"Heirloom" style presents

[ChaosMoon]

For her first birthday MIL bought DD a solid silver cup thing with feet. For Christmas, it was a cut glass ashtray. (Probably not an ashtray.)

Obviously these aren't toys and will apparently be "special" when she grows up.

I have a miniscule set of silverware that was apparently a christening present. They were too tiny and precious to play with as a kid so, what? Was I supposed to grow into a doll's house enthusiast?

There are other examples. We've just moved house and I'm trying to find homes for what is essentially overly expensive tat. It's given me the rage. I've left all DD's stuff on DH's pillow for him to deal with after work, but why must we lug it round for 18 years, just for her to have the same nonsense when she grows up? Oh yes. Because if we don't, MIL will huff when she repeatedly asks about it every birthday. (As she does with similar tat from DH's childhood).
Sigh.

Would anyone else like to bemoan the well intentioned rubbish that they have become curators of?

(I know I should just charity shop it or get over it. The former will lead to too many tedious conversations but I intend to do the latter once I've got it out of my system on here.)

@RosesAndHellebores

I think it's rather lovely. My grown up DC have:

Port (1/2 case)
Antique tie pin (turquoise)
Silver beaker
Engraved napkin ring
Mother of pearl dress studs

Tiffany Cross
Tiffany crystal ballerina
Silver beaker
Engraved napkin ring
Silver dressing table set, set with cameos

All carefully put aside for them, after their christenings and 1st birthdays, except that dd now wears the cross which was a christening present and some of the port has been drunk on special occasions.

So much nicer than plastic tat.

It is over priced tat though, why would anyone want this stuff anymore? My mother has a load of shite in her loft that was gifted to me as a child. I have absolutely no use for it, nor does it contain any sentimental value for me either as I wasn't allowed to use it. Fortunately, I don't have anything like this for my own DC.

My christening was a few weeks after Charles and Diana got married.

You name the commemorative item and I probably had it as a christening gift. Spoons, money box, tea pot, plate, cup, ashtray (actually an ashtray), thimbles, egg cups and weirdly…. a ceramic bell

None of its worth anything at all, I have frequently liberated items to charity over the years. Much to my mums disappointment.

Ask for a nice bottle of Macallan Whisky to put aside for their 18th - should pay for uni :-)

@RosesAndHellebores

I think it's rather lovely. My grown up DC have:

Port (1/2 case)
Antique tie pin (turquoise)
Silver beaker
Engraved napkin ring
Mother of pearl dress studs

Tiffany Cross
Tiffany crystal ballerina
Silver beaker
Engraved napkin ring
Silver dressing table set, set with cameos

All carefully put aside for them, after their christenings and 1st birthdays, except that dd now wears the cross which was a christening present and some of the port has been drunk on special occasions.

So much nicer than plastic tat.

I bet they’re buzzing to have one engraved napkin ring each 😂

I feel your pain.
Kids crockery sets I use, yes it risks them getting chipped but the alternative is they clutter a cupboard until kids are too big for them.

I have (maybe had) a cute tankard that belongs to DH, a cheap hideous version that was DS1, DS2 never got one, DH and DS1 also have cutlery, DHs is bambi.

I have discovered silver plating tarnishes in the dishwasher - oh dear!

So I'm on the logic if it can be used, use it, if it can't.....it can be recycled.

One of the most stupid things I have is a set of wooden toddler jigsaws in a personalised box....DS2 has outgrown them....do I charity shop them with the box....his name isn't that common

@Serpenta I intend to sneak them into her new house and hide them under the bed once enough time has elapsed

Isn't the idea that if you are in desperate need you can sell it?

@RJnomore1

OP you’re planning on storing your MIL in a box? 😂 genius

@Brogues the wedding/ birth certificate rolls are probably one of the few useful things of this sort I have been giving - very quick to find in a drawer.

Getting the bloody document back in after you’ve needed it - whole other story!

I keep any certificates flat in a folder in my writing bureau. Not easy to scan something when it's been rolled up.

What's a hope chest?

Honestly I have no idea what people do with half this stuff. I mean it's a lovely thought but essentially most of it is pure cupboard clutter never to see the light of day.

I’m with you OP, I don’t like this sort of thing at all. DS was given some of it and it’s gone to the charity shop. I’m very grateful for the kindness of the gift but I don’t have to keep things in my house that I don’t want to.

I’m just not sure some of this stuff is ever used!

Yes, what does one do with a napkin ring? I have a set of 8 napkin rings but not sure what I’d do with a random one!

I can understand people wanting to give something for the future but I agree most of these are shit and stuff that just needs to be stored.
My gift to all the children in my family is a high interest savings account that I regularly pay in to. When they're old enough they'll have a good chunk of money for uni/a car/partying and the only thing I need to store is the paperwork.

Just stash it in the loft and forget it.

There must be better things to worry about

I feel your pain! We have a Steiff bear from Mil, bought when DS was born. We must keep it in a box, it must not be played with, tags must remain on as that's where the value is, but we must not sell it - so why are we supposed to care about the value? Grrrr

You know you don't have to follow her instructions don't you?

I’m just not sure some of this stuff is ever used!

That's it exactly, other odd things are tooth and curl boxes, really who keeps this stuff?

Maybe it's something that comes with age, and doing a house clearance. At what point does this stuff get moved on?

40 odd year old toddler cutlery, do I keep it another 40 years for grandkids?
When it comes to clearing our house, would my children want it?

@SuperSecretSquirrels

I hear you!

For every birthday and Christmas from age 8 to about 15 my mum bought me a Royal Doulton “collectors doll”. They were about £100 each at the time in the 80s, so equivalent to about £250 each today. She thought she was doing a great thing and that they would be worth a fortune. They are now worth about £5 each 🙄. And in the meantime they have taken up space in my loft for over 20 years. I don’t feel like I can get rid of them though. And at the time I would MUCH rather have had a barbie!

My MIL bought my Dd a Royal Doulton figurine for her Christening. It was a kind thought and the sort of thing MIL adores. But it's sat in a box ever since. I showed Dd once (she is now 14 & ASD) and she said: 'but what's it FOR?'. I said: 'well I think MIL thought it was pretty and that you might like it'. She said: 'it's not and I don't'. We have not shared that opinion as it would hurt MIL feelings but I can't see Dd ever 'enjoying' it in any way sadly.

You should redirect for "tat" you'd use.

A silver mug/pewter is better than a silver "cup with feet", any child can use it to drink and problem solved. Better than plastic too!

Ask her to buy Premium Bonds instead . Tell her if she continues to buy these 'trinklets', you will give them away or sell them and ignore her moaning.

Can pewter be dishwashered?

Silver tarnishes, i have cutlery to prove it.

If someone is inclined to buy this stuff the Doulton Bunnikins stuff is quite hard wearing.

My parents recently gave me some stuff they've been storing for me, including a box of Christening gifts. I remember when I was a child they were my treasures and I thought they were so precious but now I don't know what to do with it all. As a pp says, it was probably all quite expensive at the time and doubtless very generous of the givers, but worthless now and really a load of old tat - child size gold / silver rings, bracelets, necklaces etc. No use to anyone but I don't feel I can throw it away.

A simple note telling people 'If planning to give trinkets as gift please ensure they are solid gold. Any trinkets found to be plate or vermeil will be returned to sender' should make sure your home remains tat free.

I can't imagine it would offend anyone.

I remember finding the stash of baby keepsakes when I was 16 and I was fascinated. They were at the top shelf of some wardrobes we had and there was a candle from my christening along with silver spoons, egg ups (I think) and other silver type things. I know as an adult it seems a bit useless (and have to admit all of these things are probably in someone’s garage now - not mine, so I can’t pretend they’re precious) but I enjoyed thinking how loved I was by all these strangers when I was a grumpy teenager not speaking… maybe that can help you overcome frustration.

@3ormorecharacters

My parents recently gave me some stuff they've been storing for me, including a box of Christening gifts. I remember when I was a child they were my treasures and I thought they were so precious but now I don't know what to do with it all. As a pp says, it was probably all quite expensive at the time and doubtless very generous of the givers, but worthless now and really a load of old tat - child size gold / silver rings, bracelets, necklaces etc. No use to anyone but I don't feel I can throw it away.

Stuff that is silver or gold I'd be more than tempted to have made into a pendant that could be worn.

@Serpenta

Love it, can you imagine