"Heirloom" style presents

[ChaosMoon]

For her first birthday MIL bought DD a solid silver cup thing with feet. For Christmas, it was a cut glass ashtray. (Probably not an ashtray.)

Obviously these aren't toys and will apparently be "special" when she grows up.

I have a miniscule set of silverware that was apparently a christening present. They were too tiny and precious to play with as a kid so, what? Was I supposed to grow into a doll's house enthusiast?

There are other examples. We've just moved house and I'm trying to find homes for what is essentially overly expensive tat. It's given me the rage. I've left all DD's stuff on DH's pillow for him to deal with after work, but why must we lug it round for 18 years, just for her to have the same nonsense when she grows up? Oh yes. Because if we don't, MIL will huff when she repeatedly asks about it every birthday. (As she does with similar tat from DH's childhood).
Sigh.

Would anyone else like to bemoan the well intentioned rubbish that they have become curators of?

(I know I should just charity shop it or get over it. The former will lead to too many tedious conversations but I intend to do the latter once I've got it out of my system on here.)

What's your definition of tat, if its not mass produced, fairly useless stuff?
Things that last, don't break easily and are generally useless.
Wood is a sustainable material that lasts, will last for many generations. The giver obviously made an effort not to give mass produced stuff as they had the box personalised. Lots of people prefer wooden toys to plastic.

Did your son enjoy the jigsaws?

At the time, what would you have wantes instead?

ormorecharacters- if its solid silver or gold you can sell it at a pawnbrokers for its weight value.

@willstarttomorrow

Just to add, lifelong national trust membership would leave me cold. I spent my childhood being dragged around bloody national trust properties and this is not something I would ever want to replicate as an adult with my child. For lots of people it would be a nice gift- for several more a total waste of money.

You can just use it to go to the playground, though. Because it's free we do.

@BeastOfBODMAS thank you so much for those pictures! 😂

There are some really lovely ideas here but it's true that the stuff I like might not be the stuff DD likes when she's older either. This has been very helpful to get out of my system though, so thank you all. I can now go back to internally rolling my eyes (and laying more flooring in the attic to store it all).

I think a silver napkin ring as a Baptismal gifts went back to mid 19th century. Certainly, Queen Victoria’s children had them.

YADNBU. I was just talking about this with my mum a couple of days ago and she was saying that she has got rid of quite a bit of stuff recently, one reason being that she doesn't want people to have to sort through piles of stuff and figure out what to do with it when she dies (she is only in her early 60s btw but is thinking ahead!).

When I was a child in the 80s/90s we had shedloads of stuff at home that had been passed on by older relatives - you know, the brown furniture, ornaments and glassware, fur coats, even Victorian quilts and nightdresses! When my DGPs died it was the same - things that had been put away in drawers and cabinets and never used because they were 'too special', trying to figure out what to do with them.

As an 80s child I do in fact have a tiny christening bracelet, hairbrushes, a tooth pot, Bunnikins crockery, Beatrix Potter fugurines, pearls etc. packed away in my box of childhood keepsakes. But I would be bemused if relatives bought stuff for my DCs like that now and I have never bought them for friends or relatives.

[quote TeacupDrama]@Clymene genuine silver cutlery hall marked is worth a lot the scrap value is 33p a gram and can be polished and will sell for over scrap value
however most cutlery is silver plated ( normally will have EP or EPNS or occasionally Brittania silver on it sometimes excess polishing means no silver plate left and it is not worth much but it still could be £50+ as a canteen in a box or case
crystal is more difficult if boxes available and it is stuart / waterford /edinburgh crystal ( normally etched on base) then 6 whisky tumblers maybe £40-60 if unmarked with no boxes maybe £3-5[/quote]
Thank you for telling me that. I have my parents’ solid silver cutlery, I shall polish it, sell it and buy something I really like now.

That's the difficulty, though - what can you give a baby with the expectation that it will be useful to them later in life, when it comes to physical objects?

With girls it's slightly easier, a bracelet or something, boys maybe a proper tankard or tie pin, but who uses those things these days?

The NT membership is probably one of the better suggestions that people have come up with.

Lifetime NT membership is nearly two grand - no way would I buy that when the money could buy premium bonds or go into a savings account. As for a rocking horse or dolls’ house - those are big buggers, who has a house big enough to absorb those?

Yeah I feel like money is the most useful thing tbh! I would love a lifetime NT membership and I know that a friend was given one for her 30th birthday by her parents and was so chuffed but it's the kind of thing that you never know whether someone would grow up to appreciate it or not?

Somewhere in the sideboard lurks a napkin ring engraved with my name and date of birth. I'm certain it has never had a napkin in it, let alone graced a dinner table. I also have a silver feeding set, nestling in its velvet box. If GM wants to make an investment, an ISA might be a better idea.

I have bought money boxes for a few christenings and first birthdays, nice children's ones not really expensive, and put some money in.
My children got silver photo frames from MIL which they can at least use. A friend gave DS a box to put baby teeth in when he was born I had no intention of keeping teeth and threw it away (it was pound land rather than tiffiny).

This is why I always head for the toilet when MILstarts talking about her 'priceless' collection of Toby Jugs.

My grandma left me some heavy gold Victorian jewellery. I sold it and did very well out if it. Bought something I would actually wear to remember her by.

I think a dolls' house could be a great gift and one that became an heirloom piece but it's definitely one you'd want to run by the parent/s first. Those things can be beautiful, but big.

I find throwing stuff away difficult so hate being given crap I feel like I should keep.

Otoh my gran bought me some glasses for my "bottom drawer" for my wedding. It was lovely to find those and thinking her when I was engaged. Ironically since then they have got lost at my parents' house haha

@brogues - hopefully never because we don't re-use napkins from meal to meal. But they were nice thoughts.

Things like dolls houses are lovely but they are big bits of stuff that may or may not be appreciated, and they are well beyond the budget of the average baby gift.

They are probably better as a gift for a slightly older child who could have some say in it.

For my sons christening my MIL brought all of husbands terrifying royal Dalton christening crap from the 80s.
"Because it should be with you"
Why? He's managed without it for the first 32 years of life.
I dropped it all off at the charity shop. Zero time for shit like that in my life.

A single napkin ring is perfectly acceptable. Most U.K. babies get them, surely? They signify the babies introduction and inclusion as a family member. It literally means they have their place at the family dining table. It’s why grandparents often give them, but hold them at their house until they come of age.

Awwh, @LemonRoses I love that. Shame we lose some of our etiquette and traditions.

Sadly I too have boxes of DC's christening gifts in the loft. I take heart in the fact that family and friends enjoyed giving.
Perhaps one day they'll be an heirloom.

@LemonRoses

I can’t know the quality of the gifts, but it’s perfectly normal to give silverware, lay down wine or port, give a piece of jewellery or first edition for an infant as a Baptismal or birth present.

Much, much nicer than some bright plastic tat.

A single napkin ring is perfectly acceptable. Most U.K. babies get them, surely? They signify the babies introduction and inclusion as a family member. It literally means they have their place at the family dining table. It’s why grandparents often give them, but hold them at their house until they come of age.

only if you are posh I suspect.

I have three children and all were christened and no one gave them a napkin ring, thank goodness. We don't use napkins, fabric or otherwise. Who does? Come on, vast numbers of people in the UK eat dinner off their laps every day; on Rightmove I'm always seeing houses furnished without a dining table.

No one laid down any port for mine either . We did get loads of very impractical China children's crockery tho (when do you use it? baby will throw on floor; six year old won't thank you for a bunny egg cup) and an unbelievably ghastly pewter spoon and fork set which cost about £70. After a few years I got DH to agree I could eBay it all.

Better ideas; a book of lovely stories, money, premium bonds, isa.

fridgepants i’ve just got myself one.