Leaving London - is there a promised land?

[ilkleymoorbartat]

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

@ilkleymoorbartat

With the mass exodus from London at the moment, aibu to ask whether there is some promised land that people go when they have kids (whatever the location).

Ie, are those of us in London missing out on a life that is lovely and idyllic which if you're in the London bubble it's impossible to imagine?

Do we have Stockholm syndrome basically?!

Yes, basically any of the other large cities in the UK.

Leeds, Manchester, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Bristol, Liverpool.

Large city amenities, culture, diversity, restaurants, houses that are affordable to far more people, access to countryside, pretty much everything you'd want.

Baffles me that these questions are always framed as London, the dull suburbs in the outer zones or the Home Counties or 'the countryside' as if that's the only choice.

Definitely look outside your bubble. I'm sure London is great for the minority that can afford suitable housing in a nice area, but for the other 99%, you'd do well to look elsewhere.

I'd rather live in London but I can't afford it. Other cities are great but London just has more going on.

I'd hate to live in the countryside, I'd find it so boring and so would DS.

I left London because of the crime, the dirty air, the miserable routine of tubes and always feeling like I had to rush. I am not a natural city dweller.
Moved to Hampshire (plenty of employment) to raise DS. Clean air, green fields, birds singing, space, woods to walk in, very little crime, quiet, friendly neighbours.
The closest pub is two miles, supermarket five miles, a car is important, I did a lot of ferrying ds around until lockdown 1 when (at 11) he discovered he could cycle the four miles to the next village to see his mate.
There are galleries and bars and museums here but you have to hunt them out. And it's only 50 mins to Waterloo. Social life is much slower.
For us, a good move and a huge relief.

I lived in Devon for a while and saw more drugs there than I do living in the outskirts of a city. No jobs, no amenities, lack of anything else to do.

Brought mine up very close to London and we made the most of the museums and theatres and parks and all the landmarks.
Dd and Ds couldn’t imagine living in the countryside.

I have lived in the countryside and came across more drug paraphernalia than I have living in cities
I think the lack of anything to do and the boredom makes drugs a way to escape reality for a few hours

I live 18 minutes from the heart of Edinburgh.
A vibrant cosmopolitan city, home of the worlds largest performig arts festival every summer. The whole of the city centre is a UNESCO world heritage site because of the preserved medieval and Georgian architecture.
Great employment opportunities in IT, finance, Biotech, film industry. Great state and private schools, top class universities, good leisure and restaurants, theatres and art galleries.
House prices drop dramatically just a few miles outwith the city and transport links are good.
I live surrounded by ancient woodland, I can leave my front door unlocked. I can see wild deer from my windows.
I live 20 minutes from a busy airport, 15 minutes from mountains, 15 minutes from wild coastal areas, with whales, puffins and seals.
I can't imagine living anywhere else.

I grew up in a rural idyll. Love visiting. But after a few days I start to get itchy feet again.
I’m raising my kids in London.

All of the West Coast of Scotland tbh. Absolutely beautiful childhood…Argyll has golden beaches, forests…primary schools with only a handful of children total, secondary schools with a couple of hundred kids total. Perthshire is more middle-class but still gorgeous and peaceful. If you choose Helensburgh area or Perthshire it’s easy access to Glasgow. I moved to Scotland many years ago as a single parent mature student and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

City of culture 2021.
Affordable housing.
Great schools, 2 cathedrals and 2 universities.
Amazing social life for kids as well as adults.
Captivating history, ancient and modern.
Not to everyone's taste but I just love Coventry.

I am loving hearing of all the amazing places there are to live in the UK.

London is an incredible city- totally world class, but just so darn expensive.
I like living in a large house, with a garden, with space, with a driveway, in a place I can easily afford, with city amenities very close.

@Tealightsandd
I'm not sure if the politicians count as an exodus, because they've always maintained two (maybe more?) homes. Tony Blair also has a house around Connaught Square. David C and George O used to live in North Kensington. In fact, I saw David C a few months ago looking very red in the face in Kensington Whole Foods.
Osborne in particular is a (posh) born and bred Londoner.

@Christmasfairy2020 I’m S17 and I think it’s great. Good schools, right on the edge of the peaks, great little independent shops & cafes. Also lived in S8 & S11 as a child which I also liked.
Yes the city centre is awful, but I rarely have a need to go in so don’t really judge that area against the city as a whole.

@maras2 not to my taste.

Back to the original point, it is a different lifestyle outside London, but your money goes further in most places when it comes to housing, and I am sure a lot depends on your interests. For me, Edinburgh is a lovely place and the only reason I would never consider it is the earlier darkness in winter.

We left London 20 years ago, it was very transient back then as well. Every time a For Sale board went up in our road (often) I’d get itchy feet.

We only moved to the Home Counties but it’s far enough to enjoy lovely countryside and a rural vibe.

Since we moved out we’ve discovered Bristol, adore that place, if we could wind the clock back that would have been our move from London.

Not new though is it?

I moved from rural to uni in a small city to London for my first 'grown up' job. As did my brother and a chunk of my friends.

I stayed in London for 15 years where I met dh, married, bought a flat then a tiny house then had some babies.

I moved back 'home' although closer to the big city which is a very popular one for people leaving London and has been mentioned in a high number of posts on this thread. I live 15 miles from there which makes me semi rural in a small market town but with city amenities in easy reach. I am a walking cliche and it's pretty great tbh.

I did this 10 years ago. It was common then. I wanted to move back to be closer to family and basically couldn't afford to upgrade my 2 bed terrace to a house that would fit my family.

I do miss London but not that much. I have moved somewhere where my kids have enough to do atm ( a cinema ffs! We dreamed of a cinema....) then easy transport links into city as they spread their wings.

I would say yes. Loved living in london for over a decade and still work there, but love my crime free beautiful town, where I’m close to nice bars, cafes, restaurants, have great friends and no looking over my shoulder and wondering about being mugged

@Cottagepieandpeas

I totally regret leaving London. I loved living there (nearly 30 years) and miss the people, the buildings, the art & culture, food…everything. Currently surrounded by trees, trees and more trees.

This would be my concern with moving out – I grew up in the Home Counties surrounded by trees/countryside and was always meh about it, because it turns out I'm a city girl at heart. As it is I live in a lovely tree-lined street in north London!

There are places in London that have a village feel to them, with strong communities, surrounded by lots of parkland, so you can get the best of both worlds if you stay. I'm nearly 50 and could never leave now. We have a lovely house that we've been able to afford by moving up the property ladder and our DD is in a terrific secondary school. She's of an age where she wants to go out and about with her mates and that's a lot easier when you don't have to drive everywhere and can use buses and the Tube. We have friends who've moved out and they're going to have to a taxi service for their kids when they reach their teens.

I don't agree there's an exodus though. Some people always leave London and some people always stay.

Once 12 or over most children do not want to live in ''the country'' they want bright lights and ''rock n' roll''.

Tealightsandd

There's a lot to worry about if you have kids in London, drugs in schools, muggings and knife crime, general street safety, pollution.

These issues are not confined to London but rather a feature of very many cities.

Left London 11 years ago. We live in a beautiful Oxfordshire village; the kids go to the lovely local primary. No regrets.

Yes! You are missing out! Make the move! We stayed in London until the DC were older toddlers and almost school age. I loved it there - so much to do, so many different people, the quirks, the history and I and the fear of moving. But nothing can replace clean air, a really big garden, no crowds, no queuing, a feeling of safety, being able to drive somewhere knowing how long it will actually take you, country walks with the dog. And we’re close enough to go back in for work everyday and to go out with friends and the DC occasionally. But I rarely do. I hate London now!

I moved out a month before the pandemic hit , and live in a country village in a pretty house with a garden- it would have been a tiny flat plot I'd stayed where I was.

Have counted my blessings every single day since the pandemic hit.

I also find it much much friendlier which I love. Also more to do as it doesn't take me an hour to drive a few miles , feel less claustrophobic.

45 mins drive to the beach too which js nice

I was scared about making the move esp with change of school but it's been the best decision I 've ever made

Also teenage dd much prefers it here

We left 22 years ago and can’t wait to go back! I want to enter my 50’s having a choice of cinemas, restaurants or maybe climb the O2. Not joining the local round table club.

Cornwall? Seems like the entire range of interior magazines have interviewed families who have moved from London to Cornwall. It's endless.
Lazy research most likely but it gives a very poor impression that Cornwall is being swamped by city slickers. Can't they think outside the box and not follow the herd so much?