Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

I get it, I seem to have and endless stream of things that need buying/replacing for my kids.

I do try to buy baby things from FB marketplace (had a smartrike in excellent condition for £15 recently) and also sell them on once I'm done with them. Also Lidl/Aldi have excellent bargains but you need a certain amount of luck.

I do find sellers on FB often unrealisticly expect more money than an item is worth though, maybe reevaluate your prices if struggling to sell, getting something is better than nothing.

You're spending to much on stuff which is fine if you have the spare money to spend, if you don't then you need to stop, you could definitely have made savings very easily.

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)

Could you not have asked friends if anyone had one you could borrow? Unless you plan to use it a lot it's just something you end up sticking in a cupboard. Alternatively they have these little tents in places like B&M much cheaper

• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)

I'd have asked on Facebook if anyone had any plant pots they didn't want, alternatively Primark, Wilko or B&M have plant pots really cheap in the seasonal aisle.

• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)

Primark or Wilko you would have got a cool bag for £5, alternatively you just use a shopping bag with some frozen bottles of water in

• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)

I think this is a reasonable spend, obviously could have been less if you just went for a couple of packs of balloons from a supermarket but I can understand wanting to decorate for your babies birthday.

• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

Reasonable spend

How did parents cope before sun tents were available to buy?

You're just being programmed to think you need this stuff!

I wouldn't have bothered with the birthday decorations, but the chopping board, cool bag and tent all sound fine and will last for years.

I used to have a beach tent when my children were young and wouldn't have been without it. It was obviously designed as protection from the sun but was equally useful for huddling in when it rained!

How did parents cope before sun tents were available to buy?

My parents used an umbrella & a windbreaker. I prefer the beach tent as it's lighter.

I think the OP is getting an unreasonable pasting!
Maybe I've missed it but nowhere has she said she's really struggling financially?
If that's the case then maybe all these knit your own beach tent out of 2nd hand lentils type of suggestions are helpful. But if not, then I totally get your point OP.
I think we've changed the way we live too, and things that help us live more practically/comfortably in own homes and gardens start to seem more necessary

Those are items you'll use a lot & not ridiculously priced, OP. if you can afford it then don't get down about them.

I’ve never owned a pop up tent for the beach and somehow my DC have never burnt so I don’t think that is essential. You don’t need birthday decorations for a 1 year old, they have no idea what’s going on.

Anyway, the random costs will occur throughout adult life especially with children. It gets worse when they’re at school and need fancy dress costumes, money for school trips, non uniform days, school fayres, school photos etc. They also always decide to break their school shoes right before pay day.

I definitely know what you mean. I'm fed up of buying new stuff and getting rid of old stuff!

I've found Facebook buy and sell groups great, but I think it depends on your local community how well it works. I've got loads of stuff on there and often on the same day. Also it seems to help things sell if you offer to drop them off rather than collection only. I'd do this for something like a Moses basket.

@ToooOldForThis

I think the OP is getting an unreasonable pasting! Maybe I've missed it but nowhere has she said she's really struggling financially? If that's the case then maybe all these knit your own beach tent out of 2nd hand lentils type of suggestions are helpful. But if not, then I totally get your point OP. I think we've changed the way we live too, and things that help us live more practically/comfortably in own homes and gardens start to seem more necessary

The OP has complained that the constant need to spend is 'getting her down'. Posters are offering tips to reduce the OP's spending. That's not 'giving someone a pasting', that's trying to help with the dilemma they've expressed.

If the OP had posted 'I'm so happy with my recent purchases of a beach tent for £30 and a chopping board for £10 etc.' I doubt anyone would be bothering to tell her she could have got them cheaper or done without.

You absolutely need all of these OP.

-my parents never bought me a sun tent when I was little, and now I am dead

-pot plants are essential for life. You couldn't re-purpose another vessel. You just couldn't

-warm drinks and sandwiches have been known to be fatal

• home-made decorations mean you don't love your child enough

-Only expensive chopping boards really work. Cheap ones from Home Bargains (£3 or less) actually poison your food.

You're choosing to spend this money OP, you just don't realise it.

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

No. Other shade devices are available.

£15 seems an average price for a coolbag and you will get years of use out if it. It’s more efficient than a carrier bag and frozen water bottles, which will leave your food swimming in water.
Tent is necessary for baby and can be used for years too.
Maybe decorations unnecessary, we never bothered.
I agree; it’s scarily easy to spend money on things.

If the OP had posted 'I'm so happy with my recent purchases of a beach tent for £30 and a chopping board for £10 etc.' I doubt anyone would be bothering to tell her she could have got them cheaper or done without.

Of course they would have! And told her off for stealth posting.

£15 for a cool bag?! You could get for a fiver from somewhere like B&M or Home Bargains!!

Never had a beach rent and been on many beaches with my DC as babies. So that's not an essential. Decorations you could spend a fiver on and still have plenty, same for the rest really. I don't know where you're buying from but those items could be bought for far less.

OP, I don't think any of what you bought is unreasonable, although you could have undoubtedly have gotten it all cheaper elsewhere.

The issue is that you're unhappy about NEEDING to buy these things. I think what you should take from this post is that many things we buy, we don't actually need and there are other solutions. If your constant spending is getting you down (as you say it is) then before you buy the next item, pause for thought and think about how much value it would bring and whether you do actually need it. There's nothing wrong with buying items you want, but there are alternatives in most cases so you're not forced into a never-ending stream of spending.

None of this would get me down.

Gosh op!
Cool bag- supermarket for a fiver
Pop up tent - baby will be slathered in sunscreen, you can find a shady spot and stop imagining a baby/toddler will want to stay on a beach for more than 45 minutes.
Pots - couldn't the plants have gone in the garden - or around a tree in your road?
Decorations - packet of candles and reusable banner
Chopping board - well yes a good quality one should last for years.

Eventually, yes, you will have this stuff (we still use the picnic basket we had as a wedding present 30 years ago - and have at least 2/3 freebies in the cupboard and a supermarket cooler bag which are much more practical), colourful pots - a shed full - they seem to come free when I buy poinsettias at Christmas for a fiver and hyacinths (bulbs go into the garden afterwards) in the v early spring). The birthday decorations I'm afraid I regard as unnecessary "tat" and would have spent the money on something the baby needed or would have got lasting fun from.

at the fill bottles of water with ice and put in a carrier bag is so funny. Not sure this poster spends much time on a beach. They will be incredibly heavy to lug and melt in about three minutes!

OP I was like you after my first child and changed my mindset a bit about where I bought things from and how much I spent on them.

I think buying 1st birthday decorations is lovely for photos to look back on by the way. Hope you enjoy the celebrations

Tents are absolutely not necessary. They might be convenient, they might be desirable, but not necessary. People are wrong for making you think they are.

You will not have to stay at home if you don't have one.

Millions of people have got by with hats, sun cream, umbrellas and muslin cloths draped over buggies.

Sometimes with those types of things, you decide you need them but if you leave it for a few weeks and don’t bother, you survive and carry on forever without the thing! Otherwise it is non-stop buying.

blanket draped across the buggy was enough

Sorry if already mentioned but please, please do not do this. It traps heat and make the buggy like a greenhouse. You need to use either a special sun cover that reflects the sun off or a shade that keeps the buggy open so the heat doesn’t get trapped.

I know the feeling @zoomzoom68 I have periods where I feel there is always stuff we need, definitely gets worse as kids get older.

I tend to pause before clicking on Amazon and always shop around. Supermarkets, B&M, Home Bargains, Wilko are all your friend. You'd definitely get a beach tent for under £15 in Decathlon. Decorations should be no more than £5 for balloons and a banner.

@zoomzoom68 I'm exactly the same but all my things seem to be charity shop/second hand. I think my problem is because everything is cheap, I don't feel like I'm spending a lot but it soon adds up.

For the beach tent, I would return that as that's very expensive. B&M had one for £6.99.
Same for the cool bag, where was that from? Home Bargains and I'm sure B&M had some lovely ones