"Heirloom" style presents

[ChaosMoon]

For her first birthday MIL bought DD a solid silver cup thing with feet. For Christmas, it was a cut glass ashtray. (Probably not an ashtray.)

Obviously these aren't toys and will apparently be "special" when she grows up.

I have a miniscule set of silverware that was apparently a christening present. They were too tiny and precious to play with as a kid so, what? Was I supposed to grow into a doll's house enthusiast?

There are other examples. We've just moved house and I'm trying to find homes for what is essentially overly expensive tat. It's given me the rage. I've left all DD's stuff on DH's pillow for him to deal with after work, but why must we lug it round for 18 years, just for her to have the same nonsense when she grows up? Oh yes. Because if we don't, MIL will huff when she repeatedly asks about it every birthday. (As she does with similar tat from DH's childhood).
Sigh.

Would anyone else like to bemoan the well intentioned rubbish that they have become curators of?

(I know I should just charity shop it or get over it. The former will lead to too many tedious conversations but I intend to do the latter once I've got it out of my system on here.)

Tbh. It's a pain in the arse for you but it's her gift to her granddaughter. Not really anything to do with you apart from storage. If it's a load of tat, she needs to hear it from your DD. You never know , your DD might attach some sentimental value to her grandmother's gifts. In the whole scheme of things it's pretty harmless. Maybe as your daughter becomes older and your MIL might see disappointment by your DD she may change her gift choices. You're lucky that she buys her stuff.

If you do want to say anything, you could say, that's lovely but DDmight enjoy something that she can play with right now and she can look back with fond memories of.

Unless she buys her gold coins these things will not necessarily increase in value. The silver will always have a value as scrap as long as it's solid silver but depends on the age and who made it if would make any more. Cut glass you basically couldn't give it away. My mum has a load of cut glass silver cutlery and Doulton figures which not sure what we will do with when the time comes to dispose of them. I gave noticed when buying wedding presents for nephews and nieces that what was popular 30 years ago they wouldn't touch with a barge pole. They don't want silver or cut glass and I imagine your dd will feel the same in 20 years time unless they suddenly come back into to fashion. We gave my nephew and niece silver as christening gifts but these were a one off.

Gold coins would be better and are easy stored if she really wants to buy something that will increase in value.
Dh loves Antiques and is a paying hobby for him but we have quites a few stores away as they would not command the prices you would expect despite what you see on TV.

I can’t stop laughing about the single napkin rings. 🤭

I can’t know the quality of the gifts, but it’s perfectly normal to give silverware, lay down wine or port, give a piece of jewellery or first edition for an infant as a Baptismal or birth present.

Much, much nicer than some bright plastic tat.

A single napkin ring is perfectly acceptable. Most U.K. babies get them, surely? They signify the babies introduction and inclusion as a family member. It literally means they have their place at the family dining table. It’s why grandparents often give them, but hold them at their house until they come of age.

@LemonRoses

I can’t know the quality of the gifts, but it’s perfectly normal to give silverware, lay down wine or port, give a piece of jewellery or first edition for an infant as a Baptismal or birth present.

Much, much nicer than some bright plastic tat.

A single napkin ring is perfectly acceptable. Most U.K. babies get them, surely? They signify the babies introduction and inclusion as a family member. It literally means they have their place at the family dining table. It’s why grandparents often give them, but hold them at their house until they come of age.

Many years ago maybe...

@Twilightstarbright

Yes, what does one do with a napkin ring? I have a set of 8 napkin rings but not sure what I’d do with a random one!

I bought a relative a napkin ring for their christening. I went to a jewellers and bought a vintage one with a special link to the family.

It was a hit because said child was the only one in the family without their own napkin ring, the others had received theirs as gifts over the years. (I didn't know this!)

I tried to give a sensible gift and got lucky!

I figured with it being vintage they could probably sell on if they needed too.

BabySharker I suppose ours are in their twenties, but my two year old niece certainly had similar Baptism gifts. We bought her a first edition AA Milne.

Our children were each given a first edition Beatrix Potter and our son a CS Lewis. They are very treasured possessions.
Each of the children in our wider family has a napkin ring for use at Grandma’s house.
It’s really not just ‘years ago’.

The miniature silverware sounds lovely, I am dollshouse enthusiast.

A first edition AA Milne/Beatrix Potter/CS Lewis would be excellent gifts indeed. Even a giftee who didn't appreciate the book itself would appreciate its value. You'd hope!

@LemonRoses

I can’t know the quality of the gifts, but it’s perfectly normal to give silverware, lay down wine or port, give a piece of jewellery or first edition for an infant as a Baptismal or birth present.

Much, much nicer than some bright plastic tat.

A single napkin ring is perfectly acceptable. Most U.K. babies get them, surely? They signify the babies introduction and inclusion as a family member. It literally means they have their place at the family dining table. It’s why grandparents often give them, but hold them at their house until they come of age.

No, they're really naff, surely?

There was a thread about etiquette on here recently and apparently napkin rings are one of those things people invented to play at being posher than they were.

I tell you the nicest gift my DD got for her christening - a lifelong NT membership. Much, much more worthwhile than tat and something you can enjoy as an adult, but it's certainly not wasted on a child either.

@SarahAndQuack
A lifelong NT membership is a far better gift than a bloody single napkin ring that is stored at a grandmothers house.
I would love a lifelong membership to NT for my DC

We've definitely used it more than we would a napkin ring!

One of the most stupid things I have is a set of wooden toddler jigsaws in a personalised box....DS2 has outgrown them....do I charity shop them with the box....his name isn't that commonconfused
Sounds like a lovely thoughtful gift! Keep it for when he has his own children.

I know some of the gifts mentioned ate a bit useless, but it's quite rude to call it "tat".

@NormanStangerson

I can’t stop laughing about the single napkin rings. 🤭

They make sense in families where everyone has their own personal napkin ring at the dinner table and fabric napkins are used every day.

[quote BabySharker]@SarahAndQuack
A lifelong NT membership is a far better gift than a bloody single napkin ring that is stored at a grandmothers house.
I would love a lifelong membership to NT for my DC[/quote]
Lifelong NT membership is a completely brilliant present. Napkin rings are utterly pointless and will lie in a drawer, making the owner feel slightly guilty, for life. Along with Tiffany ballerinas, tie pins and assorted other junk.

Buy decent jewellery, give an isa or nt membership. Or a wonderful rocking horse or beautiful dolls house.

Or, if you can't afford that, give them plastic 'tat' that makes them happy.

Not something to live in a cupboard.

I'm realising my family are weird. We use napkin rings all the time.

It wasn't something I remember doing as a child but something I picked up...after my time in the Army!!

In the mess there was a box (like a tiny set of pigeon holes) that had your name and rank. If your napkin was still clean, you popped it into the napkin ring and then your section of the box. If it was dirty you left it on your chair and got a clean one next meal.

I started doing similar at home to cut down on my use of disposable napkins.

My relatives do similar. Huh. We're weird. Oh well. Always have been, always will be.

I have a similar problem but with canvases I’d had done of the kids when they were babies. We’ve just loved house and I want more up to date pictures up but I really feel like I can’t throw away these canvases of my little babies! Am I just going to continue to amass all these large pictures of my kids through their ages 🤔

@Bitofachinwag

One of the most stupid things I have is a set of wooden toddler jigsaws in a personalised box....DS2 has outgrown them....do I charity shop them with the box....his name isn't that commonconfused Sounds like a lovely thoughtful gift! Keep it for when he has his own children.

I know some of the gifts mentioned ate a bit useless, but it's quite rude to call it "tat".

Keeping 3 toddler jigsaws in a personalised wooden box is just not happening.

The question is do I move them on with or without the box?

What's your definition of tat, if its not mass produced, fairly useless stuff?

I have memory boxes for all of mine and put stuff like this away for them when they are older to decide what they want to do with it. Most of its in the loft. Just put it away and when MIL askes day that you’ve wrapped it up very carefully and put it in a special box, with DIL browniew points even if you havnt, she will never know.

Ah the single napkin ring makes a bit more sense now. Never heard of that before or indeed seen anything other than a set of matching napkin rings.

To be honest it really is people trying to be good at presents but actually a bit crap and not really that thoughtful. They are things they imagine are unique gifts and will be treasured but will have no actual meaning to the recipient. Just because it is put away for several years it does not make it treasure. I have loads of single malt belonging to late DH, because he was Scottish. He did not drink.

Buy decent jewellery, give an isa or nt membership. Or a wonderful rocking horse or beautiful dolls house.
The problem is that one person's decent jewellery is another person's "tat", especially 20 years later when fashions have changed.

Just to add, lifelong national trust membership would leave me cold. I spent my childhood being dragged around bloody national trust properties and this is not something I would ever want to replicate as an adult with my child. For lots of people it would be a nice gift- for several more a total waste of money.