To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

In the hopes that you will come back @lotstolose1

Do not assume that being offered bariatric surgery means it is right or it is safe.

I have had it pushed at me on multiple occasions, told that in x years from now I'll be dead if I don't (I have lived past each of those dates)....

I have had it pushed at me and then Drs exclaim about bits of my medical history they knew nothing about, demonstrating they had not actually read my notes.

I have failed to get sensible answers about the results after 5 and 10 years, because the NHS do not (at the time I asked anyway) track such data for more than 3 years post surgery.

The info i COULD find out from trundling round forums on the internet suggested that up to around 3/4 years post surgery most people were fairly happy but beyond that, they were not, had put weight back on, had had complications that caused them suffering that, had they known about in advance, would have changed their decision to do weight loss surgery.

The major aspect for me though, for you... is that it is NOT the end of the story. Weight loss surgery that is successful will leave you with a need for excess skin surgery.

Guess what the NHS will almost NEVER do. Excess skin surgery.

So you'd be back on the merry go round fundraising for that too, and not getting it does tend to depress people (you've effectively switched being fat and uncomfortable to being slim and REALLY uncomfortable, battling sores and infections and struggling to find clothes that accomodate excess skin, which is far harder than ones that accomodate a larger body) and this does trigger them to put weight back on.

If weight loss surgery genuinely is the right option for you, I would get it done on teh NHS, and save your money and fund raising for excess skin surgery down the line. Thats much more likely to result in you being happy and mentally well.

Have you really tried everything? I mean everything? I almost considered a gastric sleeve recently when I was feeling miserable and stuck in a rut. I decided to give dieting one last try and I heard about the Cambridge diet. I thought I'd never be able to do it but two weeks in, I am almost 1 stone down. Its been a long time since I successfully lost any weight and I still have a long way to go (8 stone more to lose) but just seeing I can do it has motivated me massively.
Message me if you want to know more about it.

But if you really feel like bariatric surgery is your last and final option, then yes, start a crowd fund. Good luck xx

My mother (and an aunt) had weight loss surgery a few years ago
My mother was tipping into a size 32/34 and within two years was a 18/20
The problem is while it makes you unable to eat much and the weight falls off,it doesn’t deal with why you comfort eat to the extent you get so large
She also had to have two stone of loose skin taken off her tummy-she almost died from Mrsa afterwards (and she doesn’t have a belly button anymore but does have some impressive scars)

It’s a massive thing to go through and it’s not a quick fix

No advice on crowdfunding but I have had a vsg in the U.K. best thing I have ever done o went threw U.K. company who promises the world. If I was to do it again I would go abroad in box me if you have and questions

Judging by people's comments my diet is the culprit, even though I wouldn't have thought what I eat would make me balloon to 23 stone in very few years but maybe it would.

I wouldn't think so either to be honest but I not an expert, I know what you've posted is a lot better than my own diet though.

I'm wishing you the best of luck OP, I understand its a tough job you have in front of you but you're tough too.

Sorry, this isn’t something I would donate to. I only have one charity I donate to and it’s because it’s close to my heart. Good luck though.

Get it on finance , surely no one pays for surgery upfront nowadays . Interest free credit is readily available from most places / clinics!

@HotChocolateLover

Sorry, this isn’t something I would donate to. I only have one charity I donate to and it’s because it’s close to my heart. Good luck though.

noted

@huuuuunnnndderrricks

Get it on finance , surely no one pays for surgery upfront nowadays . Interest free credit is readily available from most places / clinics!

Assuming you have a good credit rating/can afford the interest.

Which op hasn't got.

With the best will in the world, I doubt the op will succeed at this time. She's run away from this thread because she's been told she needs to eat less/calorie count and being hungry is normal 🤷‍♀️

"Okay thanks, but then when I do measure and inevitably the portion size will be smaller than I expected... what do I do when I'm still hungry? I still find myself hungry at points now and not feeling full"

When I've dieted I've accepted that I will feel a bit hungry at times. I log every SINGLE calorie. I start my diets slowly and adjust my calories downwards until I start slowly losing weight. I make sure I make tasty healthy food and that I really enjoy it.

Losing weight by diet can be very empowering. It's something that you have complete control over and that you are doing entirely for yourself. It's something that you can do that will improve your health and happiness no end! Feeling a little hungry from time to time is a small price to pay.

The good thing about crowd finding is people
can choose what the support.

If your happy to put yourself out there then why not.

I think you'd be better off making long term sustainable changes to your lifestyle.

There's lots of motivation for weight loss on Instagram. Francisdiet is good.

Why beg money from others? It's quite undignified.

@lotstolose1

I'm glad to came back. Mixed in amongst the dross there is some really good advice on this thread, both about getting on the NHS pathway for the surgery and diet.

I just wanted to say again that spending a few days really diligently weighing and tracking your food and drink intake will help you a lot to understand exactly how much you are eating and also where you can make cuts to reduce your calories without starving.

I've been calorie counting since August last year, I've lost 4lb this week, total of 51lb lost now. I still fall off the wagon sometimes, I decided to take a month off of dieting and tracking my food last month because I was fed up of lockdown/restrictions/cold weather and feeling generally blue. Ended up eating all kinds of crap, mainly loads of bread (the chilli and cheese fresh baked stuff they sell in Tesco mmmmmmmmm) and put 17lb on in a month. I was at the end of April only 7lb away from a healthy BMI, after a lifetime of being obese, I was morbidly obese by the time I was 11 years old! Now I'm having to backtrack to get that 17lb off and to then lose the rest to get to healthy, but I know I can do it.

Mindset and determination when dieting is essential.

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo thanks so much. I really appreciate the advice. Yeah there has been some great motivating & helpful comments here. I am definitely going to make a change in my life

@BoeJidensLeftShoe

Makes me laugh how people are saying tits the easy option.

You have 85% of your stomach removed! You're on a liquid diet then a puree diet for weeks. Then you have a permanent restriction on food, for life.

How is that an easy option?!

I think that some people, including patients believe that it's the easy option and the weight will fall off, they'll never feel hungry or deprived ever again.

Which is how people end up stretching their pouch, drinking their calories, ignoring the puree advice to get solid food in and desperately trying any way they can to cheat the restrictions. Especially when they self describe as fussy, picky or 'I don't like any of that salad stuff'.

Perhaps saxenda would be a worthwhile thing to try first?

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I've never heard of that so just looked it up, unfortunately something I'm unable to take. I don't think I could have afforded it anyway. Thanks though.

I'm not sure if your comment of cheating the restrictions of 'I don't like that salad stuff' is a dig at me. But I am trying. I challenged myself to find more vegetables I like and I've actually managed about 6 that I enjoy now, most of my entire life that number has been zero so I'm proud of that.

In regards to cheating restrictions, easier said than done but I wouldn't. Or rather I only would once. Due to the dumping syndrome you get after a bypass, I think this could be one of the only things to put me off seeet, sugary bad treats. My willpower alone isn't enough at the minute and I'm not afraid to admit that.

Sweet*

Re the veg. Explore different ways of cooking it. Lots of people who "don't like x veg" find that they don't like how the veg has been prepared rather than the veg itself. Case in point, sprouts. I don't understand why people here have the tendency to boil them to death (same for lots of other veg). Pan fried or roasted is the best way.

@SchrodingersImmigrant yeah, that is the main way I've found I can enjoy new veg.

My favourite is broccoli but hate it boiled, in fact hate most veg boiled except carrots.

I roast that usually or pop it in a frying pan with my chicken.

Other favourite is asparagus and I find that's best done on the George Foreman

To add I think that's why I don't really do salads. You can't really prepare that in any other way, like they're meant to be cold, raw and crunchy aren't they? Those textures and tastes I just can't seem to enjoy.

I think yes do it. I know people who have done them for lesser things and people have donated. I wouldn't expect to get the whole amount but you'll make something towards it.
However, I have a friend who had the surgery and she did lose a lot initially, but now 4 years on she's almost at her starting weight again. She eats differently - much smaller amounts but often and often late in to the night. For this reason I would think hard about other options first and the underlying reasons for the weight. It's not a guaranteed solution sadly.

If a dietician was to sit down and look at my diet today I don't think there'd be much wrong actually
Just to pick up on this. 99% certain that you are wrong. Ultimately, if you are eating very healthily in small portions, and yet not losing weight, why do you think you will do so after surgery? All it does is reduce the size of what you eat.

Secondly, you really need to think hard about this. My best friend was the same height and weight as you for many years. She got the surgery and her life has been very tough since. She has been ill non stop with many ailments, all linked to the surgery that is resulting in her struggling to eat anything to the point of being severely deficient in nutrients and being totally lethargic all the time. Some days she is pleased she went ahead because she has lost all the weight and feels comfortable in her body and clothes, but on the other hand, she looks 10 years older, her skin is baggy and grey looking, her hair looks awful, and she can't do much activities anyway because she is so tired all the time. It really really isn't the miracle cure people think it is and the only reason it is available on the nhs is because it reduces the risk of diabetes (and other weight related disorders) and therefore is expected to reduce costs.

Saying all that, if you are still determine to do it, DO NOT go abroad. You will need many follow-ups and as said, you are likely to experience some complications which are much better managed by a specialist centre. Your GP is not being honest with you. Treatment in the NHS should be undertaken within 52 week at the absolute maximum. If not, it will need to be investigated and actions will have to be taken. Even if it does take longer because of the ratio of specialist surgeons to patients, it will definitely not be a 5 years wait.

"If a dietician was to sit down and look at my diet today I don't think there'd be much wrong actually."

Hmm I don't know.

And I say this as someone who was obese.

There's a huge element of kidding ourselves/denial.

But I won't disagree that you probably don't eat as much as most people assume you do to be the size you are.

You'll have insulin resistance/pre-diabetes at the very least.

I really beg you to look into intermittent fasting and low carb.

Watch Fat Fiction on Amazon Prime. And buy the book "The Fasting Method" by Dr Jason Fung.

Obesity is really down to the fact that we no longer stop eating. Not that we're eating worse.

You're body needs time to burn fat/energy.

If you're snacking (even fruit, milk in tea) every few hours then it doesn't get that chance.

In the 70s people hadn't even heard of Quinoa and didn't have whole meal pasta and yet people weren't obese.

Because they had breakfast, lunch and dinner and that was it. Not all the snacks in between.

The reason I got so fat was eating at night once DC were in bed.