Being a dick to ask for the money back?

[Youresogolden]

Went out a few weeks ago for mums play date/brunch. I ended up paying for a friend there as she forgot her purse, big confusion as paid for her drink but then she took the change given by the waiter (which was mine) so she owed me £10. She texted later laughing about her mistake and saying we’d have to meet and she’d give it to me. I said no worries etc and left it at that. We’re due to go for another play date/brunch with lots of mums on Friday, arranged by her as she lives nearby. Would I be being a dick to text beforehand asking if she could give me the tenner so I can get brunch for Dd and myself? Or should I wait to see if she offers to pay for it..? She’s very scatty, disorganised and forgetful, so she may have forgotten..just I’m quite skint this week and it would help?

following

She knew OP and for whatever reason she took the change and fleeced you got her food. I'd be amazed if she pays you back unprompted. No one is that "ditzy".

@Needsleeeeepsendheeeelp I wrote above quite a few times 🤣

@momtoboys Have you had similar?

my own sister did this to me. Constantly. I was such a mug! She'd suggest going out to eat, then once we ordered, she'd say 'oh, I've only got.... ' - always much less than the bill to cover her order. This went on for far too long, until the day her DH came to pick her up from my house and declared that it was a good day - the day they had a MILLION in the bank. No more. What a mug I was!

Sounds really odd. Id be suspicious that she took your change. If id accidentally done that id be mortified and asking if you needed me to bring it over or paypal it. Its odd that she hasnt offered. I suspect shes a chancer

I would let it go, so would my friends. However, we can afford to do do, if you can't afford to let it go, you shouldn't feel bad asking got it back.

I would send something very light along the lines of:

'Don't worry about getting that tenner out in cash by the way, I'll send you my bank details when I see you!'

It's light enough to remind her but firm enough to remind her and affirm you expect the money back.

100% I would ask for it back

👍🏻 good idea.

It sounds like the desperate type of thing I would do back when I was in a truly skint period of my life.

Definitely ask for it though - it's yours and you both know it!

@susiebluebell That’s what I wondered, I honestly don’t think it would be deliberate in a cf way, if it was it must’ve been for the reason you said.

@Youresogolden Yes, considering she is a newish friend, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion of CF-ery. Based on your description of the event, I would have thought a desperate need for some cash in the only way she could fathom.

The other possibility, since you keep mentioning how scatty and forgetful she is, would be some type of ADHD situation. My partner and best friend have it, and that type of mishap with money, forgetting to repay/bring stuff, even with the best intentions, they do it all the time.

I'd always rather lend someone a tenner than £7.35 or whatever. Just say you're glad she owes you that tenner because you're a bit skint after half term.

@MaskingForIt

Just text “hi friends, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, I’m a bit skint this week so can you bring the tenner you owe me otherwise we’ll be going hungry”

Why would she have to “bring the tenner”- she’ll have her bank card surely? She just pays for OP’s brunch tomorrow and OP gives her anything above £10.

I would see the next time if she remembers and if not then remind her. It’s only a tenner so if you don’t get it back then it will be a good lesson learnt to not help again.

@susiebluebell Yes, I’ve wondered about Adhd too,

[quote Youresogolden]@momtoboys Have you had similar?[/quote]
Probably over the years; very awkward. I'm just interested in how things turn out so I marked it "following" so it would be easier to look for it when I come back on.

For me the amount of money is irrelevant, its taking the piss. Hopefully she will offer to pay for you next time. Be interesting if you reminded her via text if she would still turn up.

Just text her, if she’s scatty she’s def forgotten!!

It’s quite small-minded not to understand how someone could mistakenly take your change. I was out last week and one lady paid for someone else’s £30 food bill when she’d only had a drink!

So firstly she was a thief and now she has ADHD 🙄

Your her friend fgs op, she text you first about it, you haven’t even seen her yet for when you arranged to get the money from her?!

@Moonshine11 I have wondered about the Adhd previously as I’ve never met someone as scatty/disorganised and forgetful as she is. It’s endearing at times, but also, I’ve never seen that level before

Just text and say can you bring that money, cheers.

Why would she have to “bring the tenner”- she’ll have her bank card surely

This! I must be ahead.of the times because I could leave my purse at home and still pay for stuff on my phone using apple pay or if by some weird oddity the place didn't accept contactless then use said phone to transfer money instantly on one of two banking apps if someone paid for.me