To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

@CatalinaCasesolver

I don't think OP was actually asking for diet advice. If it were as simple for some people as just move more eat less don't you think she would have done it by now?

Mumsnet is very anti fat people and critical of WLS in general I find.

No she didn't but now she has posted her typical food intake there are some really easy wins to be made there. She like so many has been failed by our current system where she has had lots of tests but not received better advice on food. The worst offenders like fizzy pop may have gone but there are still easy wins to be made by cutting out the processed foods - well, not so easy wins because they are highly addictive and it will be difficult to cut them at first. It's nothing to do with anti fat to want to support a young woman to not be at high risk for a miserable life dogged by diabetes and sleep apnea. Or indeed to avoid surgery which is not without risks.

Lots - if you can swap out your sugary, low protein breakfast cereals that will be a brilliant start. These set you up for a blood sugar dip a few hours later which will make you hungrier - perfect conditions for a food company that wants to sell you more crap. I'd just start there for now, making changes more than a few percent at a time is too much. After a few weeks with a more nutrient dense and lower sugar first meal, then move to the next stage, which again will be cutting out processed foods like fridge raiders (which are high in salt and Omega 6 high vegetable oils that our bodies don't process well).
www.nutritioninsight.com/news/big-dippers-overeating-caused-by-blood-sugar-drops-hours-after-eating-finds-zoe-backed-study.html

@PurpleDaisies

You kind of have to ride it out and distract yourself a bit when you’re hungry. It’s hard, but your appetite will change over time. Making sure you’re eating enough protein with your meals will help.

I agree. Unfortunately you just have to get used to being hungry for a few months until your body adjusts.

I eat a lot of celery/cucumber/carrot sticks.

It's not the most fun thing ever, but it's what you have to do.

@BoeJidensLeftShoe

Even if you get surgery your diet will have to change. You need a high protein low carb diet after a sleeve so it's best to start those changes before hand and lose as much as you can before surgery. :)

That is a very good point and should be repeated throughout.

I don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds like your looking for a quick fix

Your motivation is lacking even tho you said you wanted to have another child! But you already have a child and that's not enough for you to sort out your weight & health

I think you need to focus on losing the weight by yourself and show a good example to your child whilst on the list for the surgery

Like other posters have said surgery doesn't always work so find out the root cause of your weight and take your health into your own hands

The surgery will be there to fall back on but personally your in your 20's I would not be having surgery of I could help it

I might add I have no idea how your are feeling but I hope you manage to get some help

I think it's really important for people to realise that EVERY individual has a totally different diet that will work for them

For example I've HAD the surgery and I don't have to restrict anything 9 months in - I've had all my bloods done and I went to see my surgeon for my check up last week.

I don't restrict ANY food. Yes I'm supposed to eat 60g protein - I never manage more than 30g even though my diet is mainly cheese.

The surgery stopped me being hungry at I guess 1100-1200 calories a day - I don't know, I don't count anything any more - which is quite a revelation after 26 years of dieting.

Before it I was RAVENOUS at 1500 - thought about food all the time

I'd definitely suggest BIWI's low carb bootcamp too, it's inspirational and successful.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_bootcamp

Not sure if anyone's also tried low carb with hypno gastric band, maybe ask on there?
www.paulmckenna.com/hypnotic-gastric-band

They are both a much cheaper and less dangerous option than surgery.

The risks of surgery are far higher when you are obese, in your position I would do everything possible to avoid having it rather than trying desperately to make it happen. Like others have already said, losing that much weight through dieting will be hard, but I bet life is hard for you now. Just think long-term and aim to lose a couple of pounds a week, take it slowly.

Best of luck to you.

I was never a lover of salad or veg, I'd rather live off takeaway, or beige food, but I ended up with diabetes so had to train my tastebuds to change. Now I love a salad, and veg.

Peas and sweetcorn were my favourite and even they are out, so at the the moment I'm loving cauliflower and broccoli roasted until crispy then tossed in soy sauce, a tiny bit of sweet chilli sauce and ginger and garlic.

No pain, no gain.

That sounds actually lovely and I am stealing that cauli and broccoli @3Britnee.
I love "Middle Eastern" like cauli. Tiny bit of oil, lemon juice and 7 spice mixed, brush on, roast. Then split into bits and drizzle with yogurt, tahini and either fresh pomegranate or pomegranate molasses (they are so strong you need very little!) and maybe pinch of sumac.
Now I am hungry😂

@SchrodingersImmigrant

That sounds actually lovely and I am stealing that cauli and broccoli *@3Britnee*. I love "Middle Eastern" like cauli. Tiny bit of oil, lemon juice and 7 spice mixed, brush on, roast. Then split into bits and drizzle with yogurt, tahini and either fresh pomegranate or pomegranate molasses (they are so strong you need very little!) and maybe pinch of sumac. Now I am hungry😂

Its delicious, and even better if you add chilli, spring onion and sesame seeds.

Do it, you've got nothing to lose and people crowd fund for all sorts of things. Even if you don't hit target you might get some of the way there.

I disagree about there being nothing to lose - there’s a world of difference between discussing this on an anonymous forum & actually putting your real name and story out there on the internet whilst asking for money. There’s some very very nasty people out there, and you won’t get a wholly positive response.

Wishing you best of luck. See if you can get referred to nhs kings in London - big bariatiric team. They’ve crunched them numbers and it’s “cheaper” to provide the surgery as he resultant weight loss avoids the future cost of health problems. I hope you get the surgery but in the meantime do take on some of the great tips here. I’ll be thinking of you

@Sammysquiz

I disagree about there being nothing to lose - there’s a world of difference between discussing this on an anonymous forum & actually putting your real name and story out there on the internet whilst asking for money. There’s some very very nasty people out there, and you won’t get a wholly positive response.

Yeah I’m surprised at the ‘nothing to lose’ comments. Reputation is one. Any future employer googling your name, for example.

I've just tried calorie deficit for the last 3 months. Ended up gaining 4lbs overall and that was with me really sticking to it. Logging every single thing that went past my mouth. And exercising at least twice a week (I know that should be more)

Then you weren’t in a calorie deficit OP. You can’t break the laws of physics. If you gained 4lb you were eating excess calories and definitely not in any way, shape or form in a calorie deficit.

You have a really poor understanding around food and science, I recommend spending some time on the subreddit fatlogic. I think you’ll find it helpful.

Thanks again all. I've a lot to look at and read and adjust in my life. Definitely not doing the fundraising idea - what a stupid idea that was aha! Guess I was feeling very desperate when I wrote this post but feeling more optimistic after a surprisingly lovely response.

@Greenrubber - of course I'm looking for a quick fix, isn't everyone? That would be the dream. I definitely know that surgery isn't a quick fix or a magic wand. But I do know that's probably going to be the only thing to give me the best head start to continue alone. My current child obviously is a big motivation, I want to take him on rides without being told I won't fit etc etc. I don't want to die early and leave him mother-less etc etc.

I went abroad (Turkey) in April to have mine done. The hospital there was fantastic, I had lots of tests done prior to the surgery that you dont get here and was well looked after. It is no more dangerous than surgery in the UK. It cost £3500 including flights.

Bariatric surgery (though not the band or the balloon!) works in more ways than just limiting how much food you can eat. It changes the hormones and gut as well, and gives your whole body a reset. Watch videos by Dr Matthew Weiner on youtube for a good explanation.

I had a mini bypass and it is the best thing I have done. Eating less/moving more is so inaccurate and ignores all the hormone & gut issues that also drive obesity. Conventional dieting does not work once you are past a certain BMI point, and our weight set point is driven higher. Definitely read "Why we eat (too much)", I use the principles outlined for my post-op eating.

I am now 9 weeks past surgery and have lost 3 stone. I started at a very similar starting pint to you (height & weight).

OP do you crash diet?
I feel like so many people (including myself) have a vicious cycle of crash dieting and then failing.

At your weight I wouldn’t worry about cutting out food groups I’d just track everything I ate and then cut the calories by 500 by replacing some of the food with more veg, having smaller portions etc.
I think portion size is a massive issue for everyone so really try and make these smaller so you can continue to eat all the things you’re eating but you’re just eating a lot less calories.

Actually I dotn think surgery will give you the best head start! Genuinely think you need to get motivated and do it for yourself and your kids and get your head in the right space
Educate yourself on health and nutrition so that your child doesn't fall into your trap

@WeeFae

I went abroad (Turkey) in April to have mine done. The hospital there was fantastic, I had lots of tests done prior to the surgery that you dont get here and was well looked after. It is no more dangerous than surgery in the UK. It cost £3500 including flights.

Bariatric surgery (though not the band or the balloon!) works in more ways than just limiting how much food you can eat. It changes the hormones and gut as well, and gives your whole body a reset. Watch videos by Dr Matthew Weiner on youtube for a good explanation.

I had a mini bypass and it is the best thing I have done. Eating less/moving more is so inaccurate and ignores all the hormone & gut issues that also drive obesity. Conventional dieting does not work once you are past a certain BMI point, and our weight set point is driven higher. Definitely read "Why we eat (too much)", I use the principles outlined for my post-op eating.

I am now 9 weeks past surgery and have lost 3 stone. I started at a very similar starting pint to you (height & weight).

Thanks so much for that lovely message. Really helped me.

I think when people are a couple of stone overweight or just have a little bit of chub the approach they take would definitely not work for me. I don't think a lot can imagine how it would be to have over 10 stone of excess weight to lose, it's certainly different and a lot tougher to start I think.

Also OP your diet sounds expensive. Fridge raiders are super expensive, as are strawberries, and angel delight too compared to a piece of fruit. Cereals too. You could save money with a better less processed diet. I recommend the bbc programme What are we feeding our kids? for more about processed food.

@Greenrubber

Actually I dotn think surgery will give you the best head start! Genuinely think you need to get motivated and do it for yourself and your kids and get your head in the right space Educate yourself on health and nutrition so that your child doesn't fall into your trap

Out of all the comments, I'm sorry but you seem the only one to be a presumptive. I don't appreciate comments on my child, I'm not an idiot and he's not going to go down the same route I have. My mother never had me eating fruit and veg, fish, seafood all the good stuff. I lived on crappy bland foods all my childhood. He has a very varied diet, I feed him all the stuff I don't like - he has fish, all the veg, all the fruit - and in portions appropriate for his age.

Yes my diet and mental health is terrible but I will not project that onto my kids thank you.

OP I'm not saying you have this but have a look into lipedema it is a fat disorder that leads to obesity and makes it very difficult to lose weight.

I'm not trying to be a dick! It's clear you have mental health issues and your lacking in self esteem
I don't know your full story only what is on here but your kidding yourself if you think kids don't pick up on that sort of thing

The bottom line is you have to change your ways
Surgery should be the last resort but it's clear your not helping yourself

I was brought up on unprocessed good homemade food. I've been up to 5st overweight for years.