"Heirloom" style presents

[ChaosMoon]

For her first birthday MIL bought DD a solid silver cup thing with feet. For Christmas, it was a cut glass ashtray. (Probably not an ashtray.)

Obviously these aren't toys and will apparently be "special" when she grows up.

I have a miniscule set of silverware that was apparently a christening present. They were too tiny and precious to play with as a kid so, what? Was I supposed to grow into a doll's house enthusiast?

There are other examples. We've just moved house and I'm trying to find homes for what is essentially overly expensive tat. It's given me the rage. I've left all DD's stuff on DH's pillow for him to deal with after work, but why must we lug it round for 18 years, just for her to have the same nonsense when she grows up? Oh yes. Because if we don't, MIL will huff when she repeatedly asks about it every birthday. (As she does with similar tat from DH's childhood).
Sigh.

Would anyone else like to bemoan the well intentioned rubbish that they have become curators of?

(I know I should just charity shop it or get over it. The former will lead to too many tedious conversations but I intend to do the latter once I've got it out of my system on here.)

I think it depends. In your case yes, it just expensive clutter. Cut glass, silverware etc isn't particularly useful and it's hard to know what toddlers will be into in 20 years.

However, a thoughtful meaningful gift is always lovely. My brother bought DD2 a pottery 'niknak' for her birthday and it is perfect. For context we are from the Potteries and he chose something by a local potter. So not a 'fine' present but it definitely could become monetarily valuable in time and a nice object and a thoughtful gift.

@ClaudiaWankleman it doesnt fit the wine bottle in my fridge, but I’ll buy more and try again. Just to be thorough.

I’m not going to get rid of anything. That’s DD’s burden to bear Our wardrobes and cupboards are full to bursting and our attic only has about 2 ft of floorboards, so storage really is a headache at the moment. But, I’ve just ordered some mdf from B&Q and bought a “MIL storage box” from TK Maxx, so hopefully I’ll have it put away by the weekend. Although now I think @allMontgomerystubercles dusty shelf might have made MIL happier.

@starfishmummy DH tried that with a lot of the stuff she’s given him over the years. It’s become a weird game of sneaking things passive aggressively into each other’s houses and I’m not sure I have the energy to join in!

@SpiderinaWingMirror that is such a lovely idea

What do you mean when you say she brings it up at every birthday though? What can she possibly be expecting you to say?

Reasonable question. She regularly asks DH “do you remember what granny flossy got you? What do you do with it now?” or whatever. He rarely does and when she tells him that it’s a crystal figurine of the Virgin Mary or something, his answer is almost always “I hid it in your spare room” or “I lost it when you insisted that I take it to uni”. She’s never happy about it.

@ChaosMoon oh man, I feel you here. My inlaws are absolute hoarders and I am forever being given random shit from my husband’s childhood like it’s treasure. Some examples include a leaflet from a violin recital he doesn’t remember doing at a village hall once, photographs of dead relatives that he doesn’t remember, or worse, framed bits of obscure homework he did in school. All given to me. WHY?!

At least you can flog yours! I’m stuck with the shit and like your MIL, they ask about it constantly.

I feel your pain! We have a Steiff bear from Mil, bought when DS was born. We must keep it in a box, it must not be played with, tags must remain on as that's where the value is, but we must not sell it - so why are we supposed to care about the value? Grrrr

Yes, I had several decorative spoons I sold off - what is the point of them?
I came across a website fairly recently called ‘buy me once’ which has everyday stuff that’s meant to last a lifetime which would be far more useful. Why has no one ever bought me a decent umbrella!

I feel bad about how funny I find some of these. And wonder if some of you could be my SIL.

Just get a hope chest and put it all in there. Hand over to your dd when she gets her own place.

The main reason we chose not to get DD christened was not a religion one it was so we didn’t end up with this kind of tat. Someone tell me why I’d want my wedding certificate rolled up and stored in a silver cylinder…

I’ve recently come into the beautiful hardback books I was given for my christening- complete AA Milne and some poetry. I’m looking forward to reading them for the first time with DC as I was not allowed my sticky mitts anywhere near them as a child!

I hear you. We were for some reason given a giant Waterford Crystal rocking horse ornament on a wooden plinth 'for' our son when he was a toddler. It's heavy, grotesque, and breakable, all in one.

My grandparents bought me a gold signet ring when I was 12. I didn't like it and I've never worn it. They've long since died and I wouldn't want to part with it, but they were very much of the generation who bought kids gifts that would be useful "when you're older." There were some other things like the sort dolls you can't play with, then pearls when I was 18, still not worn them either.
I'd have been a lot happier with more Sylvanian families!

Keepsake box and put in the loft. My kids have these kids of things plus I kept first outfits etc

@Pootles34

I feel your pain! We have a Steiff bear from Mil, bought when DS was born. We must keep it in a box, it must not be played with, tags must remain on as that's where the value is, but we must not sell it - so why are we supposed to care about the value? Grrrr

“For insurance purposes”, like on the Antiques Roadshow.

My mother palmed this hideous shit off on me when she downsized recently.
I call them Baby With Floor Blancmange and Strangling Christmas Dinner.

Heirlooms my left arse cheek

OP you’re planning on storing your MIL in a box? 😂 genius

@Brogues the wedding/ birth certificate rolls are probably one of the few useful things of this sort I have been giving - very quick to find in a drawer.

Getting the bloody document back in after you’ve needed it - whole other story!

Hate that sort of stuff. I'm not a collectibles or ornaments person. If I have something displayed it's because it's sentimental value to one of us or something functional. If DM had her way, she'd cover all my available surfaces in pointless cheap ornaments with no thought to decor matching or even a theme.

@RosesAndHellebores

I think it's rather lovely. My grown up DC have:

Port (1/2 case)
Antique tie pin (turquoise)
Silver beaker
Engraved napkin ring
Mother of pearl dress studs

Tiffany Cross
Tiffany crystal ballerina
Silver beaker
Engraved napkin ring
Silver dressing table set, set with cameos

All carefully put aside for them, after their christenings and 1st birthdays, except that dd now wears the cross which was a christening present and some of the port has been drunk on special occasions.

So much nicer than plastic tat.

Some of that sounds like it might actually be worth something (Tiffany?) but most of it sounds like a total waste of money, that almost no-one actually wants.

Why can't people give premium bonds if they want to give something other than toys? Then at least there's a tiny chance of them winning a big prize, but in the very least, the money can be used towards something useful like driving lessons, university or house deposit, rather than dusty clutter that will probably end up in a charity shop.

Don't people realise that almost no-one wants 'stuff' any more?

@RJnomore1 It’s in a clear document holder and filed with the other ‘important documents’. We weren’t married in the UK and have two different certificates so I’m never sure which on time send off.

@RosesAndHellebores just one napkin ring each? When would they ever use it?

@BeastOfBODMAS

My mother palmed this hideous shit off on me when she downsized recently. I call them Baby With Floor Blancmange and Strangling Christmas Dinner.

Heirlooms my left arse cheek

How have these charming items not met with an unfortunate incident as yet?

IF the items are only smallish, just put them in a box,out of sight for now, some things could be valuable in years to come. and you can go on to Antiques road show and get a shock about the value later..

I was given a string of v pretty pearls, a very very nice silver photo frame and a small Cotman painting for my Christening. Wasn’t interested (didn’t know the painting was mine actually as my dad hung it up) until I became an adult but I am now!