Leaving London - is there a promised land?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

The question is do you love living in London? If the answer is yes then it's probably just FOMO. When you don't love living there, then is the time to start looking elsewhere. Personally I hate London, I managed 2 years there - I couldn't be less city if I tried.

It feels like more of an exodus this year but maybe that's the covid effect
10% of families at our primary are leaving London - all year groups

I thought we would never leave but the air pollution is a worry. Plus I want more space & because I was at uni in the 00s prices are ridiculous.

We are in suffolk and can't even buy locally at all now. Every house has gone to people moving out of London.

As a born & raised Londoner I know what that's like!

I think it depends on your priorities but yes for me life (with kids) is easier, more fun, less pressured and I am calmer and happier. The things which have altered are being able to get out into the countryside for walks which we all love, being able to drive around without constant road rage and aggression (there is a small amount but nowhere near as much as where I lived in London), not having to plan everything to the nth degree (whether it’s putting your name down for brownies aged 2 or travelling at 5am to avoid traffic) and having space at home so that every time you buy a new vase you don’t have to re-organise the kitchen! I do find that people are also more relaxed and friendly too. For this I was prepared to forego a banging flat white, shops on the doorstep and a super easy commute but it depends on how much you value each thing I suppose.

It feels like more of an exodus this year but maybe that's the covid effect

Same 5 families have left from dcs class & about 6 neighbours. Most of them have actually gone to other cities Edinburgh, Manchester, Bristol, Cardiff as they wanted a city lifestyle.

Bristol. I was very nervous about leaving London but like everyone who makes the move here, we haven’t looked back.

I think reports have forecasted a fall in population & rents outside of London have said to be at a record high so it definitely seems elevated this yr.

Stay where you are - its a nightmare out here in Non-London

We moved out for 12 years and lived in a thatched cottage in a village that had pubs, shops and a church.
It was the most miserable time of my life.
I don’t think I spoke to anyone apart from my friends who lived in London and Dh.

If you don’t drink, are not Christian and don’t have children there is nothing to do and no one to connect with.
Alcohol seemed to play a huge part in village life, probably because whilst the scenery was beautiful, once children had left home there wasn’t anything to do apart from drink.

We only moved because of dh’s work. I am never moving outside the M25 again. Dh and the family know this although they try to show me what I could afford if I moved out.

A lot depends on your lifestyle but I can’t imagine being in central London with small children. I like my garden too much and I like space and fresh air. After both mat leaves I really noticed the air pollution when I came back in. I think you just adapt to it when you’re there all the time but it hit me like a brick.

I had a amazing time in my 20s but it isn’t for me longer-term. If I had more money I’d love a flat somewhere central though for the odd stay. Best of both worlds then.

Baffles me that these questions are always framed as London, the dull suburbs in the outer zones or the Home Counties or 'the countryside' as if that's the only choice.

Yes! If we did move it would definitely be to another city. For me lots of Zone 5/6 are not particularly great amenities wise. I like stuff on my doorstep.

We moved from london to Manchester. Best move ever. Traded a crappy one bed flat in a bad area for a three bed Victorian terrace in a lovely area. An hours drive gets us to the peaks, yorkshire, the lakes, north wales. An hour drive from our old flat would have just about got us to the M25. All the benefits of a big city without the cost and the people are super friendly. We didn’t want to go rural (DH grew up in the middle of nowhere and hated it) so we are in a city suburb. Trendy, great schools, both cycle to work. You couldn’t pay me (and I did get a bit London weighting!) to move back to London now. Loved it at the time though (pre kids).

Didsbury is our Promised Land. A lovely place to bring up children!

@Liverbird77 yes! Our exact spot 😘

I live in Surrey & I think my two little ones (one primary, one just about to start nursery) have a lovely life. Plenty of green space, not too crowded, quieter, good access to London if I need to go there (45 mins or less on the train,) & excellent restaurants, local amenities.

I have a garden too which is a lifesaver.

I think it all depends on where in London. We live in an outer borough, Kent is just around the corner and I do have most stuff on my doorstep without setting a foot into Central London.

Yes, it's not a ruaral town but I wouldn't want that as I prefer not to have to use the car to get a pint of milk. I also like that DD can walk to secondary school and cycle to most of her activities and I don't have to play taxi driver all the time.

We toyed with the idea of moving into Kent when DD was a preschooler and we looked for primary schools but my commute would double in time if I don't get a fast train and triple in costs. Not worth it.

@awaketoosoon

Baffles me that these questions are always framed as London, the dull suburbs in the outer zones or the Home Counties or 'the countryside' as if that's the only choice.

Yes! If we did move it would definitely be to another city. For me lots of Zone 5/6 are not particularly great amenities wise. I like stuff on my doorstep.

Isn’t that because they still need to get into London for work? Less so at the moment, obv.

@UpSlyDown we love it here. It's so easy to get around as well.
We have a baby and a toddler and there are so many activities for them.
Love Didsbury and Fog Lane parks too!
I liked London but, like you, we traded a one bed flat for a big house with a garden...and pay less for it!

No. There is no life outside the M25, it's a barren wasteland. And as for "the North" - shudder.

Husband moved out of London with his young kids and then wife 15 years ago. Back to an island where we met. He still goes on about how much he doesn’t miss his awful commute on the train and tube into London.

We are a 10 minute walk to work. 10 minute walk to decent cinema and theatre. 10 minute walk to good restaurants. We can be on the beach8n minutes in the car or in the countryside. It’s beautiful. Pre covid we went away to the big city once a month or so.

He does wonder about his kids as they would have had more or different opportunities if they’d stayed in London. But they’ve all been to university and where we live has low unemployment and some really quite different job opportunities. And a healthy mix of locals and blow ins.

A few have left my part of London recently and gone to Devon, Brighton, Surrey, but they were always going to leave I think, they just had the push.

We moved from London, went to a kind of ‘halfway house’ (smaller city) first, now in the middle of nowhere in the Lakes. Love it. Brilliant outdoorsy life for kids, they just run around climbing trees and wild swimming. No noise, just the birds. Rural cinema comes to us at the village hall! Great sense of community. No crime. Seriously friendly. Only downside if we can see ourselves driving kids everywhere when older.

I adore where we live. Can be in central London in 25 minutes from our local station. 10 minute walk into our town centre. Loads of bars, restaurants etc. Woods & green spaces minutes walk away. Proper countryside 10 minutes drive away.

Would not live in an outer London suburb instead of here. No comparison

Isn’t that because they still need to get into London for work? Less so at the moment, obv.

Not sure I have friends in outer zones who have awful journeys. Some of the people I know who have gone to cities still have London jobs. Some relocated job wise but are actually better off.

I’m in zone 6 and have loads of amenities plus fresh air and a house and a garden and a few tube stations and rail lines to get into central London within 30 minutes for anything else.

I always find people think that the Home Counties/commuter belt is made up of boring housing estates. Whilst there are a few there are also loads of places that look like villages and hamlets and are the exact opposite of a boring housing estate.