To consider fundraising/ go fund me / crowdfunding for weight loss surgery

[lotstolose1]

I imagine this will be a very controversial one and I am opening myself to opinions I potentially won't want to hear. All I ask is please don't be nasty and insulting (I can take harsh & honest)

I am fat, majorly fat, even considered super obese. I've tried everything under the sun, I always manage between a few pounds to a few stone and then fail or stall and put it back on plus more. BMI in the high 50's, almost 23 stone at 5ft 2. I am only in my early 20s.

My GP recently agreed that Bariatric surgery would most likely be the best way forward and agreed to put me forward on the NHS. This could take years, maybe 5.

I have looked into options privately and I just can't afford it. My credit is shot to bits. I've considered selling my car but then I'll just leave myself in a worse position as I'll still have the finance to pay off and then no car to get me about.

I have a few household things I could sell, to get maybe about £500 myself. I'm on very low income and no savings.

AIBU to maybe start a go fund me/ fundraising to raise the rest of the money I'd need. I'd need to raise maybe about £4K.

I am deeply unhappy and the thought of even posting pictures of myself and my weight online for a fundraiser terrifies me and not something I'd do lightly....I'm worried I'm running out of time, I'd like another child but don't want to grow through it while being this massive.

As others have said- and I am really not trying to be unkind- your diet is far from ideal. My BMI is 23 and I can't get away with eating what you eat.

Ok thank you all, I didn't think the diet was as bad as what you all made of it so thanks for making me realise.

I don't know how to fill myself, I always find myself hungry and wanting a snack. I am quite fussy to which doesn't help. A lot of the things mentioned to eat I dislike.

In the past year or two I thought I've done really well with getting more vegetables in. I didn't use to eat a single veg but now there are quite a few I challenged myself to try and now actually enjoy. I'll work on it more.

You need to bin the cereal, potatoes and pasta op.

Measure portion sizes too, that's usually at least part of the problem.

Matched betting can get you some money if you're committed to getting your head around it. There's a blog called team profit which actually walks you through earning your first £600. Some people have made a few grand doing it. I found it really complicated though and gave up, so be warned.

What about your local credit union? They might lend you money even with bad credit?

Sell things on gumtree or Facebook.

It's hard and I totally get you, I've been saving up for WLS and it's been a long hard slog, I'm lucky enough to have some spare money each month so have just cut right back on non essentials.

@DriedIris

You need to bin the cereal, potatoes and pasta op.

Measure portion sizes too, that's usually at least part of the problem.

Okay thanks, but then when I do measure and inevitably the portion size will be smaller than I expected... what do I do when I'm still hungry? I still find myself hungry at points now and not feeling full.

I'm not being nasty but I'd put on weight on your diet.

You really need to look at eating really simple, unprocessed things. So breakfast like 2 eggs and and 150gm plain yoghurt with a little fruit and cinnamon. Lunch, homemade vegetable soup with a crisp bread. Dinner, your chicken but with vegetables. Aim for 1200 calories and you'll start to lose. It's a bit miserable at first but you learn the cheats and tricks to keep calories low and fibre high. I like sashimi sticks - you might not but with a bit of soy sauce and lemon juice they are lovely. Oily fish like salmon. Take plenty of vitamins, drink loads of water. And just constantly check your balance between calories in and out. Like I said, it seems a bit crap at first but it does work.

Please go on the waiting list.

You kind of have to ride it out and distract yourself a bit when you’re hungry. It’s hard, but your appetite will change over time. Making sure you’re eating enough protein with your meals will help.

This would be my typical diet on minimising processed foods:

Breakfast - 2 x boiled eggs
Lunch - cold meat or full fat cottage cheese with salad, e.g. rocket/tomatoes
Dinner - home-made curry with at least 3 vegetables, my own spices (not a jar sauce) and double cream.

Snacks/pudding - plain yoghurt, fruit.
Drinks - tea, coffee, water.

I don't always stick as well to this as I'd like to - I sometimes eat some bread or All Bran, for example - but I try to minimise everything processed and as I've said, I've lost 2.5 stone in about 5 months without counting calories/fat/carbs etc.

don't know how to fill myself, I always find myself hungry and wanting a snack

Some of it is the not so great diet and some of it is simply a habit. After first couple of weeks I could with all honesty say that constant jaw movement is a habit for large part and the need to eat all the time goes away. Rough few weeks though. Rough.

Why don't you pop into the weight loss section and join in on some threads for inspiration and support? There are some long runing ones with lovely people.

I don't think OP was actually asking for diet advice. If it were as simple for some people as just move more eat less don't you think she would have done it by now?

Mumsnet is very anti fat people and critical of WLS in general I find.

@lotstolose1 what I discovered about myself is that if I can make it through the first 2 weeks of my body adjusting to less sugary foods and a lower calorie limit then all of a sudden my hunger drops significantly and I don't find it hard so stick to about 1400-1600 calories a day.

You would probably have a higher calorie limit because of your starting weight so put the numbers into My Fitness Pal and see what it recommends.

The first 2 weeks I was hungry, no way to say it other than that, I was really really hungry, but it's just because my body was so used to quick energy from sugar and refined carbs, at about the 10 day mark I noticed a huge improvement and by 2 weeks I felt great.

@CatalinaCasesolver

I don't think OP was actually asking for diet advice. If it were as simple for some people as just move more eat less don't you think she would have done it by now?

Mumsnet is very anti fat people and critical of WLS in general I find.

Simple doesn't equal easy

Google about leptin. All the processed food and carbs you are eating will mess with your satiety receptors.

If you want to lose weight you have to suck it up a bit until your appetite adjusts.

I always find myself hungry and wanting a snack

This will be the processed food talking. It's designed to make you want to snack - it doesn't fill you up properly. Also, those sugary cereals will be causing blood-sugar spikes, which, when they fall, give you that starving feeling. Agree with pp that it will also be habitual.

I think people were just criticising OP's diet because she appears to think it is ok. I don't know anything about WLS at all, but I do know a bit about crowdfunding because I have organised a couple and donated to another couple. I think OP would get a lot of ridicule.

It sounds like you are considering this extreme option because you think you can't lose the weight yourself - but there is a cheaper, safer option you can afford right now.

It's possible to get a cord fixed permanently around your waist, with just enough space to allow for your heaviest time of day. Then, as soon as you gain a couple of pounds, it feels uncomfortably tight and reminds you to cut down. Why not try this combined with an easy target, such as trying to get under 20 stone by Christmas? Then, every time you get under the next stone, you tighten the cord to fit your new waist size.

I notice your diet list includes no drinks - do you drink fruit juices, or several cups of tea/coffee with milk and sugar? That could easily add hundreds of calories.

Try swapping your sugary breakfast for a large banana, eaten slowly.

Are you having one sandwich - or two rounds? Try to keep the protein part as thin as possible and bulk it out with salad.

Keep a strict eye on your dinner portion sizes, especially anything fatty or cheesy. And get out of the habit of eating any dessert if you can.

Good luck with your weightloss.

@RickJames

I'm not being nasty but I'd put on weight on your diet.

You really need to look at eating really simple, unprocessed things. So breakfast like 2 eggs and and 150gm plain yoghurt with a little fruit and cinnamon. Lunch, homemade vegetable soup with a crisp bread. Dinner, your chicken but with vegetables. Aim for 1200 calories and you'll start to lose. It's a bit miserable at first but you learn the cheats and tricks to keep calories low and fibre high. I like sashimi sticks - you might not but with a bit of soy sauce and lemon juice they are lovely. Oily fish like salmon. Take plenty of vitamins, drink loads of water. And just constantly check your balance between calories in and out. Like I said, it seems a bit crap at first but it does work.

Please go on the waiting list.

1200 calories is way too low if OP had a starting BMI above 50. If you provide height, weight and age I can run the calculator for you but it's going to be around 1800 calories a day to lose 1lb(ish) a week.

If you go straight to 1200 you'll feel rubbish, be hungry and give up.

Others may disagree but I think it's normal and healthy to experience hunger. I don't tend to snack I just wait for my meals or have a cup of tea or a satsuma. I think of it as a natural thing, if I ate everytime I was hungry I would be overweight.

Do you like salad op?

This comes in at under 200 calories, I weighed and measured it all, even used tablespoon measuring cups for the mayo and coleslaw. That's a big plate so it's a lot of food for very little calories.

Unfortunately, to see results you have to weigh a bit, at least at first so you get to know what a normal portion look like.

Even if you get surgery your diet will have to change. You need a high protein low carb diet after a sleeve so it's best to start those changes before hand and lose as much as you can before surgery. :)

@CatalinaCasesolver

I don't think OP was actually asking for diet advice. If it were as simple for some people as just move more eat less don't you think she would have done it by now?

Mumsnet is very anti fat people and critical of WLS in general I find.

Given that several of us are recommending a weight loss plan devised by a bariatric surgeon - who is very much in favour of bariatric surgery, unsurprisingly - I don't think your comment reflects the tone of the thread at all.

We've also urged the OP to stay on the NHS surgery pathway. The OP's problem is that there's a 2-3 year wait and going private isn't an option financially.

So the OP might as well try other options while she is waiting, and some of us are sharing what we have found works well. No one has said don't have surgery, although some have sensibly cautioned against cheap overseas options.

@3Britnee

Do you like salad op?

This comes in at under 200 calories, I weighed and measured it all, even used tablespoon measuring cups for the mayo and coleslaw. That's a big plate so it's a lot of food for very little calories.

Unfortunately, to see results you have to weigh a bit, at least at first so you get to know what a normal portion look like.

This is one of my many problem. The fussiness. Out of that entire plate you've got there the only thing I would pick at would be the lettuce. I don't like any of the other bits, even the Mayo (greatful I don't like Mayo, that'd only add to the problem)

@lotstolose1

Ok thank you all, I didn't think the diet was as bad as what you all made of it so thanks for making me realise.

I don't know how to fill myself, I always find myself hungry and wanting a snack. I am quite fussy to which doesn't help. A lot of the things mentioned to eat I dislike.

In the past year or two I thought I've done really well with getting more vegetables in. I didn't use to eat a single veg but now there are quite a few I challenged myself to try and now actually enjoy. I'll work on it more.

Eat slowly and mindfully, concentrate on the food, don’t watch tv or read at the same time. Let your body have time to work out that it has had enough to eat. Drink water slowly with each meal. Once you have finished your evening meal tidy the kitchen, put everything away, tell yourself you have finished eating until the next day. During the day find things to distract you from wanting to snack, drink a glass of water, walk around the block, count to 1,000.

Those who want to help will help, those that don't, won't! Nothing wrong with it, people set up go find me for all sorts of stuff. Being overweight is hard and it's not easy for everyone to lose. Good luck to you

I would join BIWI’s low carb boot camp thread. I was very sceptical at first but lost 1.5 stone in 2 months. First time I lost weight.