Completely by chance my friend just sent a post to me on FB which is utterly brilliant- hilarious but bang on true.
Here’s the link www.facebook.com/100044505816583/posts/342789050547953/?d=n
Just in case that doesn’t work I’ll paste it in full below. I know it’s long but it’s worth reading.
“IMPORTANT MESSAGE! OK, so it's also a bit of a schmaltzy one, but we used to do a poster like this back in the day and I think it bears repeating. Especially as it's hotter than the Devil's cock out there. It's a long post, but it's a good one.
If you have a body, you're beach-body ready. It's a cliche repeated ad nauseam at the moment, but I wish it would sink in for people. Every body has imperfections, everybody has insecurities. But covering yourself up because you're worried what a stranger may think of your wobbly bits is a pointless, endless exercise.
And here's why, using a visualisation technique I read about ages ago. Did you go out yesterday or the day before to the shops? If so, can you bring to mind a single person you passed in the street? This technique doesn't work if you sucked them off or robbed their handbag, mind. Can you describe what they were wearing? How their fat rolls looked under their clothes? Their skinny ankles? Did they need a shave?
Chances are you can't, unless you're a right nebby get. And that's the thing: encounters with strangers are fleeting, transient moments. For all you worry people will be looking at you, do you yourself look at them for more than a second or two before they're lost from your thoughts? Why are you so special, so wonderfully grotesque, that you think you'll lodge in their brains forevermore? You won't.
Because, and I say this nicely, you're just not that important. None of us are. The only people whose opinion you should court - and arguably not even those, because confidence comes from you - are those who care for you. Listen to their compliments rather than expecting criticism. Don't bounce compliments away but take them graciously the best you can. My best friend taught me that lesson, after I spent months telling him to get lost any time he said something nice.
If a stranger makes a snarky remark, which honestly, chances are they wouldn't, then why take it to heart? Imagine being such a miserable fuckface that your joy comes from knocking others down. They may seem confident as they sneer but I'd wager good money they'll be crippled with their own insecurities.
And ultimately, those type of people die alone with cats chewing their faces and the lack of self-awareness to realise the phone never rings because people don't want to spend their time with arseholes who knock others down. It's exhausting. They'll want to spend time with you: confident, happy, fun to be around, but more importantly, being your best self. So balls to whatever anyone else thinks about you: go out and show your bits and get your gebs out and bloody enjoy yourself. Confidence is the sexiest trait of all - and confidence only comes from experience.
And look, I give this advice with experience myself. I've never looked at myself in a mirror and liked what looks back. My face is alright, but the body looks like someone dashed together two people from the odds-and-ends bin and stuck them in a loose skin suit. I have a back as hairy as an Afghan Hound. I tan terribly, ending up with Fruit Salad arms. Bits that are supposed to be toned run away from me when I move and I'm fairly sure we lost a cat somewhere indiscreet a few years ago.
But, when it comes to strangers - whether on the beach or on the streets or even posting on here - negative opinion on how I look counts for nothing. It took me a good few years to get to that point, with previous summers spent cutting about in a BHS long wool coat in case anyone made a crack about my tits. But seeing how Paul looks at me, and how good friends don't, made me realise I was wasting my life and opportunities worrying about something that simply didn't matter. This summer, if you can, I hope you can do the same.
Because, if we can take one key thing away from this, none of us are as important to strangers as we are all guilty of assuming we are. Enjoy your summer, be yourself, wear sunscreen, and live your life.
J&P
PS: extra note for the blokes out there. There's equally no pressure on you to walk around with a body (to quote Clive James on Arnold Schwarzenegger) like a 'condom full of walnuts'. A big beer belly, salami-nipples, hairy bits, dad-bod: there's so many of us who like that. Just sayin'”