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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing rooms dsd and dc

114 replies

Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:20

Dsd (aged 29) has asked if she can join us on our holiday in a 3 bed house. AIBU in suggesting she share with our (Good sleeping) 3 year old so that baby can have a room to themselves? Baby and toddler wake up at very different times and don't want them to wake each other up. Baby hasn't slept with us for months as DP snoring disturbed him. I am exhausted from a not very good sleeping baby and don't want to make it worse really....

OP posts:
Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:21

To add that was plan when we organised the holiday...

OP posts:
user77hjjy · 09/06/2021 16:22

How old is the baby?

RestingPandaFace · 09/06/2021 16:22

Give her the choice who she would like to go in with. If she goes in with baby (who presumably wakes more) you might get a full nights sleep Grin

AnUnoriginalUsername · 09/06/2021 16:30

If she's paying then I think you'd be unreasonable.

If she's not paying towards the house then explain that you need the kids to be in separate rooms so she'll have to share with one of them if she wants to come

Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:32

Toddlernever wakes and often sleeps in until 8 (bedtime is 8 and this might slip!). Dsd will be WFH so won't be lying in.

OP posts:
30degreesandmeltinghere · 09/06/2021 16:32

My dd 31 is coming with us and sharing bunks with ds 6. Her request!!
Surely bunking up is part of holiday fun?

Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:33

No she's not paying and we will be buying most food etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:34

Thank you. Wasn't sure. It has been broached by she "wants her own space"

OP posts:
PiuVinoPerFavore · 09/06/2021 16:34

If you'd planned the holiday without the expectation that she'd be joining you and she's just asked to tag along YANBU.

Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:35

Apologies for typos

OP posts:
Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:37

Baby wakes a lot and very early in morning. Thanks for the replies

OP posts:
Holly60 · 09/06/2021 16:37

Explain your thinking and see what her preference is?

30degreesandmeltinghere · 09/06/2021 16:39

Well she can pay for an upgrade to a 4 bedroom accommodation then.
Oh and my dd is paying equal shares of the holiday.
And her food costs.

Original poster
Blueberrycheesecake1 · 09/06/2021 16:39

The thing is I can't guarantee the toddler would be as good on holiday and with the excitement of sharing... but I dread any alternative!!

OP posts:
BackBeatTheWordisOnTheStreet · 09/06/2021 16:40

If she's not paying I can't see how she'll possibly mind. It's a family holiday so hardly unusual to all bunk in together.

selflove · 09/06/2021 16:41

It does sound a bit mean spirited to expect an adult to share with a toddler. Usually toddler&baby would be expected to share, and an adult would be given privacy. Surely sometimes adult women want a wank or something before bed, you can't put them in with a toddler!

motogogo · 09/06/2021 16:41

Seems a very odd thing to do. Many siblings share all the time especially on holidays. Mine share )and with dp's dd no choice

BackBeatTheWordisOnTheStreet · 09/06/2021 16:42

@Blueberrycheesecake1

The thing is I can't guarantee the toddler would be as good on holiday and with the excitement of sharing... but I dread any alternative!!
Well she's an adult getting a free holiday so she should be willing to pitch in a bit with her half siblings! (NB I think it's lovely she wants to come with you and if you can afford to treat her that's lovely too, but if she's coming as a member of family she'll presumably not mind acting like one).
30degreesandmeltinghere · 09/06/2021 16:44

Mean spirited?
Mean and bordering on cf territory of the adult gate crasher who expects a free trip no?

30degreesandmeltinghere · 09/06/2021 16:45

selove - - mean spirited to fund a gatecrasher a free holiday? Op I think your dsd is on here...

BlueDucky · 09/06/2021 16:45

Toddler and baby should share or a 3 year old should go in with you. Asking an adult to share with a child they done normally live with its a bit off.

BlueDucky · 09/06/2021 16:45

*don't normally live with is a bit off

TheoMeo · 09/06/2021 16:46

Lilo on floor of DH's room, you share with toddler.
winwin (for you)

olivesnutsandcheeseplease · 09/06/2021 16:48

Just say she's welcome to come but she will have to share with 3 year old. Take it or leave it basically - it's your holiday, you don't need to bend over backwards for her when she's invited herself

Glittertwins · 09/06/2021 16:50

She has basically invited herself and gets no say in whether she gets sole occupancy or she pays the extra for a 4 bed if there is availability

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