easily take 30 mins. Is the journey from the station to one station in London 30 mins or is the door to door journey 30 mins?

How anyone can say they would rather bring children up there than here, well its just utter nonsense. There is nothing like it for kids.

Why do you think it's nonsense? I don't have an issue with the home counties but I was raised in London & my dc will be as I love it. I like convenience & stuff on my doorstep, I hate the idea of driving everywhere. I would have a 20 min drive for horse riding or wild swimming but I have tennis courts/clubs & a lido on the common 6 min walk away & a bustling high street 6 mins the other way.

London is great for young singles and couples but pretty shit for families

I don't think it's shit for families although it is very expensive. Why do you think it's shit?