To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

@Misty999

OP I'm not saying you have this but have a look into lipedema it is a fat disorder that leads to obesity and makes it very difficult to lose weight.

I will have a look thank you, I'm presuming it's something the GP would have tested for though. Judging by people's comments my diet is the culprit, even though I wouldn't have thought what I eat would make me balloon to 23 stone in very few years but maybe it would. I thought I'd need to be eating bags and bags of crisps, cakes etc every day to get where I am now. It's all just crept up on me. My partners the perfect weight, if not a little too thin and he eats like an absolute horse so I just don't understand.

I think when people are a couple of stone overweight or just have a little bit of chub the approach they take would definitely not work for me. I don't think a lot can imagine how it would be to have over 10 stone of excess weight to lose, it's certainly different and a lot tougher to start I think

But at the end of the day, it does all boil down to calories in, and the nutrition in them. I don't believe 500 calories of McDonald's is the same as 500 calories of chicken and veg. You may only put the same amount t of calories in, but no nutrients and lots of inflammation and gut rot.

Thanks all for your lovely advice and comments. I won't be back to this post now as it seems to be veering off into an ugly place.

I appreciate all the genuine advice so much and I will definitely start a food diary, read the suggested book and get some mental help whilst staying on the NHS waiting list/saving up for private.

I don't appreciate being told I don't want to help myself, I obviously do or I wouldn't be writing this. We all know surgery isn't a quick fix or magic wand, but it's obviously a proven method or the NHS wouldn't be funding it. If I'm eligible and it can help than they obviously believe it's probably one of the only ways to help. They wouldn't fund at £12k operation for nothing.

Tbf there was a guy who lost on Maccies. Fat wise imho calories work. Healthwise? Oh god no. That's when the calorie is not a calorie comes in in my personal experience.
I am pretty confident I could lose on 1400 cal in crisps, but would I feel good? Fuck no.
(Do I have crisps once a week tho? Fuck yeah)

Why don't you try e mailing a magazine like one of those weeklies such as 'love it' and sell your story? 4k isn't a massive amount really. I'd donate

something.

Sorry that was to @3Britnee

I'm in the same position. I am desperate for weight loss surgery. I don't look in mirrors now and walk with my head down and still wrap up in this scorching weather. I thought of ways to pay for it asked my parents. But I don't think I could start a go fund me. I always cringe at stuff like that anyway so it's definitely not something I could do.

Be kind to yourself OP, we all have our own vices and struggles going on if you think surgery is for you then go for it by all means but you can absolutely do it on your own!

Someone I work with was your weight and had given up losing it but developed a problem that needed surgery and they refused to operate due to her weight so in her words she had to lose it, it was either that or live in permanent pain.

She'd been fobbed off for years with poor advice about dieting but did loads of her own research and read the Michael Mosely blood sugar diet book which she found the most helpful, has completely changed her lifestyle and as a result has lost 11 stone in about 14 months and is slim now and actually enjoys running.

Honestly you can do it too and don't let anyone including you convince you that you can't. In a fraction of the time it would take you waiting for a life changing surgery on the nhs you could lose it yourself - it's absolutely possible.

Look into matched betting, I made 4k in less than 6 months.
Surgery is a good option for your long-term health and worth the investment. Once you're morbidly obese, it's one of the few things that will drastically reduce your health risks, although obviously it does carry its own. It's very hard to tackle that amount of weight with diet, so don't feel bad that you haven't done it.

Though I agree with PP that a low carb/blood sugar diet would work, it's just surgery isn't a terrible option or a cop out. It's still a very hard thing to go through.

@3Britnee

I was never a lover of salad or veg, I'd rather live off takeaway, or beige food, but I ended up with diabetes so had to train my tastebuds to change. Now I love a salad, and veg.

Peas and sweetcorn were my favourite and even they are out, so at the the moment I'm loving cauliflower and broccoli roasted until crispy then tossed in soy sauce, a tiny bit of sweet chilli sauce and ginger and garlic.

No pain, no gain.

sounds good to me too, except I like the idea of no pain, no gain. I don't like pain and I don't like gain

@RagzReturnsRebooted

Look into matched betting, I made 4k in less than 6 months. Surgery is a good option for your long-term health and worth the investment. Once you're morbidly obese, it's one of the few things that will drastically reduce your health risks, although obviously it does carry its own. It's very hard to tackle that amount of weight with diet, so don't feel bad that you haven't done it.

I know you mean well but, if you'd read the OP's posts, she says that she had a problem with gambling and that this would be a no-go for her.

Once you are past a BMI of 35/40, your chances of losing all your excess weight and keeping it OFF are about 1 in 1000.

Bariatric surgery is the only way to have a decent shot at it.

I would donate if you were my friend

Makes me laugh how people are saying tits the easy option.

You have 85% of your stomach removed! You're on a liquid diet then a puree diet for weeks. Then you have a permanent restriction on food, for life.

How is that an easy option?!

"Once you are past a BMI of 35/40, your chances of losing all your excess weight and keeping it OFF are about 1 in 1000.

Bariatric surgery is the only way to have a decent shot at it."

I disagree with this it's down to the individual! People probably fail because they don't change their habits and mindset!

@lotstolose1

Judging by people’s comments my diet is the culprit

The comments have been made by people who have probably never had any serious weight issues and cannot comprehend that people are different and some people will struggle with weight gain no matter what they do, simply because that is how they are made. People are usually happy to accept that some people are naturally slim, but cannot accept that some people are naturally at the other end of the spectrum.

Weight loss surgery is definitely not an easy option, the surgery takes time to recover from and there are life long implications. I think you know this, but sometimes people will accuse you of taking the easy option.

I had my surgery in 2015 (self funded) so I am in a better position than most of being able to understand why anyone would consider it. But it still isn’t something that I would contribute to if I saw a crowd funding request. I agree with the numerous posters that have mentioned you would invite negativity towards you.

I think that your best option, is to get onto the NHS list and in the meantime do what you can to optimise your diet and exercise and see what you can save up yourself.

There are GoFundMe pages for tons of random stuff.

You don't need Mumsnet or anyone elses approval to start a page to raise funding.

🌸

@WeeFae

Once you are past a BMI of 35/40, your chances of losing all your excess weight and keeping it OFF are about 1 in 1000.

Bariatric surgery is the only way to have a decent shot at it.

I don't agree with that either. I've just checked mine from when I was at my heaviest. 40.2 😲

I've lost 3 stone through diet and exercise and lifestyle changes. I've got 2 and a half to go. When I get to my goal weight, there will be no way I'll get like this again. I'll have to continue otherwise my diabetes will flare up again 🤷‍♀️

@lotstolose1

You will get hungry when you diet, that's kind of the point. You aren't eating everything as soon as you get slightly hungry. Drink water if you're hungry. Think of your son and why you're doing this. I find going for a walk helps. You can do it, but it won't be easy. Even if you get the operation, if you don't follow a proper healthy diet, it won't work.

@Greenrubber

"Once you are past a BMI of 35/40, your chances of losing all your excess weight and keeping it OFF are about 1 in 1000.

Bariatric surgery is the only way to have a decent shot at it."

I disagree with this it's down to the individual! People probably fail because they don't change their habits and mindset!

You'd be wrong.

@WeeFae

Once you are past a BMI of 35/40, your chances of losing all your excess weight and keeping it OFF are about 1 in 1000.

Bariatric surgery is the only way to have a decent shot at it.

I always wonder how many people give up after hearing things like that. I mean I was BMI 51. I take this as a challenge

3Britnee
*I don't agree with that either. I've just checked mine from when I was at my heaviest. 40.2 😲

I've lost 3 stone through diet and exercise and lifestyle changes. I've got 2 and a half to go. When I get to my goal weight, there will be no way I'll get like this again. I'll have to continue otherwise my diabetes will flare up again 🤷‍♀️*

I really hope you are that one in 1000 who can do it, they are obviously out there! I just knew it wouldn't be me and unlikely that it would be the OP either. Good luck with your goal :)